Author | Xu Diandian
On the weekend, I went to a friend's house as a guest, listened to her complain about her 3-year-old son, and couldn't help but laugh: "Probably in the rebellious period, how can I not stay idle at home, all day long to do damage, almost demolished the home ..."
For example, if you catch the paper and tear it, if the adults don't pay attention to it, the home will become like this:
For example, immersive mischief, as long as it is quiet, must be a demon:
The friend laughed bitterly and said that eight hundred times a day he wanted to beat him...
Raising children is like dismantling a blind box.
You don't know when he suddenly unlocks a new "destruction skill". But the following 4 behaviors, parents do not have to worry, it is precisely the performance of children's IQ development:
Love to tear paper
Most children will start tearing paper at 6-7 months.
Some parents will stop this behavior on the grounds that not only destroy things, but also dirty the floor. Here is a reminder: when your child is young, don't stop him from tearing up the paper!
Children at this stage not only like to tear paper themselves, but also like to watch adults tear paper.
When children find that through the movement of their small hands, they can actually change the shape of the paper and make a sound, they will feel particularly happy and happy. In the process of tearing the paper, children can experience the novelty and sense of accomplishment of controlling their own hand movements.
Do not underestimate the tearing paper, it is a fine movement, which needs to mobilize the child's hand, eye, brain three-way cooperation at the same time, which helps the child's intellectual development.
As a result, they will keep repeating this behavior and enjoy it.
Tearing paper, not the child is making trouble, it just shows that the child is in good development, hand-eye-brain coordination. Therefore, as a parent, not only can not stop, but also encourage children to fully enjoy the fun of tearing paper.
The only thing to note is that many young children will put paper in their mouths, and some paper has sharp edges, and if you are not careful, you will cut the skin.
Parents are advised to provide their children with clean, soft paper.
Love to lie
Many parents have mixed feelings when they first find out that their children are lying:
Such a small child actually began to lie, and when he grew up, he still had to?
Don't worry, the child starts lying, congratulations, it's a good thing.
The Center for Child Psychology Research at the University of Toronto in Canada once did a lying experiment. The researchers brought children of different ages into a room and asked them not to peek at the toys in the room. But when the researchers left the room, almost all the children peeked in.
But when the researchers asked:
About 30% of 2-year-olds lie;
About 50% of 3-year-olds lie;
About 80% of 4-year-olds lie;
100% of 7-year-olds lie.
Professor Li Kang, a child development psychologist, believes that:
Children who lie have superior cognitive performance compared to their peers who don't lie. Because lying often requires mind reading and control.
Therefore, when the child lies, it shows that the child's self-awareness is budding and mental thinking is developing. This is a major step forward in the growth and development of children.
And those who learn to lie earlier, relatively speaking, are because their brains develop faster.
Love to talk back
Some parents are particularly disgusted with their children's mouths, and once they find out, they are eager to suppress it immediately.
In fact, it is a good thing that children resist their mouths.
I've heard a story like this:
One winter morning, my son had to wear shorts to school. Dad said, "You have to wear long pants, I'm your dad, listen to me." ”
"Why not?"
"If you don't wear long pants, your legs will freeze."
"But this is my leg, and I don't mind if they get frozen."
The father thought about it, and the son made sense.
In life, many parents will also encounter such troubles. However, don't worry, the child's rebuttal is not disobedient, uncultured, and deliberately opposed, which just shows that he has begun to think, wants to express himself, and defend his right to speak.
Such children tend to think more actively, have better language expression skills, and will be more independent and assertive when they grow up.
As a parent, children should not be in a hurry to resist and figure out the reasons for resisting.
If the adult is wrong, apologize;
If the child is wrong, find a way to convince him.
Allowing children to speak up is also a kind of wisdom for parents.
If the child obeys the parents, it means that they will only swallow all the "unreasonable" requirements of the parents, which is not conducive to the child's own physical and mental health.
Talk
After the age of 3, the child enters the kindergarten and begins to be full of curiosity about the things around him, and he is eager to ask 100,000 whys every day.
Children love to chat, talk a lot, have a lot of questions, and are often defined by their parents as "talkative", which always feels like a bad thing.
However, the American Journal of Neuroscience published a study that showed that children in early childhood, often chatting with adults, can enhance the connection between the language areas of the brain, improve language skills, and enhance social skills, so that children tend to be smarter.
Children's language ability is not only a way of communication, but also the embodiment of individual intelligence level, which is closely related to cognition, social and emotion.
A survey of more than 40 children aged 4 to 6 in Boston by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Harvard University and the University of Pennsylvania found that the key to affecting children's brain development is not vocabulary, but the way parents communicate with their children.
The more times a child talks to his parents, the more active the language areas in his or her brain become.
Therefore, before the child is 3 years old, parents should seize the golden period of children's language development, use rich language to actively chat with children, and respond positively to children's language and behavior.
When a child is gushing, it is best not for adults to interrupt him. In daily life, you can ask children more open-ended questions by asking questions to inspire children to think independently.
There is no uniformity in the growth of children, each child has their own unique temperament, the key lies in the guidance and inspiration of parents.
If there are the above 4 kinds of children at home, do not suppress, you should steal the music~
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Author: Diandian Xu, Editor of the Parenting Column, focuses on parenting and child psychology research. Some of the pictures come from the Network, the copyright belongs to the original author, if there is a copyright problem, please contact us in time to deal with it.