Li Meijin on parenting: These three kinds of children seem to be smart, but in fact, it is difficult to have a career when they grow up

Junjun was in kindergarten this year, and his mother taught him to write "big" characters, leaving two pages of Field Character Grid homework paper for him to practice, saying: "After writing these two pages, you can go to grandma's house." ”

Within a minute, Joon Joon said, "Well written!"

It turned out that he had written a big "big" word on each piece of paper with a pencil. Faced with these two pages of homework paper with one word written on each page, the family not only did not correct Junjun's mistakes, but proudly praised him for his cleverness.

Joon Joon's family also often encouraged him to "perform" his little cleverness in front of his guests.

On this day, Joon-joon's 6th birthday, I took his favorite chocolate to celebrate. Joon Joon immediately shouted for food.

Grandma opened a box and said to Junjun, "Junjun knows how to do it." He took a piece of chocolate and said, "Auntie, you eat it first." I took it and thanked him, praising the child for his understanding.

To respect the children, I ate the chocolate. Unexpectedly, Junjun cried and shouted: "Return me chocolate!" ”

At this time, Grandma took advantage of Junjun's closed eyes and cried, secretly stuffed a larger piece of chocolate into my hand, and said: "Auntie did not eat chocolate, she is doing magic to make a bigger piece." ”

Junjun immediately broke into laughter and shouted at me: "Change! change! change! I had to open my right hand and "conjure" out a bigger piece of chocolate.

It turned out that all the people in the Junjun family never ate what children liked to eat, and Junjun understood a fact after trying many times: every time he ate something, as long as he made the appearance of giving it to adults to eat first, he could make adults happy, and adults would never really eat.

Junjun summed up a truth: such an act, while he is praised, not only does not have any loss, but also may get more rewards.

Junjun's parents not only did not correct his thinking, but also often praised him for being sensible and intelligent.

Professor Li Meijin said: In fact, there are 3 types of children, which seem to be very smart in the eyes of parents, but these children are easy to grow up and will not show up, and I hope that parents can pay attention to them.

The three types of children referred to by Professor Lee,

What's going on?

First, play little smart children.

Children are lively and naughty by nature, but some children usually love to play some small cleverness, such as not wanting to eat, so deliberately "accidentally" overturned the bowl, parents look in the eyes, they think that children do this is fast brain, encounter things to know their own way, and even feel that their children are very "smart", can quietly dispose of the meals they do not want to eat.

If the child plays such a small clever trick for a long time, the parents do not stop and do not guide, which will have a huge impact on the formation of the child's values.

As soon as the child appears this kind of sign, parents must pay attention to it and guide the child in time, otherwise the child will easily not appear when he grows up.

Second, children who are too obedient.

Because obedience is good, parents generally like obedient children, in the eyes of most parents, children are naturally obedient to a manifestation of intelligence. But there are also individual children, always obedient to the words of their parents, this type of child's dependence on their parents is often particularly strong, and it is easy to become a mother or a well-behaved woman without opinion when they grow up, which is also difficult to achieve great things.

Third, children who are overly curious.

For parents, children's curiosity is heavier, which means that curiosity is stronger, so this is a smart performance; but for children, there are many things that should not be let children know, people often say that curiosity kills cats. If the child does not understand the principle of "don't ask more questions that should not be known", then it is easy for the child to snoop on the privacy of others when he grows up. Once this behavior is formed, basically the child will not have any big success.

In fact, the above three types of children are not uncommon, and if you think about it, these children do look smarter. However, this kind of cleverness is not really smart, and they especially need the correct guidance of parents.

In this regard, there are two kinds of parents: there is a smart child, the naïve parents are complacent and ostentatious, and the mature parents will find ways to use the advantages of the children to make the children more excellent.

Parents often say these three sentences,

Stupid kids can get smarter too.

The first sentence, "Mom believes you can do it."

I don't know if you have found that some children are usually very timid, and they always want to go to their parents for anything, especially when they encounter problems, their first reaction is to find their parents to help, rather than thinking about how to solve them.

Parents may think that it is normal for children to do this, so they will directly help their children and do not let their children use their own brains to solve problems. In fact, this is very detrimental to the growth of the child, and smart parents should encourage the child to tell his mother that he believes that you can do it.

Children who are often encouraged are often full of self-confidence, easy to develop a good habit of using their own brains, strong self-confidence when they grow up, can think independently when things happen, and it is easy to make a career.

The second sentence, "Everyone thinks differently, you're right to do it."

Some children are particularly competitive from an early age, and they are very anxious to see others surpass themselves, and they feel that they are worse than others. In this case, some parents may blame their children for being stupid and inferior to other people's children, and this mentality is obviously wrong.

Smart parents will take the initiative to encourage and comfort their children, so that children understand that everyone's ideas are different. When children hear such words, they feel that what they do can also be affirmed, and their self-confidence is naturally improved, and at the same time, they can also improve their ability to resist blows, so that children can only be themselves, rather than always care about what others say and do.

The third sentence, "I'm sorry, can you forgive Mom?" ”

As a parent, you will also have shortcomings and do wrong things in life. Especially when the child accidentally breaks into trouble, it is inevitable to lose his temper with the child.

In fact, at this time, the child's psychology is also very nervous, although some parents have criticized the child, they also feel that they have done something wrong, but they will not take the initiative to admit their mistakes to their children. Smart parents will take the initiative to apologize to their children and get their children's forgiveness.

If parents often do this, it will not only minimize the harm to the child, but also make the child realize that doing something wrong should actively admit the mistake and take responsibility, rather than running away.

epilogue

Educating children is always a science worth studying well, parents must have patience and love, do not stick to rules and regulations, and be good at teaching according to their aptitudes, in order to cultivate more excellent children.

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