"If you want to help your children with babies, first of all, your pocket should be hard", the sigh of the 60-year-old man, was praised for being sober in the world

Text/Themi Mama (original article, welcome to share and forward personally)

Old people helping their children with babies is not a new thing.

Take me for example, after giving birth to the big treasure, my mother and mother-in-law took turns to help me bring it, and now that I have two treasures, the two old people are each receiving one.

In fact, to tell the truth, if the family conditions allow, I really want to accompany my children and watch my children grow up slowly, but milk powder money, car loans, and mortgages are all problems.

Therefore, sometimes I have to trouble the elderly to help share some of them, and I am especially grateful for their dedication and support in these things.

But then again, the elderly help their children with their babies, and may encounter various problems, such as conflicts with our young people's parenting concepts, and often some contradictions and the like.

Of course, in addition to these superficial problems, for the elderly, behind helping their children with their babies, there are many inexplicable helplessness and bitterness.

01. Grandma picked up her grandson from school, and the scene that happened made people cry

Aunt Sun is a 60-year-old man who lives in the unit next door to us, because my second treasure and her grandson go to school in a kindergarten, and sometimes when picking up children from school, they often meet. One after another, they became acquainted.

Originally, Aunt Sun and her wife lived in the hometown, but because the daughter-in-law had to work, she rushed to the kindergarten when the grandson went to kindergarten, and Aunt Sun went from the hometown to the big city where the son and daughter-in-law lived, helping to take the grandson.

Looking at Aunt Sun's dress, she is actually a very simple old lady, who usually treats people very kindly, always smiles and heheshe, and has a good relationship with some mothers in the community.

Even said that sometimes whoever has something to do and can't pick up the child, Aunt Sun will also take the initiative to help pick up, really a particularly optimistic, especially friendly old man.

However, even the old man who didn't seem to have any worries actually had something very helpless and bitter about her.

Once, I went with Aunt Sun to pick up my children from school, and as a result, halfway down the road, Aunt Sun's grandson saw a robot toy and lay on the stall and didn't go.

Aunt Sun had no way, so she asked the boss how much it was, and at that time I remembered that it was more than seventy yuan, a very delicate robot toy.

Then I saw Aunt Sun turn her back and pull out a "plastic bag" from the inside of her pants, which contained dozens of dollars that looked very old and had been saved for a long time.

After picking it up and counting carefully, it was found that the money was not enough, and Aunt Sun discussed with the boss whether it could be less, and the boss said that it could not be less, and Aunt Sun told the child to buy it in a few days.

As a result, the child was desperate to buy it, crying and shouting: "Then you ask my parents for money, I want this toy."

At that time, I saw the helplessness and embarrassment on Aunt Sun's face, and I felt a little unbearable and distressed, so I took out my mobile phone and helped the child buy this toy.

Later, Aunt Sun pulled me and told me a lot of things, and at this time I realized that the old man with the baby had so much helplessness and unspeakable secrets.

02. "If you want to help your children with babies, first of all, your pocket should be hard", the sigh of the 60-year-old man, was praised as sober in the world

It turned out that Aunt Sun and her wife were all farmers for a living, and they were authentic rural people, but the son had a career, was admitted to a good university, and then got married and had children, Aunt Sun and his wife borrowed from the east and west, and the daughter-in-law's parents were also good, and they also helped to give a part of the money, which gave the son and daughter-in-law a house in the big city and settled down.

The daughter-in-law is a local, the family conditions are better, but after the retirement of the family and the old couple, they love to travel everywhere, so before the granddaughter-in-law did not work, they were full-time mothers at home.

This is not, finally survived to the child's kindergarten, you can only take Aunt Sun to bring your grandson, but after Aunt Sun and his wife bought a marriage house for their son and daughter-in-law, there is basically no savings, plus they are older, there is no way to "live on the ground", so the usual life is also more tense.

Therefore, since helping his son and daughter-in-law with their children, although they save money and use it, what they eat and use at home, they are all bought by their sons, but the cost of use is still very large.

When she came and went, Aunt Sun was a bit overwhelmed, but she was embarrassed to talk to her son and daughter-in-law, and she could only harden her scalp and insist on it day by day.

In fact, these helplessness that happened to Aunt Sun will also be in some elderly people.

On the one hand, in the eyes of the elderly, asking for money from their children is a very difficult thing to talk about.

On the other hand, parents don't want their children to feel that they have to ask for "hard money" to help them bring a baby.

It is precisely because of this idea that although some elderly people help their children with their babies, they live tightly every day, which makes people very distressed and sad.

Later, in the chat with Aunt Sun, Aunt Sun said: "If you want to help your children with babies, first of all, you have to have a hard belt, otherwise it is really not a taste."

Hearing this made me fall into contemplation, and I was also very distressed about Aunt Sun's situation.

03. In addition to having financial ability, what are the hidden secrets for the elderly with their babies?

In fact, in addition to Aunt Sun, in our community, there are many cases of old people with babies, and in them, we, as children, can also feel more or less helpless and bitter.

So, in the matter of taking the baby, in addition to having economic ability, what are the hidden secrets of the elderly?

First of all, the wife is not around.

Like Aunt Sun's situation, she came alone to help her son and daughter-in-law with her baby, while her wife lived in her hometown.

Over time, there may be many problems.

For example, the old two mouths are not together, usually want to say a heart, do not know who to say, wronged, do not know who to cry, can only swallow in their stomachs.

For example, if the wife is not around, it is inevitable that you will worry about another person, whether you eat well, sleep well, whether there will be any accidents, and your heart will inevitably be at ease.

But these problems, the old man will not tell his children, so sometimes can only break the teeth, swallow into the stomach, people are very distressed.

Second, it is the lack of discourse.

Whether it is to help sons and daughters-in-law with children, or to help daughters and sons-in-law to bring children, many elderly people lack the right to speak.

Whether it is the concept of parenting or the daily arrangement of the family, the elderly are generally "where to point, where to fight", and even some people ridicule: "The old man with a baby is a free nanny."

In this case, many elderly people lack care for a long time. No less effort, but not much recognition, but also extremely sad.

04. Mother Themi's message:

In fact, regarding whether the old man should help us with the baby, in my opinion, helping is the love, not helping is the duty, and nothing is taken for granted.

However, when the elderly give up a more relaxed old age, we, as children, should give the elderly a little more love and more heartache, so that their efforts can be seen.

In addition, the elderly actually have a strong side, do not want to show their vulnerability in front of their children, then we should take the initiative to help the elderly share the pressure of economic and housework.

Of course, the most important thing is not to let the old two go their separate ways, because only when they are together, they are the most at ease.

Finally, I would also like to ask you, what other difficult places do you think the elderly take the baby?