A 16-year-old goes to the pediatric department to see a venereal disease: sex education is a subject sooner rather than later

Author: Stars (Parents Intensive Reading Author)

A few days ago, watching the documentary "Shining Pediatrician", I was shocked by such a "patient".

16-year-old Xiao Zhou came to see a doctor.

He said that he peed a little painfully, and he looked it up on the Internet and didn't know if it was gonorrhea (venereal disease).

He also said he had sex, more than once.

The doctor asked him with a smile: "Is there any safety measure?" ”

"No, I think it's usually safe," Xiao Zhou's answer made the doctor messy alone.

"That, that is, how to say it..."

The doctor, who had always been calm, also became a little flustered in the face of Xiao Zhou's situation.

The netizens in front of the screen were not calm, and everyone said:

Have sex at 16? Don't do safety measures yet, what a big heart!

In fact, it's not that Xiao Zhou is big, it's just about "sex", he knows too little.

This also sounded the alarm for parents that sex education is a course sooner rather than later.

If parents do not teach, it does not mean that children do not "understand"

There was a "poison" card incident at the entrance of the elementary school before

Parents find a bunch of sex cards in their 5th grade daughter's school bag.

The cards depict various male and female sex positions in the form of comics, and even blatantly write words about sex.

If they hadn't seen it with their own eyes, who would have thought that this was bought by a schoolboy in a stationery store?

Although the source of these cards has been investigated, as a parent, there are still palpitations.

In fact, curiosity is the nature of children.

It is normal for children to be as curious about sex as they are about unsolved mysteries.

However, most parents will have a cognitive misunderstanding, worried that talking about "sex" with their children too early will cause their children's curiosity and be counterproductive.

According to agencies such as UNESCO and UNFPA:

There is no clear evidence that sex education advances the onset of first sexual intercourse, but rather suggests that sex education delays the onset of first sexual intercourse.

A netizen on Douban shared that he also knows that sex education is very important, but when the words come to his lips, he can't always open his mouth.

I originally planned to tell my child at the age of 12, but I always felt that it seemed a little early, and I was worried that if I said it, the child was more curious about what to do?

It dragged on and on until her son was 15 years old, and while she was doing laundry, she pulled a condom out of his pocket.

Only then did I realize that it would be too late to say any more.

In today's information network is so developed, if children think about understanding "sex", there are methods and ways.

Instead of letting children learn some indistinguishable sexual knowledge from the outside world, it is better to teach children to correctly understand sex early.

The matter of "sex" is not that if parents do not teach it, children do not understand.

Sex education should not be cloaked in shame

In "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise", 13-year-old Fang Siqi committed suicide after being sexually assaulted by her teacher for many years.

At first, she also wanted to ask her mother for help, when she cautiously asked "why is there no sex education in our family?"

Mom said, "What sex education? That's for people who need sex, our family doesn't need it. ”

This sentence directly destroyed her courage to ask for help.

Maybe at that time, her mother followed her inquiry and naturally popularized sexual knowledge for her, and the outcome would be different.

Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, argued:

Sexuality is an instinct that determines our gender and social roles, and is one of the ways humans explore the outside world.

In children's thinking, understanding sex is as normal as learning to draw and sing.

Feel that sex is dirty, adult, and erotic.

Blogger Xu Meida shared an interesting story with her daughter.

One day, she ran to pick up her daughter from school.

Because it was too hot, I took off my jacket and wore only a sports vest.

Unexpectedly, as soon as her daughter saw her, she used her strength to help her lift her pants, and almost lifted her pants to her neck.

The reason why my daughter did this.

It is because Xu Meida will teach her since she was a child that clothes can cover the body parts are private parts, and others cannot touch them.

Xu Meida also mentioned that parents should not always feel embarrassed to tell their children about sex.

In fact, this is a very normal thing, don't start yet, you will first twist and pinch, put a layer of "shame" on sex.

If parents usually talk about sexual discoloration, or when talking about "sex", the expression is vague.

It will indirectly cause children to have a kind of sexual shame, encounter things related to "sex", and dare not tell their parents.

Conversely, if parents talk about sex, the more frank and generous they are, the easier it is for children to accept.

Therefore, when parents talk about sex, they may wish to be calm and do not put a shameful cloak on sex education.

Sex education, sooner rather than later

As for when sex education should be more reasonable, it has been a matter of debate.

Some parents think it's appropriate to start early, and some think it's more appropriate to start puberty.

At this point, scholars in the professional field of sex education around the world have formed some consensus: sex education must start from preschool.

However, sex education is not a brain to tell children everything they know, which not only does not have the desired effect, but may also scare children.

Therefore, it is recommended to divide sex education into the following stages:

Before age 6, establish privacy and boundaries.

Psychologists believe that from the first cry of a child, he begins to establish a sense of gender.

Therefore, before the age of 6, we must establish a correct gender perception for the child, and let the child know that his body is private, and the place covered by clothes cannot be touched by others.

This helps children build a sense of boundaries and self-preservation.

Before the age of 12, understand the physiological differences.

Once a friend's pants were stained with aunt blood.

Her 8-year-old son ran to his grandfather in a panic and said, "Grandpa, Mom's ass is bleeding, will she die?" ”

It's funny and crying.

The friend did not fool the past, but took the opportunity to tell his son about the reason for his bleeding and the difference between boys and girls.

To her relief, when her son was 13 years old, when a female classmate came to stain his pants, he did not laugh with other children, but took off his coat intimately for his classmates to cover.

As children grow up, they will be curious about many things, such as why boys and girls have different body structures.

At this time, parents can make a plan and tell their children about the physiological differences between men and women, so that children can better meet the physical changes of adolescence.

Before the age of 16, get to know the relationship and safety measures.

The "Survey Report on Adolescent Reproductive Health Access in China" found that the average sexual maturity age of Chinese women is 11~14 years old, and the average sexual maturity age of men is 12~15 years old.

Children are prone to unsafe sex without knowing the relevant knowledge, just like Xiao Zhou mentioned at the beginning.

At this point, talking generously about the relationship with your child and the safety measures necessary can avoid many unnecessary risks.

Write at the end

Russell once said:

The best way to prevent young people from becoming addicted to sex is to tell them everything about sex as much as they want.

Sex education is not just about educating adolescents about sexuality, but about making sense of their own bodies and sexuality and ensuring they can make informed decisions.

Some people say: if you don't teach sex education, I won't teach it, and there will be bad people who will teach it.

Sex education should be done sooner rather than later.

Starting early can help children establish correct sexual concepts, enhance children's sense of self-protection, and avoid the occurrence of unclean sex.

About author: Fanxing, rich book columnist, 5 years of education work experience, new media writing enthusiasts, insist because of love, different because of persistence, article: parents read carefully, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu, without authorization, shall not be reproduced, infringement must be investigated

Note: The source of the picture of this article is the network, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete