He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
People who really care about you tend to be more proactive.
But a person who takes the initiative for a long time will also be tired, especially in the face of a relationship that does not get a response.
Enough disappointment, loss of patience, never getting a response, not seeing the progress bar in the relationship.
At this time, how can the other party persist?
There will always be people who will ask:
"Why did the other party obviously like me, but suddenly became indifferent?"
You only think about the other person becoming indifferent, have you ever thought about what you have done in this relationship?
In fact, the lover becomes indifferent, and the distance between you and you gradually becomes estranged, which may also be caused by yourself.
For example: prolonged "emotional neglect".
-01
"Obviously living together, but always very lonely"
Many readers left messages saying:
The days after falling in love with each other (getting married) gradually changed.
Obviously living with each other, but always feel lonely; obviously it is the feelings of two people, but they always feel that everything is done by themselves, living in their own management, and their feelings are maintained by themselves.
The other party does not seem to have put too much energy into this relationship.
Such a state of feeling is called "emotional neglect."
Tell you a story.
The man worked outside to earn money to support his family, and had not returned home for several months, but he had a car accident on the way.
The car was hit and scrapped, but fortunately the others were fine.
After the accident, he was very afraid in his heart, and after rushing home for the first time, he hugged his wife and children.
And told his wife about his experience of "not dying".
He had thought that his wife would show a strong concern and heartache for him, but he did not expect that his wife's attitude towards him was very cold.
Just "Oh" and said "It's okay".
The man's heart, which had just been put down, was instantly tugged up again, and under the excitement, the man jumped down from the upper floor.
The car accident did not take his life, but he did not expect to be taken away by a word from his wife.
This story is typical of emotional neglect between partners.
Sometimes, a straw is enough to crush a person.
For this man's emotions, his tense heart, are already on the verge of a breakdown; if the loved one pulls him out of the abyss, he will gradually return to his best condition.
If the loved one not only did not pull him, but pushed him down the abyss, what awaited him was likely to be doomed.
Some people like to drill the tip of the bull's horn, once his emotions are always ignored, over time, he is prone to stupidity.
In their feelings, people all hope to get each other's "preference".
What is preference?
You're the only one.
-02
Lovers become apathetic because they don't get feedback from you
Do you know?
The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.
Think about it, your relationship with your lover in the last stage, is it in the hot love period, the two people are very sweet, nothing to say?
So why is it that at this stage, the feelings of the two of you have become cold and there is nothing to say?
A very important factor is that he is gradually disappointed in you.
Why are you disappointed?
It is because his emotional needs, emotional release, and energy acquisition cannot be met from you.
For example:
When he asks you for certain emotional needs, but you always reject them;
When he expresses to you that he is in a bad mood, in a bad mood, and has encountered trouble, not only does he not get your comfort, but he gets your indifference or ridicule.
Psychology calls this emotional deficit "emotional neglect."
It is not only reflected in the relationship between parents and children, but also in the relationship between lovers.
Intimacy tends to hurt people more because strangers simply don't have a chance to hurt you.
So you have to understand that the lover suddenly becomes more and more indifferent to you; it is not necessarily that he does not love you, but that he is gradually disappointed in you.
It is precisely because he pays for you again and again, and talks to you again and again, but he never gets your "positive feedback".
How much patience can you have to persevere in the face of a "non-responsive" person, in the face of unresponsive love?
People who can't open doors and people who can't wake up are helpless and powerless.
-03
What should I do if I encounter the "emotional neglect" of my lover?
First: Manage your emotions – identify, attribute, accept
Everyone has their own emotions.
Some people appear to be emotionally stable, but in private, he must have a way to relax his emotions.
Most people are easily swayed by emotions.
In intimate relationships, we also appear with a wide variety of emotions: irritability, depression, anger, sadness, etc.
When we identify these emotions in our hearts, we must first find the causes and classify them.
Why am I upset?
What is causing me to be sad?
Why am I angry?
What is the reason why my partner makes me angry? Is there a solution?
What can I do so that I don't grieve and get angry?
Constantly reflect in your mind and summarize these questions.
Finally, it is the acceptance of our negative emotions.
People's emotions are like roller coasters, one moment at the peak, one moment at the trough, and the next moment it's a smooth road.
Therefore, it is not terrible to have emotions with a lover, it is important to learn to analyze emotions.
Second: Try to communicate, express needs and ideas
If you are emotionally ignored by your partner, you always choose silence, and a person hides anger and repression in their hearts.
Well, the next time your partner will also ignore you.
Because he doesn't understand what you're thinking, why you're like this, and doesn't even realize that he's ignoring your emotions.
So, you must express your feelings to him in a timely manner.
Like what:
"Something from you makes me unhappy"
"Why don't you care about me?" Why doesn't it hurt me? Why not comfort me? ”
Express your needs in a timely manner and if he loves you, will definitely try to change for you.
On the other hand, if the other person does not love you, any effort you make is useless.
Today's Topic:
Being "emotionally neglected" by your lover, do you become indifferent?
(Article with picture source network)