Many people think that divorce should be calm, because many problems are not insurmountable, but only caused by the impulse at the time.
In fact, it seems that we should be more rational before marriage than this, after all, if we had not married the wrong person in the first place, then many problems after marriage would not have happened at all.
Just as in the world famous book "Madame Bovary", the heroine Emma originally had a brilliant life, but after marriage, she went to depravity and finally had to choose suicide.
In addition to Emma's own problems, the wrong marriage is also a fuel for hastening her demise, and it is worth every woman's vigilance.
"Madame Bovary" is Flaubert's classic masterpiece, which reflects the reality of Emma's life experience and gives women profound enlightenment.
Before becoming Madame Bovary, Emma was the daughter of a farmer. Although she lived in the countryside, she enjoyed an aristocratic education, so she was not as pragmatic as her father, but more yearned for a romantic and exquisite life, and longed to have a moving love story.
When she was young, Emma often sat by the window, reading while longing to become the heroine of the book, and finally met the handsome Prince Charming.
However, life made a joke for her, and the person her father later asked her to marry not only did not have any romantic cells, but was boring and did not even arouse her own love.
If emma's longing love life should have a spring day of vitality, then the marriage in front of her is only the yellowed turf in autumn.
It is precisely for this reason that Emma is not willing to accept the status quo, and her desire for romantic love is even worse, and she eventually betrays the marriage and completely goes to the other extreme.
Emma's fall is caused by many factors, including her personality, immature three views, the temptation of others, etc., and the mismatch of marriage is the most important reason for her to fall into the abyss.
Human nature is like this, the more dissatisfied with the status quo, often the more crazy will be the pursuit of what they do not get, and eventually lose themselves in desire.
Emma is precisely because she did not have a satisfactory marriage, but talked with her husband chicken and duck, so she yearns for romantic love, even at the cost of crossing the bottom line.
It can be seen that for women, marrying the wrong person may be the source of all tragedies, and it is also the beginning of a failure in life. Even if you can't marry love, never accept someone who is completely unsuitable.
Emma can't choose, after all, she was born in an era that was not free, but we can control ourselves and solve problems from the source.
It can be known from "Madame Bovary" that before marriage, smart women will take the initiative to ask men two questions, which is the key.
01: Do you understand me?
Unlike those marriages that failed because they did not love, Emma's husband, Mr. Bovary, loved Emma deeply, and he felt that no pity for such a lovely woman was enough.
This is precisely the problem, he loves his wife, wants to give her the best of everything, but does not know that Emma wants not the best, but the most appropriate.
Emma had read poetry in front of her husband, and she thought that her husband would be moved to a mess, but Mr. Bovary did not understand it at all.
She explains the story in the book to him, fantasizing that he can be as romantic as the male protagonist, but she does not want the other party to be uninterested, let alone really understand.
From beginning to end, Emma wants her husband to be in tune with herself in her heart, a height that no external tenderness and thoughtfulness can reach, but Mr. Bovary can't do it, so Emma is becoming more and more lonely in marriage, and more and more eager for love.
If she had understood that this man did not understand himself and could not give the love he wanted, perhaps this mistake would not have happened.
Women should understand that marriage is like a partnership to do business, the important thing is not how hard the two people work, but can understand each other, two or two cooperation.
Otherwise, if you talk about the same bed and different dreams, chickens and ducks, you will eventually get more and more helpless, trapping the whole person in the cage of marriage.
02: Would you like to cooperate with me in pairs?
Emma in "Madame Bovary" longs for romance, is not willing to be ordinary, and lives like a naïve little girl, which is not wrong in itself, but the wrong thing is that she marries the complete opposite and cannot give such an ideal life.
But if she married someone who knew herself, Emma would not be so bound and desperately flee.
But if you think about it, where in this world are there two people who are completely compatible?
A woman like Emma is almost paranoid about ideals, and any flaw can be a reason for her to betray her marriage, and naturally she cannot understand the true meaning of marriage.
Two people together must understand each other, but it is impossible to be without differences. Marriage is about changing each other on the basis of fit to suit each other's rhythms.
While asking the other party to understand themselves, they must also accept the imperfections in it and strive to run into it in the long years, which is cooperation. If you cooperate well, it is difficult for a marriage to be unhappy.
After the story of Emma's betrayal of marriage, it is a tragedy caused by a woman marrying the wrong person, and she does not understand her helplessness.
In fact, to find a person who understands himself and asks the other party to cooperate with him, he must first read himself. As long as you understand your needs, you can clearly reject an inappropriate marriage.
From this point of view, each of us may be emma in Madame Bovary, and it is difficult to choose the right marriage when you know nothing about yourself.
I hope you read yourself first, and then ask men these two questions, and most people who do this will not marry wrong.
I hope you read this "Madame Bovary", the book with Emma's life tragedy, the truth of love, marriage, life to show the truth to the fullest, read this book, you understand how to choose in this life, and naturally will not repeatedly hit the wall.