Author | Xu Diandian
Do you do the right sex education for your kids?
The reporter once randomly interviewed children passing by on the street: "Do you know that there are some parts of the body that cannot be touched casually?" ”
As a result, most children can't answer:
"I don't know."
"Mom and Dad never told me, and neither did my teachers."
"My dad never said a boy's body can't be touched."
Only a few children probably know a little. It's heart-wrenching.
Parents are the first responsible person for children's education, and family sex education cannot be missing. Sex education should not be hidden, parents do not need to be embarrassed, can be generous education.
You think sex education is too early, and bad people will not think that your children are small. The sooner you educate your child about sex, the sooner you can prevent danger.
Sex education is not only gender education, but also education in love and life, education in emotion and responsibility, and education in morality and law.
There is a scientific method of sex education, and for children of different ages, it should be gradual and provide sex education that meets the stage of children's growth.
Image source: "Where I Came From"
Before the age of 6, master the "5 alarms"
At what age is it appropriate to start sex education?
Hu Ping, an expert in child sex education, believes that sex education can start from the age of 0.
Of course, 0-3 year old children do not understand anything, but what is important at this stage is not what the parents say to the child, but what they do.
For example, not wearing open crotch pants for children, not changing diapers in the face of outsiders, and not allowing outsiders to tease children's genitals are all protections for children.
Children aged 3-6 will become curious about their bodies and begin to notice that they are different from the opposite sex, asking questions such as "where did I come from?"
At this time, it is necessary to tell the child some knowledge about the body.
● Understanding "Private Parts"
Tell your child that the place covered by the boy's shorts and the place covered by the girl's tank top and shorts are the intimate parts. Don't let others touch your intimate parts, and don't allow others to open or take off their clothes.
● Identify "5 alarms"
Visual alerts: Someone wants to look at your intimate parts, or asks you to look at someone else's intimate parts.
Verbal alert: Someone is talking about intimate parts in inappropriate situations.
Touch alert: Someone wants to touch your intimate part, or ask you to touch his intimate part.
Solitude Alert: Strangers are alone with you when Mom and Dad are away. If you find yourself in this environment, you must go to a place with many people to be safer.
Restraint Alert: Being hugged and kissed by strangers is not allowed. In this case, say "no" out loud.
● Draw a "circle of love"
Child sexual abuse is mostly committed by acquaintances. And children have a hard time distinguishing whether the acquaintances around them are safe and reliable.
Mom and dad can make a table for their children and draw out their children's "love circle". Only those in the circle of love are safe, and no one else can.
For example, moms and dads, important members of the family, can hug and approach their children. If someone outside the circle of love touches it, you must tell your parents as soon as possible.
● Correctly interpret "where I came from"
There is no need to hide it and tell the child frankly that he is the combination of mom and dad's love, and grows up in his mother's belly.
If we don't tell our children the right answers, they will find their own answers, and the answers they will find may be wrong and unhealthy.
Image source: "Where I Came From"
After the age of 6, both physical and psychological need attention
After the age of 6, until before puberty, children are ignorant and begin to actively understand sexual knowledge. This stage requires parental guidance to meet the physiological changes of later puberty.
Do a good job of "2 knowledge reserves":
1. Understand the function of physiological organs
For example, the role of physiological organs, the combination of sperm and egg, the process of pregnancy, fetal growth and other knowledge.
If parents do not tell their children this knowledge, they will also learn about it through the Internet, books, peer communication, etc., but it is not necessarily correct or not.
2. Understand the upcoming changes in the body in advance.
Before puberty, it is necessary to tell the child about the physiological changes that are about to occur in the body, so that the children have a correct understanding. Instead of making the kids feel overwhelmed.
After entering puberty, with physiological changes, children's psychology will also undergo a series of changes. At this time, in addition to the guidance of the physiological aspect, parents should also pay attention to the child's inner changes.
1. Teach children to correctly view physiological changes. Changes in the body are normal, do not feel ashamed;
2. Teach children to manage their sexual impulses. Curiosity and affection for the opposite sex are normal and beautiful emotional experiences.
3. Teach children to respect the opposite sex. Not only girls, but also boys need to be respected and protected. Giving boys the right sex education is also another kind of protection for girls.
4. Teach children to protect their own bottom line. Whoever you are, any physical touch that makes you uncomfortable should be decisively rejected, even if he is your teacher, acquaintance, or friend.
When you encounter problems that you can't cope with, tell your parents in time.
CCTV: Read these 6 books with your child
Giving children the right sex education is not only to protect the child from harm, but also to avoid hurting others.
If parents do not know how to give their children sex education, it is recommended to look at the 6 books recommended by CCTV.
There are different methods and techniques for children of different ages. Parents can read with their children, and these reading pictures will become a good memory of their children when they grow up.
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Author: Diandian Xu, Editor of the Parenting Column, focuses on parenting and child psychology research. Uncle Kai tells stories, unites 60 million families, brings good hope to parents, and allows more children to have a happy childhood. Some of the pictures are from the Internet, and the copyright belongs to the original author.