Two days ago, a video of a grandmother taking her grandson to make a game went viral on the Internet, and netizens watched it and called out, "If my family had such a grandmother, it would be too happy." ”
In the video, grandma places shoes in different directions and in different numbers next to a yoga mat, and then the little grandson decides whether to jump on one foot or two feet according to the direction and number of shoes.
Don't look at the game is very simple, but the little grandson is having a lot of fun, and the grandmother praises the child's reaction stick while watching.
A small jumping game can not only exercise the child's reflexes, but also improve the exercise ability, so that there is no need to waste time watching TV, I have to say that this grandmother's approach is too wise.
But not all the elderly can be like this grandmother, there are many posts on the Internet that say the disadvantages of the elderly with a baby, and there are many netizens who complain about the contradictions between the elderly and the elderly, because of the baby.
However, in real life, can you really not use the elderly to help with the baby? Let's look at a set of data.
In 2019, according to data released by the National Health Commission, there are nearly 18 million elderly people in China, accounting for 7.2% of the country's 247 million floating population, of which 43% are specially cared for children.
The elderly leave their hometown to take care of their children, and due to the full opening of the second child, there are more and more elderly people with babies, whether you want to or not, but you can't help but choose the elderly to help, otherwise you will let your family may fall into the embarrassment of life.
But in the life of the elderly with the baby, on the one hand, everyone is enjoying the sweetness brought by the arrival of the baby to the family, on the other hand, it is also due to the contradictions that arise from taking care of the baby.
The conflict between these elderly people and novice parents seems irreconcilable?
The contradictions between the elderly and the novice parents due to the baby are numerous, and there are many cases, some are not happy and scattered, some are restless every day, and some are even separated by wives and children.
1. Contradictions caused by coddling
Girlfriend's son is 4 and a half years old this year, from the birth of the child to kindergarten is to let the grandmother help take care of it, the grandmother usually loves this grandson, in the eyes of the grandmother, this is the eldest son and grandchild, must be taken care of.
After the birth of the child, the drink is formula milk powder, in order to give the best to the child, the grandmother bought imported milk powder, all the toys are branded, and the added complementary foods and nutritional products are all imported.
In addition to diet, in other aspects, Grandma is "afraid of falling in the hand, afraid of melting in the mouth", and the protection is all-encompassing. At the beginning, the girlfriend still felt very happy and at ease, but as the child grew up, the girlfriend had a conflict with the grandmother.
The main reason is that coddling makes the child become willful, domineering, and unruly, the girlfriend wants to manage the grandmother's protection, and the husband hides aside without taking a stance, making the girlfriend more angry.
In order to educate the child, there were many quarrels between the two people, once almost went to divorce, and some people came up with ideas, let the grandmother go home, the child's girlfriend brought it herself, but the work of both people is very good, which resignation is a loss to the family, just like this, in the end, the girlfriend had to swallow the anger, and wait for the child to learn to bring it herself.
2. Contradictions caused by living habits
5 years ago, Grandma Zhang's daughter gave birth to her first child, but Grandma Zhang has not yet retired, so the baby is for Grandma to take care of. 5 years later, the daughter gave birth to a second child, at this time the zhang mother-in-law also retired, and the task of taking care of the child was handed over to the zhang mother-in-law this time.
Grandma Zhang has a straightforward personality, especially likes children, there is a baby at home, Grandma Zhang can be happy, and she came to the city of her daughter and son-in-law by train overnight.
Grandma Zhang is a northerner, and the son-in-law's city is in the south, and she can adapt when she first comes, but as the days pass by, the difference between the north and the south gradually appears.
Grandma Zhang's taste is heavy, while the son-in-law prefers lightness, and when the baby adds complementary food, the contradiction between the two begins.
Grandma Zhang felt that adding some children's soy sauce had a taste, but the son-in-law felt that the child was too small and should be light, and the two often argued about it, and the daughter was splinted in the middle.
There are many reasons for the contradictions between the elderly with their children, dietary tastes, living habits, and educational concepts are all points of contradiction and conflict, and they are almost irreconcilable, is there no family without contradictions?
There are three types of elderly people with babies in the family, and the children are happy for the whole family
In real life, not all the elderly have problems with their babies, and new parents also have inexperience, and the situation of raising babies is "wasted", so the key question is not the elderly or the father and mother, but whether they can use the scientific way to bring the baby.
