When my cousin was a child, he spoke late, and when he was five or six years old, he still didn't speak clearly, and adults often teased him. That year, when a neighbor's brother was admitted to Tsinghua University, the brother's father asked my cousin:

When my cousin was a child, he spoke late, and when he was five or six years old, he still didn't speak clearly, and adults often teased him. That year, when a neighbor's brother was admitted to Tsinghua University, my brother's father asked my cousin: Which university are you going to go to when you grow up? The cousin had a big chest and said angrily: I want to go to Frog University too! I haven't seen him for more than ten years, I didn't expect that now his dream has come true, he can make a lot of money raising frogs now, and when I saw him today, I was still busy in the pool...

2. A month later, the village chief found the leader and said anxiously: "The girls who came to the blind date have all run away." Leader: "Did you cross the words"? Village Chief: "Filled in." Leader: "What word to fill in"? Village Chief: "We told the truth and filled in the word 'poor'!" ”

3, there was a parrot hanging in front of the pet store, a fat woman passed by and looked at it, and the parrot said, "You look really bumpy." The woman ignored it, and the next day the woman deliberately passed by, and the parrot said, "You look really bumpy." The woman was very angry and went to the shopkeeper, who promised that it would not happen in the future. On the third day the woman passed by again, and the parrot looked at the woman and said, "I'm going to say what you know."

4, today idle nothing to go to the mall, I saw a woman to buy bags, men are too expensive. Woman: "The old lady told you that there are more people who want to buy me bags!" The man exhaled and said, "What do you look like without points in your heart?" The woman was anxious: "What do I look like, why am I like this?" The man pointed at me and said to the woman, "If you take off your makeup, it's worse than hers." ”

5. Medical school graduates go to the hospital to apply. The dean asked, "If someone has been stung by a bee on his forehead, how can he be treated?" Graduate A: "It's very simple, just apply some disinfectant to the affected area." Dean shook his head, and Graduate A withdrew. Graduate B entered, and the dean asked the same question. B answer: "At least one week of hospitalization is required, and blood, electroencephalogram, electrocardiogram, color ultrasound, and MRI are checked respectively..." Dean: "Welcome to work in our hospital!" “

6. One day, the president of a university called a certain parent: "Sir, I have good news and a bad news, both about your son." Parent: "Principal, let's talk about the bad news first!" Headmaster: "The bad news is that your son's movements are very feminine. Parent: "What about the good news?" Headmaster: "The good news is that he is now the school flower!" ”

7, yesterday a mercedes-benz E300 small three children forcibly changed lanes, smashed me a headlight also scraped the side paint, got off the car to scold, a broken treasure has only given a 200 yuan to go to repair it," I sighed and smiled and said, "The little girl quickly called your father to say that you hit the millennium collector's edition of the Jetta." As a result, she had to go back to 150 after the call."

8, Christmas, people around are not there, I just came to S City, there are no acquaintances, go for a walk alone. When I was lonely, I saw three MMs holding a stack of things in my hands, and the length was not bad. One of them smiled and walked toward me, so I didn't calm down. MM's sentence almost moved me to tears, "Give you a Christmas present" took a look at the Christian brochure. All right! After all, it is the birthday of Jesus' old man...

9, On Sunday, my brother's family of three came to my house to play, when the six-year-old nephew ate pomegranates, he said that he ate the next pomegranate seed, and my son frightened him and said: 'Pomegranate seeds will sprout in the stomach, and will grow pomegranate trees along the nose.'' So at lunch, the little nephew was able to eat for the first time, and the brother and sister-in-law could not help but sigh: "For several years, this child is picky and can't eat well, we have never seen this child so able to eat!" ‘’

10, a student complained: Principal, our canteen is too bad, the food is full of vegetables and meat. Principal: Huh? Is this true? If there is such a thing, we will deal with it strictly. The student took the principal to the canteen to check, and the principal saw a steamed radish fish and said angrily: It is also said that the canteen dish is more meaty and less, you see this fish, so much meat! Student: Principal, you see clearly, this fish is cut with carrots! headmaster......

1 friend and a nurse MM are married and I asked him: "Why do you like her?" He told me: "When I was a child, I was sick and hospitalized, and the nurse sisters always pricked me with needles. So, when I'm older, I want to tie it back..."

12. Once the essence of the low-cost attribute of the sharing economy is insightful, it is not difficult to understand why the sharing economy will increase prices. In the final analysis, the "burning money" operating model is unlikely to be maintained for a long time in any industry field. When the market moves from the fierce and chaotic original competition period to the stable profit period of several large enterprises occupying the "mountain", this practice of attracting users through subsidies has completed its mission and will naturally be abandoned by enterprises.

13, today I inadvertently learned that the goddess's uncle is the owner of the hand-grabbed cake shop that I often visit. Today as usual, I followed the goddess to the canteen to eat, you must know that I have always called the boss as the big brother, and how to hook up with the older generation! Weighing it up again and again, I also squeezed out a cute gesture: "Uncle, I also want a three-fresh." The boss looked at me and said, "Big brother, don't you break it." If I don't read your book, I'll call you uncle." "The one in line laughs! Forget it, don't eat it later!

14, daughter-in-law said: You don't understand, these little girls are from a nearby village, and they are also their sons' classmates, and many years later, it is likely that one of them will be our daughter-in-law. I couldn't help but laugh: Daughter-in-law, you are thinking too long-term. The daughter-in-law put down her work and looked at me coldly: Then you say, when we were at the same table in elementary school, which one did not have a face, always praised his mother's dishes in front of me for being fried deliciously, causing me to come to his house and rub rice several times?