Girlfriend on a business trip, the sister-in-law came to my house, secretly stuffed me with 500, I was immediately vigilant, the bid is not low, ah, what can I do? She said, "Brother, I heard that my sister only gave you 10 yuan a day."

Girlfriend on a business trip, the sister-in-law came to my house, secretly stuffed me with 500, I was immediately vigilant, the bid is not low, ah, what can I do? She said, "Brother, I heard that my sister only gave you 10 yuan a day, which is really wronged by you, and you take this money to spend." It turned out to be because of pity for me, and at that time I got angry and said, "No, I have money, I have private money!" The sister-in-law asked curiously, "Where did you get the money, my sister so cut it?" ”

In order to show off, I said triumphantly: "To tell you the truth, I have extra money." The sister-in-law asked how much money it was, and I said at least it was over 10,000. The sister-in-law skimmed her lips and said I was bragging. Who do you look down on? I took her hand and led her to the kitchen, where I found tens of thousands of dollars from three places. My sister-in-law was calmed by me at that time, and she couldn't speak for half a day, but just when I was proud, she called my girlfriend and said, "Sister." Successful fishing, big harvest, tens of thousands of dollars. ”

When she hung up the phone, I said angrily, "Why is this happening to me?" She said, "My sister said, divide me in half!" I suddenly laughed: "You are not stupid, you want money to say it earlier, I can give you six thousand believe it or not, a thousand more than your sister's side!" The sister-in-law thought for a moment and asked, "Brother, you said that I called my sister now, and I said that I was just joking, can she believe it?" I sneered and ignored her, this girl is so stupid, I regret being naughty with her before."

1． "The sister-in-law scored 688 points in the college entrance examination, and the admission score of Tsinghua University was 687 points. At that time, I could spoil my sister-in-law and feel that my luck was too good! She happily sent a circle of friends: Haha, what luck am I, the admission line is 687 points, I just took the test 688 points! The father-in-law commented in the following seconds: Haha, good coincidence, my daughter also scored 688 points in the college entrance examination! At that time, the sister-in-law was stunned, and replied at the bottom: Dad, do you have any other daughters besides me?

2． On the first night of the wedding, the bride had already changed into a beautiful silk nightgown and lay on the bed. But an hour passed, and the groom was still well dressed and looking out the window, and the bride reminded him impatiently: "What's wrong?" He replied, "Go to sleep first!" Leave me alone, because my mom told me that tonight was the most wonderful night I could ever see, so now I don't want to waste any second of the night view. ”

3． At night, when the end of work is the peak of the ground, a couple is crowded and crowded, and finally jumps into the car a second before closing. As a result, after getting on the bus, the man turned around, the daughter-in-law disappeared, the man ran fast on the subway, and the woman was closed outside for two seconds. Then they said goodbye silently through the car window. The cold sweat on the forehead of the big brother, the washboard when going home is inevitable.......

4． On the day of adulthood, I began to look forward to what kind of birthday surprise my parents would give me early in the morning. But until ten o'clock in the evening, my parents still did not come home. So, I called my father, and I heard that the gas over there was very happy, and my father said that he and his mother were eating hot pot at my aunt's house! I said, "Why?" Dad said, "It's not your 18th birthday, let's celebrate!" ”

5． When I was in chemistry class today, the teacher asked a question, which was a multiple choice question. The table mate whispered: D. I was silent for a moment and said, "C." The teacher looked at us and then said, "It's good that Mr. Chen was able to stick to his wrong answer." After sitting down, the teacher gave us this question. After class, I asked at the same table: Why don't you believe me? I replied helplessly: I was full of crisp noodles, and as soon as I said D, it all squirted out.

6． I saw a news item on the news that on the day of the wedding, a man married a bridesmaid for the opening fee. The story is like this, the groom arrives at the bride's house at the door, the bride has to let the groom give 99999 red envelopes to come out to get married, do not give 99999 gift money will not open the door, do not get married. As a result, the groom was also grumpy and said a word: "The car is outside, and whoever wants to marry me will come out." "Then there was a bridesmaid running out and got married that day... I suspect it might have been the bridesmaid's idea.

7． A friend works in Africa, with a high salary and a good salary. It is good to have to transfer back to the original unit, even if you come back to sweep the toilet, you will not go back. Asked why, the friend said, "Brother, you don't know!" Going out at night, maybe in the dark of night, two big eyes will appear, smiling at you with white teeth, not touching, not knowing that the other party is a person! ”

8． Just when I saw the neighbor's sister-in-law training the child, I quickly asked: "Sister-in-law, what's wrong, why are you training the child?" Neighbor sister-in-law: "This child is too much!" No education! I was surprised: "How can it be excessive?" The eldest sister-in-law was still angry: "This child, you want to eat mooncakes!" I smiled and said, "Sister-in-law, as for?" If your child wants to eat a mooncake, don't you just buy it for your child? The eldest sister-in-law said angrily, "However, this child has to eat leeks and egg stuffing!" ”

9． The fisherman went to fish, and a net was thrown down, and a net full of fish was fished out. The captured barracuda asked the squid, "What are you doing, buddy, why are you smearing medicine when you are all caught?" Squid: "You don't understand, I'm smearing burn medicine, I've heard that perverted humans like teppanyaki squid." The barracuda asked the big yellow fish again: "Hey, I said big yellow fish, what are you putting on your body, how do you look so much like cosmetics?" Big Yellow Croaker: "Hey, I'm applying sunscreen, perverted humans like to eat dried yellow fish the most!" ”

10． The roommate slammed the door too hard and asked him: The dormitory is only three hundred meters away from the company, why do you ride a bicycle every day? He asked: How much is a pair of leather shoes? How much does a bicycle inner tube cost? I was speechless and asked him again: Why are you so frugal, why do you always eat 6 yuan a bowl of dumplings for lunch every day, and do not eat 5 yuan a bowl of noodles? He raised an eyebrow and asked: Sometimes there are one or two noodles hanging on the dumplings, but can the dumplings be hung on the noodles?