4-year-old Junjun, not only likes to "compete" with his 1-year-old brother at home; and in the kindergarten class, as long as Junjun sees that others have more toys than him, he will also be unconvinced, and he will have to grab a little over, and usually whenever Junjun sees the teacher rewarding others with small red flowers, as long as he does not, he will not be happy.
The teacher really can't do anything with him, the time is long, and the kindergarten children don't like to play with Junjun.
In fact, Junjun has such a performance, indicating that he is a very jealous child. Jealousy is common among children.
You may ask: Is such a young child jealous? The answer is "yes". Jealousy is a psychological experience that every child experiences. Jealousy is actually a manifestation of the development of children's self-awareness.
When does your baby start to feel jealous?
In fact, jealousy begins to sprout teeth at a very young age, but jealousy is initially shown in the form of "competing for favors", and most of the time it is the child who "competes" for the love and attention of the family.
The struggle for favors can occur between siblings or outside siblings.
When they see their parents hugging others, the child will be "jealous", in fact, this is the initial expression of jealousy.
With the gradual enhancement of the child's self-awareness, the child begins to establish boundaries in thought and material, begins to distinguish between "your" and "mine", and the awareness of property rights gradually increases. Children are more likely to develop jealousy because they see others have more or better snacks, toys, or other things.
Children who are older will even be jealous because others are better than themselves, such as jealousy because others have better grades in school, more specialties, and more popularity.
Moderate jealousy, after reasonable guidance, is transformed into positive action, which can promote children to work harder and strive for their own acquisition; but excessive jealousy will make people destructive and retaliatory, which is very frightening.
Therefore, when parents find that their children's jealousy begins to sprout teeth, they must be guided in time. Help children establish a correct "competitive view" and let children avoid causing trouble and harm to themselves and others because of jealousy.
For example, when a child is lost or even angry because of the "competition for favors", parents should not rebuke the child too much, but tell the child that they understand his feelings, and give the child more attention at the right time, tell the child that "you have always loved him", and help the child to solve the feeling of being snubbed in time.
Don't compare your child with others, and guide your child to evaluate yourself and others correctly
As the saying goes, "the ruler is long, the inch is short." Parents should correctly evaluate their children, find more advantages in their children, and do not compare their children with other children. At the same time, we must also guide children to correctly evaluate themselves and others, and correctly view their own strengths and weaknesses.
In order to let the child correctly evaluate himself and others, in daily life, it is advisable to guide the child to often do the following exercises: let the child try to say his own strengths and weaknesses, and then help the child fill in a form to help the child make a "advantages and disadvantages" record form.
In addition, let the child talk about the strengths and weaknesses of his peers or classmates. Then tell the child through comparison that everyone has their own weaknesses and strengths, and everyone will always be better than others in some aspect. As human beings, we must do well to promote our strengths and avoid our weaknesses, and there is no need to be arrogant and self-effacing, nor do we need to admire or envy others.
Usually in life, parents encounter people who are stronger than themselves, not to be humble, but also to know how to appreciate and praise the strengths and advantages of others, to influence children in a subtle way, and later to meet people who are stronger than themselves in some aspects, they may wish to learn to appreciate him first, have the opportunity to communicate with him again, and even learn from him with an open mind.
Guide children to develop their strengths
A child with full self-confidence and good self-esteem will rarely be jealous of others.
In addition to giving children more encouragement and appreciation and enhancing children's self-confidence, parents should also guide children to develop their own interests and hobbies, develop their own advantages, and obtain self-confidence and self-esteem from their own advantages and strengths.
Parents should understand that no matter what group they are in, a child without any advantages is easy to become the object of neglect and neglect, and in such a situation, the child's inferiority psychology and jealousy are easy to breed.
Parents with conditions can try to let their children go to some of his favorite special classes, children have their own strengths, not only can often exchange experience and experience with peers, harvest friendship, but also can get the appreciation of peers or others, naturally will not be jealous of others.
In the process of focusing on developing their own strengths, children will also continue to develop a sense of self-realization and satisfaction, become more and more confident, and have no spare time to pay too much attention to others.
For example, my colleague's 10-year-old son, typically a versatile child, the school's big and small programs he has the opportunity to participate, and from time to time to receive awards, but also often from classmates and teachers praise, this child is usually full of achievement, self-confidence.
The key is that this child is not only excellent, but also knows how to appreciate the strengths of others, usually always likes to praise others at the right time, so the popularity is particularly good, in school are teachers and classmates like the object.
How can such a child have the heart to be jealous of others?
Don't let your child feel like a lack
In a child's childhood, there is nothing more important than snacks and toys, in these aspects, neither too extravagant, but also not too restrictive. Excessive extravagance is easy for children to develop bad habits of uncontrolled consumption, and if it is too restrictive, it is easy to cause children's lack. Long-term lack of long-term feelings, it is easy to make children's mentality unbalanced, breeding jealousy.
In order not to let the child have a sense of lack, when the child proposes to the parents to buy snacks or toys, the parents do not always refuse, do not always meet immediately, the number of rejections can be slightly more than the number of immediate satisfaction, such as refusing 3 times to meet 2 times, so that both can exercise the child's ability to delay satisfaction, but also do not let the child have a sense of lack;
Usually, you can also help your child to save the pressure money separately, and agree with the child to buy snacks or toys several times a week or month, and let the child pay with the pressure money beyond the range.
In addition, in life, in order to guide children to develop good habits, you can also introduce the "token reward method", when the child completes a specified task according to the requirements, parents can reward the child with small red flowers, smiley faces, etc., and then small red flowers, smiley faces These tokens accumulate to a certain amount, which can be exchanged for some snacks or toys.
For example, Xiao AiYang used to help his cousin wear socks every day, and in order to encourage him, we rewarded her with a small red flower every day, and then 10 small red flowers could be exchanged for a chance to buy snacks, books, toys or toys.
In this way, it will not overly suppress the child's desire to buy, let the child have a sense of lack, and at the same time exercise the child's ability to delay satisfaction.
Of course, all objects are just external things, which can guide children not to pay too much attention to the snacks, toys, clothes and other external things they have, but to concentrate on developing interests and hobbies, and focus on what is beneficial. A spiritually rich child is just too concerned about the external objects around him.
epilogue
Children have jealousy, timely scientific guidance, it is easy to pull the child back to the normal growth track, if left unchecked, then small mistakes can also lead to major disasters.
Is your child jealous? How did you get the lead?
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