I used to like to go to the pedestrian street to buy clothes, because there are rules that locals know, and you can bargain for things.
Those bosses are very shrewd, the price on each piece of clothing is decoration, the specific price needs to be asked by yourself, and the boss will judge your consumption level according to your clothing, so as to give an unsavory price.
Those who are brightly dressed and young and not deeply involved in the world are usually thin-skinned and embarrassed to bargain, so the boss says as much as it is. And those who are thick-skinned and especially cut the door will bargain with the boss until they say a price that is acceptable to both sides, and this bargaining process is a process of game between the two sides, and there is a lot of room for play.
Later, I gradually disliked this kind of "bargaining" business, because it was too time-consuming and energy-consuming, and most importantly, every time I went home after bargaining, I regretted it again. I always feel that I have suffered a loss, and I should have cut it a little harder just now, maybe it can be cheaper. But you are afraid of cutting too much, others think you are too much, so you are embarrassed to accept the price given by the boss.
Therefore, no matter how to cut, the people who buy feel that they cut less, and the people who sell feel that they make less, and everyone will feel that they have suffered losses.
If you associate the balance of interests in marriage with the "bargaining" of buying and selling things, you will find that whether it is high and low, high and low, everyone will feel that they have suffered losses, and there will be no real winners in this marriage.
When you regard marriage as a commodity to measure the interests of the sale, and calculate the gains and losses, that is, when you want to lose the marriage, even if your love is sweet at the beginning, you will eventually lose to this imbalance of "loss".
Recently watched the marriage of Gu Xin and Ge Yue in the TV series "Heart Residence", which is destined to be a tragedy. The root of the tragedy is not that high and low marriages are married, but that this kind of snobbish behavior of commodifying marriage and weighing it on the scale will eventually destroy everything.
Ge Yue's father is the bureau chief, the family is very rich, can find a man who is the right door to marry, but why would he choose Gu Xin, whose family conditions are far inferior to his own? I think there are three reasons for this:
1, although Ge Yue is rich, but short and looks general, although not ugly, but not very beautiful, usually dressed is not the kind of pursuit of luxury Miss Qianjin, but very simple. And Gu Xin is tall and handsome, has a decent job, this hard condition is just Ge Yue's weakness, so Ge Yue can choose him is also looking at this.
2. Secondly, Ge Yue is an only child, and her parents have money, and everything in the future is left to her daughter. If you find a family with the right door, this kind of man is not easy to control, to put it bluntly, it is disobedient. As a woman, Ge Yue obviously knows what she wants, she is not short of money, what she wants is to be good to her, easy to control obedient men.
3. From Gu Xin's mother's love to show off, speak bluntly and vanity, it can be seen that his parents are not people who can work in scheming, but they have little knowledge and have not seen the big scene. And Gu Xin is also an indecisive personality, like to procrastinate people, in essence, there is no bad thought, Ge Yue must also look at his personality, as well as her family, easy to deal with.
The reason why Gu Xin looks at Ge Yue is obvious, for her to abandon her tall ex-girlfriend, it is because the other party has money.
If we look at the starting point and purpose of Ge Yue's choice of mate, although the economic conditions of the two people are different, they can also be regarded as taking what they need, and they are not unequal.
But just like the bargaining principle of buying clothes, everyone feels that they have suffered a loss. On the one hand, Gu Xin's mother showed off in front of all the Gu family relatives that Ge Yue's father was the director and how luxurious the house they bought was, on the other hand, she would be yin and yang in front of Ge Yue, feeling that she was "selling her son", and the son was better to Ge Yue's parents than to himself. Both want to stain the light of others, but also dislike others, obviously unclear.
And Ge Yue's parents are also, since they have recognized this marriage, they should respect the choices of their children and not interfere too much. Ge Yue's mother felt that her daughter had suffered a loss by marrying low, and when she saw that her daughter was unhappy, she knew that she had been wronged, so she deliberately let Gu Xin do housework and beat him.
Ge Yue's father was even more excessive, privately looking for someone to spy on Gu Xin and threatening Gu Xin's ex-girlfriend not to pestering Gu Xin anymore. On the surface, Gu Xin said that he was very satisfied with him, and only hoped that he would be good to his daughter and that the relationship between husband and wife would be harmonious. In private, he did such a thing, killing people without blood, compared to Gu Xin's mother's show off and yin and yang weirdness, Ge Yue's father was killing people without blood, on the surface, he did not move, and actually controlled everything.
And do you think Ge Yue is very innocent? With such thoughtful parents, she is certainly not simple. No, Gu Xin's mother just said the words "sell her son" in front of her, turned her head to see her mother with a sad face, and said that it was okay, could her mother not see that her daughter was wronged? He will definitely help his daughter out of anger, deliberately let Gu Xin do housework, give him a horse, and beat him. This is also Ge Yue's default, because he is angry, and he also knows his mother's personality, and deliberately allows his mother to taunt Gu Xin.
And since Gu Xin chose Ge Yue, he was still unable to control his mother not to talk nonsense, and talked three or four times yin and yang in a strange way, wasn't it also Gu Xin who acquiesced to his mother's behavior? It is to beat Ge Yue through her mother's mouth, so that Ge Yue does not feel that her family is superior to others if she has money.
In this marriage, on the surface, the heart is calm, but in fact, the open gun and the secret war, everyone has their own careful thoughts, all play their own small calculations, the result can be good and strange.
After all, marriage is not a sale, as long as you get along with the mind of "suffering losses and not suffering losses", using high and low poverty to evaluate a marriage, in the end you will feel that you are "suffering losses" and thus psychological imbalance, once there is a contradiction, you will think that it is the fault of others, it is others who owe themselves, marriage has become a "battlefield", everyone is fighting for power and profit for their own selfishness, some fight for status, some fight for money, some strive for fame, no one is simple.
If you must regard marriage as a sale, then there will be people who will suffer losses, and there will be people who will earn, once there is this psychological setting, the process must be a secret struggle, you fight for me, calculate each other, the result is doomed to be a tragedy, everyone will eventually feel that others are sorry for themselves, they have suffered losses.