As the saying goes, those who are close to Zhu are red, and those who are close to ink are black.
By the redness of cinnabar, by the blackness of ink.
The influence of the environment on people is enormous, and Mencius's mother understood this truth thousands of years ago.
Therefore, the allusion of "Mengmu Three Migrations" has been handed down.
What kind of person the child is close to, what kind of road will be taken.
But there are 3 people closest to the child, who determine the child's future life.
01, the father determines the child's life pattern
Fathers play a very important role in the growth of children throughout their lives. The so-called "father must have his son", and the shadow of his father can be found in every child. The father's pattern will also directly affect the child's life.
Everyone's father in their hearts is different, that stems from the fact that their respective processes are different, many people feel that their father is not good at talking, in fact, it is true, this is also an obstacle to communication, although it has established a great image, but it makes people feel impersonal, let people feel particularly distant, but this kind of family bond will not change, it will be touched at any time because of some things.
Some fathers are feudal remnants of thought, feeling that they are the head of the family, the father of the child, the father is the son, and the child should listen to himself like a courtier serving the monarch...
Is it not that the family has any imperial throne to inherit, and what imperial prestige is posed? What is the benefit of pulling yourself and the child's high and low positioning so obviously?
Wang Zengqi once said in the essay "Father and Son Become Brothers for Many Years": A father who wants to mold his children with his ideal model is stupid, and it is hateful.
A modern, humane family must first live in peace, and parents should teach people to be in awe, but also to treat each other as equals.
Between father and son, the best and most enviable way to get along is always a "friend relationship", and the father who can really be friends with his child is the father who is really beneficial to his child.
The father is one of the closest people to the child, and the so-called success is to have time to take care of his children, because any professional role can be replaced, but the parent role is irreplaceable.
No matter how much success the father has in his career, the father who is willing to spend time playing with his child is the greatest happiness of the child.
Children always have many wonderful ideas, or a whim, or a real dream, and they always look a little childish and a little absurd.
If the father can pay attention to the child's childish words and support the child's dream, this is undoubtedly the best brick and stone for the child's growth road, the road to talent, and the road to success.
A big difference between father and mother is that the father is masculine as a man, which is also the source of the child's courage, if the father is a soft egg, the child will most likely become cowardly and incompetent.
Courage is the strength of children's growth, high pattern fathers know how to give their children this ability, which is also one of the necessary abilities for children to become an excellent person, with courage, will dare to move forward.
Therefore, if you want to make your child more excellent, the father must first have a big pattern, but also take time to accompany the child, your excellence is the best education for the child.
02, the mother determines the child's human temperature
The mother is like a huge flame, determining the atmosphere and temperature of the family. As someone once said: The loss of a loving mother is like a flower in a bottle, although it is still colored and fragrant, but it loses its roots.
Women are more gentle than men and are more trustworthy. In the family, not only a strong father but also a gentle mother are needed, just like stones and stones together, they will rub and collide, then they need sponge buffers, and the mother plays the role of sponge.
"Men have tears and do not flick", women are more emotional and more likely than men to express their feelings or release their pressure. It is because of this feature that mothers act as emotional chargers in the family.
When the father is struggling in the front, the mother does the logistics work for the family and creates a warm environment for the father to relax and relieve the pressure in the family.
Only when the mother is gentle and good at adjusting the atmosphere, can the family environment be more harmonious, and the family can think and work hard to make it. If the mother is cold and irritable in the family, the family's mood will not be good.
Children prefer to rely on their mothers in the family, and mothers have a greater influence on their children. The mother is gentle, and the child can grow up to have a peaceful attitude. If the mother always blames or always complains, it will cause psychological shadows for the child, which may lead to the child's psychological defects or psychological distortions.
Children are from the mother to learn how to get along with people, from family life to learn how to love people, if the mother is not happy always to the child to transmit negative energy, then the child will not be happy in the future.
Fu Lei's wife Zhu Meifu is gentle and affectionate, Yang Dai praises her as a "gentle wife and loving mother", Fu Lei has a bad temper and loses her temper at every turn, and Zhu Meifu always coordinates between her children and her husband.
In a letter written by Zhu Meifu to her son, she said: "After marriage, because of his short temper, torture, large and small, is always inevitable... Although I am unwise and cowardly by nature, by virtue of my patience, I have helped him invisibly, large or small, which I can be proud of and comfort."
Mothers should control their emotions in family life and think empathy for others. Understand the hardships of the husband, have something to say, don't quarrel and don't complain, everyone in the family is contributing to the family, everyone is not easy.
03, the teacher determines the child's learning attitude
In his book The Road to a Goal, author William Damon emphasizes that adults outside the family play a key role in a child's development.
One of the most important roles is the teacher.
The ancients said that one day is a teacher, and one life is a father.
It can be seen how much influence a teacher has on children.
In education, there will be such a phenomenon: once a child has a dislike for a teacher, it is difficult for him to learn this subject well;
On the contrary, if the child has a good feeling for the teacher in his heart, even if the teacher's teaching level is not high, the student's homework may be learned well.
There are children with good grades in each class, there are also children with poor grades, and there are many reasons for determining whether the child's grades are good or bad, and the teacher cannot decide, but the teacher can influence the child's learning attitude through his attitude towards the child.
Treat children with good grades, treat them with respect, and do not give them preferential treatment;
Treat children with medium grades, care for them, and do not ignore them; treat children with poor grades, look at them with developmental eyes, and find their shining points.
A good teacher may not be able to give children good grades, but it can make children fall in love with learning, rather than hate learning.
The charm of education lies in this, a small action of the teacher can produce such beautiful results.
Many times, the teacher may not know the story, but the seed of hope is quietly sown in the child's heart.
Education in itself means that a tree shakes another tree, a cloud pushes another cloud, and a soul awakens another soul.
Whether it is a parent or a teacher, if you want to make your child more excellent, as the person who can most influence your child, you should first do yourself well and live as a beam of light, so that it is possible to illuminate your child.
Source | Internet