After the child enters the middle school, some parents find that they are trembling with their children, and often do not know which of their own words, or which action will make the child unhappy.
Colleague Li Jie even sighed when she mentioned getting along with her son.
She said: Now talking to the child, no matter what you say, you will step on the thunder, so that I dare not speak.
Sister Li's son is now a freshman in high school, and one day at dinner, she asked her son if the test papers were all written. Unexpectedly, my son directly scolded her: Can you help me write if I don't finish writing?
Colleague Lao Zhang Lianlian echoed: Now the baby is spoiled, if we dared to talk to our parents like this, we would have been beaten up a long time ago.
Lao Zhang's daughter is in the second year of junior high school, and her temper is also very big.
Once Lao Zhang said: Mathematics is practice can make skill, you usually brush more questions, at least you can increase the score by 15-20 points. As a result, the daughter immediately went mad: if there is such a simple thing as you say, I will give you a test paper, you may not have my score high!
Old Zhang li immediately choked up, and could not answer the conversation for half a day.
For these middle school children, it has become common for their parents to intimidate them, and their parents have not dared to have seizures.
Now the children have strong personalities, and parents are also afraid of their children's mistakes, running away from home, or doing something more extreme, so they can only swallow their anger, not to mention how humble.
Why is it that children who are still so cute and well-behaved in elementary school have a big change in temperament when they enter middle school?
Why is it that the small cotton jacket that used to be considerate and sensible is now leaking wind and is impatient with parents?
Is it the generation gap? Or is it a necessary stage of adolescence? Or do parents lack the art of speaking?
Most children enter puberty after the age of 12, and adolescent children are characterized by a strong sense of autonomy and rebellion, and they want to challenge the authority of their parents and get out of their parents' control.
However, at this time, because they are not mature in their minds, lack judgment, poor self-control, and easy to be impulsive, they are particularly prone to going astray, fighting, early love, addiction to the Internet and other behaviors, if parents completely let it go, it is very dangerous.
Parents don't care if they can't do it, but if they manage it, they will make the child resist.
So what to do?
If the child has entered junior high school, then even a parenting expert cannot do anything about it.
A parent once approached Professor Li Meijin and said that his children were particularly rebellious and that the family had a headache. He wanted to ask Professor Li to help himself to control the child.
At that time, Professor Li Meijin only asked one question, how old is the child?
The parent said he was 15 years old.
Professor Li Meijin said directly: It's late. Can't handle it.
There are two important stages in a child's development.
One is the attachment period before the age of 12.
One is puberty after the age of 12.
Before the age of 12 is a critical period for educating children.
Children before the age of 12 are very weak, he has a strong attachment to his parents, if you want to let the child take the tube after the age of 12, good management, to avoid going astray, then the parents must complete 4 very important things before the child is 12 years old.
There are 4 things parents must do before the child turns 12
1. Establish a good parent-child relationship with your child.
A good parent-child relationship is the starting point and core of family education.
During the child's attachment period, every response of the parent to the child is equivalent to saving money. The more attached the child is to the parents, the more parents can have the psychological capital to educate the children.
Only when the child loves you, trusts you, and respects you can he accept your guidance, and only then can he open his heart to you, let you understand his problems in time, and provide appropriate help.
Don't overdraft your child's love for you again and again, when the love is worn out, the child will close the door of the heart from then on, and it is difficult to open it again.
2. Cultivate a sports hobby for children.
Running, swimming, basketball, football are all good choices.
Exercise can help children relieve stress, stimulate dopamine secretion, keep the brain active, feel happy, the child's life energy is sufficient, and the learning efficiency will be higher.
Exercise can make children's healthier, after junior high school, there are many subjects, the child's learning time is extended, and a strong physique can cope with high-intensity learning.
Exercise can also cultivate children's willpower, sports itself will make people suffer from the body, Professor Li Meijin said, when suffering from the body at an early age, willpower will be stronger, more resistant, in case of things will not be able to move and can not open, go to extremes.
3. Cultivate children's independent ability.
In life, let the children do their own things, wash their own clothes, clean up the room, tidy up the bookshelves, let the children share part of the housework, and the second and third grades of primary school can teach children to cook simple meals.
In addition to the ability to take care of themselves, it is also necessary to cultivate children's ability to learn independently, the ability to regulate emotions, the ability to manage time, and so on. The more independent a child is, the more he can cope with it when he reaches junior high school or high school, if he lives on campus.
4. Let the child trial and error within the controllable range.
Children need to sum up from their own life experiences and grow up slowly.
A primary school student told his mother that he wanted to borrow 800 yuan to netizens. After reading the chat records of her child and netizens, this mother can immediately judge that this person must be a liar.
The mother said to the child: The mother's judgment is that you may be deceived, do you still want to borrow?
The child said: I think he is so pitiful, what if I am not deceived?
Mom said: 800 yuan is your two months of pocket money, you decide.
As a result, the child still lent the money to netizens, and the other party blocked her a second after receiving the money.
The child cried all afternoon.
The mother asks the child how he feels.
The child said: Mom, there are really some people in this world who are very bad.
Through trial and error, this elementary school child understands a very important code of conduct: trust others to a limited extent!
Before the age of 12, the cost of children's mistakes will be relatively low, so that they can be within a controllable range, low-cost trial and error, than parents directly impart experience, preaching, more useful.
In fact, families with good parent-child relations rarely have children who do not respect their parents and intimidate their parents after they enter puberty. Children who have a hobby of sports, have greater independence, and are full of trial and error before the age of 12 are less likely to go astray after entering secondary school.
Have you done the above 4 things? Encourage everyone.