If you had to use one word to describe the life of a middle-aged person, which would you use?
I think I'll use: "Dilemma".
There are old and young, and further people to middle age, whether energy or ability are limited; taking a step back is an abyss, and a little carelessness will be abandoned.
It's like climbing a mountain, almost close to the top, but you run out of strength; if you want to go down the mountain, you find it more difficult to come.
Therefore, trapped in the middle of the mountain, you can only slow down, adjust your state and then climb down; whether successful or not, there is no way back.
The life of middle-aged people is undoubtedly sad, and this kind of heartache not only comes from the outside world, but also from themselves.
-01
Middle-aged families, involuntarily
There is a question on Zhihu: how simple is it to beat a middle-aged man?
Below this question, more than 1,000 people participated in the answer, and most of them answered "disease".
As long as one of the relatives in the family is unfortunate to suffer from an illness, it is a huge burden for the whole family.
The hardest thing is not that your business fails, that you owe a bunch of money, and that you don't mix well with your peers.
Instead, when people reach middle age, their parents are sick.
Some time ago, a reader left me a message.
Male readers, just past their 40th birthday, both children have just entered junior high school, and their parents are almost 70 years old.
The family has a car and a house, the two open a snack bar, and the family still has hundreds of thousands of savings, looking very happy.
But on his 40th birthday, he learned that his father had "cancer".
So what to do?
Cure.
The family is in a small county, and the hospital in the urban area has no way to treat it, so he can only take his father to Shanghai and Beijing, and finally choose to operate in Beijing.
In a few months, it took 200,000.
What is this?
The next thing that awaited him was chemotherapy for his father, buying medicines, and all kinds of expenses added up to make him breathless.
No way, you can't always have two people anxious about this matter.
His wife went on to run a shop with two children and comfort her mother's mood; he spent most of his time running around for his father's illness.
When people reach middle age, the most feared thing is that their families get sick.
When you get to the hospital, you find that spending money is like running water.
For middle-aged people, the greatest happiness is "family safety and health".
And the middle-aged people's involuntary body also lies in this, there are old and young, and they dare not relax for a moment.
Sometimes it's not that middle-aged people don't want to stop and rest, but that the waves of life beat you forward.
-02
The marriage of middle-aged people, involuntarily
What does a middle-aged marriage look like?
It's like walking a tightrope.
Crumbling, you have to use all your strength to go down, a little careless, next to the abyss.
Many people use "a place of chicken feathers" to describe their marriage.
Back at home, there is little communication with the lover, and I want to talk to the other party patiently for a while, but I am discouraged by the sneering and bad attitude of the other party.
The only topics that can be communicated are:
"The child's grades, the child's tutoring, the child's time to go to school, the child's next plan."
For men, the happiest moment of the day, the time period that belongs to him alone, is half an hour after parking his car in the garage.
Sitting in the car listening to music, thinking of nothing, taking a break is the greatest spiritual comfort.
For women, the most enjoyable moment is chatting with friends and sharing emotions.
But neither couple has ever thought about why marriage has come to this point.
Marriage is not a graveyard of love, and what makes marriage so embarrassing is that neither person has invested enough patience and energy.
I've been saying to those readers:
When you want to give up on marriage, think about what qualities in the other person attracted you in the first place.
Don't always grasp the other person's shortcomings, try to amplify the other person's strengths.
What do you want your marriage to become, so why not try to change it?
-03
The career of middle-aged people is involuntary
There is a senior in the circle who was just dismissed some time ago.
The Internet company, which has achieved the position of project director, has an annual income of 300,000 yuan is already excellent.
However, the Internet industry is wave after wave, and the advantages of young people are always greater than those of middle-aged people.
The moment he was fired, I could feel as if he had grown old.
Decadent, lost fighting spirit, people in middle age do not look forward to the future.
Why is it said that the career of middle-aged people is full of a sense of crisis?
Compared with young people, whether it is energy, patience, creativity or adaptability, they are in a weak position.
If the only advantage is probably "experience and networking".
But in the current environment, experience is nothing, your ability is the first.
When you can't create value for each other, you are the one who has been abandoned by the times.
Carrying a mortgage, there are old and small, a little careless, may be a situation of losing everything.
In my career, although there are many unhappiness and many complaints, there is still no way to resist.
Some time ago, I saw a group of cartoons on the Internet, which roughly means:
Young people's attitude towards work is more inclined to "self", slightly dissatisfied, and immediately leave.
But middle-aged people can't, even if the boss throws the contract in your face, you have to pick it up with a smiley face.
Because losing your job means that in the next stage, the money can't keep up with the expenses, which is a rather scary thing.
Today's Topic:
What do you think are the crises of middle-aged people?
(Article with picture source network)