1. The brother-in-law asked for a bowl of beef noodles at a noodle restaurant in the downtown area. At the checkout, the brother-in-law found that the beef noodles had risen by a full 10 yuan, and he whispered a complaint: Alas, the price has increased again. Noodle shop old

1. The brother-in-law asked for a bowl of beef noodles at a noodle restaurant in the downtown area. At the checkout, the brother-in-law found that the beef noodles had risen by a full 10 yuan, and he whispered a complaint: Alas, the price has increased again. The owner of the noodle shop hurriedly said: I can't do it, beef, noodles, and labor are all rising! The brother-in-law took the beef noodles, picked up a slice of beef and said: Boss, the level of knife skills here is also rising!

2, a young man wants to hook up with the goddess, the goddess said: "Guess the coin, guess the wrong to give me five hundred, guess what you want tonight." "The lad listened, I leaned! Such a good thing, hurriedly said: "You are about to toss a coin!" The goddess tossed the coin high and covered it, saying, "What year did this coin come from?" ”

3. After work at noon, I ate bowl noodles in the restaurant opened by the boss's relatives at the entrance of the company. At checkout, I found that the price had risen by a full 10 yuan, so I whispered a complaint: Alas, the price has increased again. The boss's relatives hurriedly said: I can't do it, beef, noodles, and artificial labor are all rising! I took the beef noodles, picked up a slice of beef and said: Boss, the level of knife skill here is also rising!

4, the girlfriend's baby is more than one year old, every day to sleep until noon to get up, I remind the girlfriend: you have to develop good habits for the child, let him go to bed early and get up early, and then read kindergarten to not be late. The girlfriend looked disgusted: You hurt me less, I can easily coax him to sleep until noon, so that I can lie in bed with a bright and upright...

5, the girlfriend took me to see her parents, the future mother-in-law asked me very directly: "Why do you want my daughter to marry you?" Me: "I could be a multimillionaire!" The future mother-in-law immediately smiled with a smile on her face: "Oh, child, come, come in and drink water, right, why do you say that it may be a multi-millionaire, yes, yes, no, what is it called may be?" I pulled out the lottery ticket: "The prize pool has accumulated to 23 million, and I don't know!" The future mother-in-law: "Roll! ”

6, the brother-in-law jumped to a listed company, the salary is more than 2 times higher than before. That day, the manager called him into the office and said, "Xiao Li, pay attention to your socks in the future." The brother-in-law looked puzzled: "Pay attention to what?" Manager: "You don't want to wear white socks on Mondays, gray socks on Tuesdays, and black socks on Wednesdays." The brother-in-law looked dazed: "Why?" Manager: "Colleagues think you don't change your socks!" ”

7. On the way to work in the morning driving a Porsche 911 to work, a colleague was walking in front of him with a limp. I hurried to catch up with the throttle and asked, "What's wrong?" The colleague said with a sad face: "Last night my wife was in a bad mood." I hugged my colleague and said, "Isn't your family status quite high?" The wife is in a bad mood and actually beats you to vent your temper. He cried directly: "No, my wife didn't beat me, but she beat up my labrador, and Labrador didn't dare to resist, and then he was in a bad mood and bit me!" ”

8, the nephew refused to eat. After repeated questioning by the sister-in-law, the nephew said, "Very full!" Help Xiao Min eat at the kindergarten at noon! She promised me a kiss! The eldest sister-in-law raised her face and said, "You are not allowed to help others eat in the future!" The nephew said helplessly, "But... I have to help her eat this month, and today I can't help but kiss more...

9, recently dad is not in good health, so he can only be well raised in the hospital, he himself stays bored, he will go from ward to ward to chat. Today the doctor came to me and said, "I'll operate on you tomorrow." I wondered: Why? Isn't it the day after tomorrow? The doctor said helplessly: After doing it, take your father back in a hurry, your father tells other patients "Ten Deadly Sins" every day, and he has scared several old men to cry!

10, last night there were students to the dormitory to sell roses, we are boys' dormitories. Student: Do you want to sell roses? Can be given to girlfriends. Roommate answer: Is it okay to give it to your boyfriend? The apprentice petrified a look of embarrassment: yes. I lay down on the bed and said: People don't want roses, people want chocolate! The apprentice is completely crazy...

11 or 5 years ago, I talked about a girlfriend, and her father didn't like me and married her far away. Today, I suddenly met her father on the street, although I hated him, but I called Uncle Sheng and handed over a root zhonghua. Her father smoked two puffs of his cigarette: You have today's success is what I did not expect, uncle regret ah! At the beginning, I calculated that your boy was a life for food, and I was afraid that Nizi would suffer, so I wouldn't let Nizi follow you. But what I never expected was that now TMD would make so much money for food!

12, five years ago, I talked about a girlfriend, and her father didn't like me and married her out of town. Today, I suddenly met her father on the street, and although I hated him, I called Uncle Sheng and handed her a genkako. Her father smoked two puffs of his cigarette: You have today's success is what I did not expect, uncle regret ah! At the beginning, I calculated that your boy was a life for food, and I was afraid that my daughter would suffer, so I would not let her follow you. But what I never expected was that I would make so much money now!

13. Some time ago, a big god brother drove Wuling Hongguang to lamborghini's 4S shop. Although it was the opening of Wuling Hongguang, the little girl who received him still received him warmly. He casually pointed to a car and asked: How much does this car cost? The sales manager ran and said: Three million! Brother: Well, I bought it, the money is in the car, you count it yourself! So the brother moved a dozen bags of sacks of steel from the car, and all the staff counted for a full ten hours before counting! Then the manager said to him: I'm sorry sir, the money is not enough, there are only two million three thousand eight hundred and six dollars here! The elder brother said in surprise: Huh? Not enough, then I don't buy it!

14, in the afternoon, my brother took a class on chemistry, and everyone had no spirit. The teacher asked: What is sodium??? The students looked at each other and were silent. At this time, the chemistry teacher was a little angry, so he raised his voice and asked: What is sodium??? Suddenly the teacher's phone rang: It was a magical road......... Since then, the chemistry teacher has never brought a mobile phone to class.

15, go to a newly opened rice noodle shop to eat rice noodles, while eating, the owner of the shop answered a phone, should be his friend called to ask how the business is? Just listen to the boss scolding and grinning: The business is cold! Grandma's, there are few people, just say now, fuck, only one SB customer is eating.