There are also experts with babies among the elderly, like the grandmother in the video is a typical, if there are these three types of elderly people in the family, it is the happiness of the whole family, and the parents and mothers no longer have to make conflicts with the elderly with the baby.
The first category: knowledgeable and learned old people. Being able to have a certain knowledge reserve shows that the elderly are good at learning and know how to learn, which is not like the home teacher around them.
Such an old man will fill in the knowledge of raising a baby by learning, and if there is a disagreement between two generations, it can be resolved by the method provided in the book, and there is no need for quarrels at all.
In addition, the elderly who love to learn will bring examples to their children, and the elderly will not waste time watching TV and playing games with their children, but will urge children to read books, create a learning atmosphere, and even teach children more knowledge.
The second category: the elderly who like to play with their children. The elderly who can play are cheerful and good at socializing, which has a natural role in promoting the cultivation of children's expression ability and social skills;
It is often seen that some elderly people in the community organize outings, and also take grandchildren and granddaughters to go out to play several times a year. Some people think that today's children are in interest classes, is it good to play like this?
At the beginning, there was no experience, and after a long time, the characteristics of the child were revealed. Expression ability, independent ability, social skills and knowledge skills are stronger than the average child, no one thought that play is also a way to educate children, and the effect is so good.
The third category: the elderly who know how to properly educate their children (not coddling). This is a rare fact, the next generation of relatives is a common situation, and the elderly who can understand and do it without coddling are worthy of admiration.
Perhaps this kind of old man does not have any knowledge, and he will not play with children all day, but there is one thing that these old people are particularly clear in their hearts, that is, children cannot be coddled, will not manage, but can not be blind.
Explain that such an old man knows things and helps his children to bring up his children, does not mean that he must have great power in his hands, let it go, and will educate and educate, and those who will not educate will only help.
Such an approach can not only reduce contradictions, but also not bring bad children, killing two birds with one stone.
The key to bringing children lies in people, not in age, clear understanding of themselves, correcting their position, diligent communication, more thinking, the contradiction between the two generations with a baby is not irreconcilable.
I believe that every parent is looking forward to Jackie Chan, looking forward to the female chengfeng, at the end of the article for all parents to share a good book, don't miss it!
Take the words of the world-famous physicist Yang Zhenning:
If you want your child to learn mathematics well, the first step is to first understand the basic concepts of mathematics; secondly, the origin of its basic concepts, which requires parents to accompany their children to read more mathematical books and play some mathematical games in the process of tutoring their children's mathematical problems.
However, climbing the pinnacle of mathematics is not an easy task. Yang Zhenning, a world-famous physicist, said: "I also think mathematics is very boring, but when I saw Liu Xuanyu's math book, I was very surprised. Can you still learn math like this? ”
Yang Zhenning was the greatest physicist after Newton and Einstein. The math teacher he can recognize, Liu Xuanyu, can't be wrong.
Who is Liu Xuanyu?
Compared with mathematicians such as Hua Luogeng and Chen Jingrun, Liu Xuanyu is not well-known, because his energy is mainly in mathematics teaching and the preparation of primary and secondary school textbooks.
Liu Xuanyu wrote many mathematical books in his lifetime, the most famous of which are these three:
The first book is "Mr. Ma Talks About Mathematics", which mainly talks about how to use the graphical method to solve some of the four problems of arithmetic
The second book is "Mathematical Fun", which mainly talks about the mathematical problems encountered in daily life, we say that all things are mathematics, and learning mathematics through all things is the fastest.
The third book is The Garden of Mathematics, which is a bit more difficult, and it talks about the concepts of functions, continuums, induced functions, differentiation, integrals, and sums, as well as the basic principles of their operations. Although it is a little deep, the method of explanation is very good, and the sixth grade baby can still understand part of the content.
At the same time, take this book to the child, usually the child also tutors mathematics, sometimes feel that going to cram school is a bit boring. But when the child read this book, he found it very interesting, and he could also apply what he learned in the cram school.
I didn't feel tired after watching it for an hour! Parents: It's a rare good book!
For this set of classic mathematical science books compiled by Mr. Liu Xuanyu, parents also gave a high evaluation, parents said that "this series of books in general has a kind of follow-through temptation, from shallow to deep feeling, the language is particularly convincing"
It can be said that after reading this set of books, there is no need to worry about mathematics in elementary and junior high schools.
This set of classic mathematics series, the biggest benefit is to stimulate students' hidden enthusiasm and desire to learn, so that students love to learn mathematics, many parents said that "Mathematics Three Books" is a rare good book, can not be missed!