Every year, reports of bullying on campuses emerge one after another, and efforts are made to eliminate such things, but they have not been resolved. Many parents will have trouble sleeping because they are worried that their children will be bullied, but they do not know that the root cause of their children's bullying may lie in the wrong way of family education.
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Many parents do not understand why children are bullied, in fact, there are many reasons for being bullied, it may be that the child is a little fat, speaks with an accent, does not look good, or has physical defects, etc. A survey found that the probability of obese children being bullied is about 50% higher than that of children of normal weight. But they all have one thing in common: they don't resist after being bullied. It is because of this that they are always bullied, and even continue to be bullied in school. And the psychology that causes them to dare not resist, family education is one of the important reasons.
Misconduct causes children to have no concept of "edge"
There is a situation that many parents may have experienced: when the child plays with the children of friends or neighbors who know each other, and encounters the situation of being bullied, usually parents will say "it doesn't matter" and "playing" to "comfort" their children; in kindergarten, if the child is bullied, he often chooses the solution of calming things, because he feels that the child is still young, it is unintentional. But bullying begins in early childhood, and it's not uncommon in kindergarten. The physical attack that parents recognize the most is only one of the manifestations, and behaviors such as isolation, grabbing things, and saying bad things behind their backs also belong to the category of bullying. A survey of 120 children aged 3 to 5 found that 16.28% of the children had been physically bullied, and 11.63% of the children had been excluded and bullied by spreading rumors [1].
The solution adopted by parents in the case of calming people or without a sense of protection will not only cause children to lack a sense of security, but also make them have no basic judgment on "being bullied", and when the same thing happens in the future, they will not feel that they are bullied and choose silence.
Lack of safety education and dare not resist bullying
The lack of safety education in the family is also the reason why young children do not resist after being bullied. The so-called safety education is actually its own prevention education. Many parents hope that when their children are young, they can live like "princesses" or "princes" in a fairy tale world with only beautiful beauty, so "beautifying" the surrounding environment, often only passing on the good side of the child, so that the child is overwhelmed in the face of the "malice" of others, and will not use resistance to protect themselves. There are also some parents who require their children to be civilized people, when children have conflicts with others, regardless of the reason, they will often criticize or punish severely, which will make children become timid, or have concerns, and do not resist after being bullied.
Intimidation education makes children actively escape in their hearts
We often see parents in order to make children obedient and intimidate them, such as when the child cries, parents will say "don't cry, cry the big bad wolf will eat you" and so on, which can indeed achieve the goal quickly, but long-term intimidation will make the child's heart feel afraid or even afraid, in order to alleviate fear and protect themselves, their hearts will actively choose to escape in the same situation, that is, to close themselves off, do not perceive the outside world, and do not make any reaction. If they feel intimidated by being bullied, there will be no act of resistance.
Poor education reduces a child's sense of self-identity
Studies have found that children with a low sense of self-identity often underestimate the adverse consequences of bullying and believe that bullying is the right thing to do [2]. Under such a perception, they will not only not resist when they are bullied, but may also choose to conceal or not admit the fact that they are being bullied. The reason for the low sense of self-identity of children, in addition to the often said "blow" education, frustration education, excessive praise is also an important factor. The reason for the adverse effects of this praise is mainly manifested in the form of praise, such as just praising how well done, and repeating the things that are easy for children of this age to do, etc., which will make the child receive the wrong understanding of himself, so that he can only accept his "advantages" instead of true self-identification.
bibliography:
Yang Lianyou. The general characteristics of bullying in children aged 3-5 years and their relationship with internalization problem behaviors[D].Shandong Normal University, 2008.
WANG Lin. Self-identity of bullied children and its influencing factors[J]. Popular Literature and Art, 2009(23):28-28.