Children's rebellion often gives parents a headache. Many parents also often complain that their children become more disobedient as they grow up. So, is child rebellion common? How should parents get along with rebellious children? Let's listen to the advice of Sun Yunxiao, chief expert of family education at the China Youth Research Center.
Is rebellion common in children growing up?
According to relevant expert research, there are two important periods of resistance in the process of children's growth:
The first period of rebellion, at the age of 2-4, mainly refers to physical resistance, that is, to the parents' restraint on their physical activity;
The second period of rebellion is particularly prominent in adolescence, in junior high school, when rebellion is triggered by rebellious psychology, mainly for independence and respect.
According to a survey, 32.6% of secondary school students often have rebellious psychology, and 89.4% of them occasionally have rebellious psychology. It can be seen that rebellion is universal, a regular reaction to the growth of most children, although it annoys parents and even angers them, but has its own rationality.
Therefore, parents should not be too anxious, and it is not advisable to point fingers with rebellious children to Mai Mang. As long as you carefully analyze the causes and take the right approach, you can calmly deal with them.
4 types of child rebellion and recommendations
1. Doting type rebellion
Some parents are particularly fond of their children, and even if the children make mistakes, they will be unprincipled to accommodate. Over time, the child will feel that no matter what he does, others will obey, and thus become selfish and arrogant. When the child's mistakes become more and more serious and the parents want to discipline, the child has developed bad habits, and naturally there will be disobedience and confrontation with the parents.
▍ Recommended
First of all, we must care for our children, but we must not spoil them, and parents cannot indulge their children without restriction. Second, appropriately delay the satisfaction of certain needs of children, so that children learn to cherish and respect. Finally, learn to say "no" to your child, explicitly rejecting unreasonable requests and explaining why.
2. Frustrated type reversal
Adolescent children are fragile and sensitive. Learning difficulties, criticism from parents and teachers, and friction between classmates can affect children's emotions, making them feel sad and even feel that their self-esteem is hurt. If they are not comforted and enlightened in time, children are prone to panic, or hostile to everything around them, and it is easy to argue with their parents.
First of all, pay attention to the child's emotions, warm and relaxed family atmosphere can effectively help children relieve stress. Second, let the child talk freely, when the child is found to be emotionally abnormal, parents should find the right time to talk to the child and guide the child. Finally, never call the child a "bad child", parents can not give the child a complete negative evaluation, to see the child's strengths.
3. Repressive rebellion
Many parents are afraid of their children's rebellion, and the most common thing they say to their children is "obedience", but children who are too obedient may often become problem children. Some children never disobey their parents' wishes, but not resisting does not mean that there are no contradictions, they just bury the contradictions in their hearts. As their sense of self grows, they become more and more eager to make their own decisions, desperately rebelling against their parents, resulting in fierce conflicts.
First of all, the choice is the child's right. When encountering things related to children, discuss with your children, and never make decisions on behalf of your children. Second, parents should give their children a relaxed and free space for development. Always discuss your child's views on various things and affirm your child's efforts. Finally, parents should not play an all-round role in front of their children. For adolescent children, the first principle of education is understanding and respect.
4. Rebellious type rebellion
Adolescent children are prone to emotional instability and even rebellion. They want to attract the attention of those around them through alternative words and deeds. In order to show their independence, they like to criticize and deny everything, especially when parental discipline, they may sharply and harshly refute it, thus proving that they are different. If parents discipline them in front of their peers or the opposite sex, their rebellious psychology will be stronger.
When the child is rebellious, parents should not confront the child tit-for-tat, but can lower the posture and let the child's emotions calm down. At the same time, think about it from the perspective of the child, take a positive and effective approach, help the child establish a correct concept, and let them take the initiative to recognize the right and wrong of things. As long as parents actively guide, they will definitely help children survive the rebellious period safely.
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