My wife and I had a honeymoon and stayed in the hotel for the night to rest. The wife said, "If there is a bugging device in the room, our words will be heard by outsiders, how embarrassed." "I hurried around

My wife and I had a honeymoon and stayed in the hotel for the night to rest. The wife said, "If there is a bugging device in the room, our words will be heard by outsiders, how embarrassed." "I hurried around and found a button-sized metal object under the window, so I twisted it down hard and threw it away. The next day, the manager asked, "Did you guys have a good rest last night?" I said, "Very well, your hotel is good." Manager: "The pair downstairs is really unlucky, the chandelier on the ceiling fell off last night!" ”

2, the reporter went out at noon to find the news, met a traffic police on duty because the weather is too hot and fainted, the surrounding residents have come to help, there are fans to fan wind, water, shade. When the reporter was reporting, a boss appeared carrying an electric fan to the middle of the road step by step, probably found that there was no socket on the road, and carried the electric fan back.

3, the mother-in-law went to a foreign country to travel, leaving the father-in-law alone at home. A few days later, I watched the old man send a circle of friends: one person bought three people's dishes, can I finish eating? As soon as I saw that this was a hint to us, I took my wife with me in the evening. When he arrived, Dad nibbled on the chicken leg and opened the door: "What's the matter?" I glanced around the room and saw his two old buddies drinking and guessing boxing.

4, last night to help a beautiful woman wireless route, tossed after 12 o'clock, when she left, she actually told me that riding at night is not good, unsafe. Asked me to stay for one night! Is it ridiculous, is this despising brother's driving skills? Joke, brother's driving skills are like clouds and flowing water, how can it be unsafe!? Hop on the bus and be home in less than 10 minutes!

5, when I was a child, I liked to play with noodles... It is...... When eating noodles, pick out a long one, pinch one, and then swallow the noodles without chewing. When the noodles were confirmed to be swallowed, the hands squeezed the noodles that were still outside... And then...... And then pull it out... I especially like the touch of the noodles crossing the esophagus......... And then eat it... Later, he was discovered by his family and scolded...

6, last night to participate in the dinner results accidentally drank too much, woke up has been the next morning. When I went to the bathroom in the morning, I saw a bowl floating down the toilet. At that time, I was on fire, looking at my daughter-in-law lying on the bed: What's the matter, the bowl can be thrown into the toilet. At this time, my wife gave me a blank look and said: It was you who was drunk yesterday and lay down by the toilet to drink water, and I saw that you were too tired to drink with your hands, and I was distressed that you handed the bowl to you.

7, with the daughter-in-law and children of the quarrel, she shouted to go back to her mother's house, but more than an hour passed, did not see her carrying the suitcase out, can not help but be curious, lightly push open the bedroom door. My daughter-in-law was sitting in a daze in a hill of clothes, and I was about to speak when she was calling her girlfriend: ... Which brand of these clothes is cheaper? I want to tear up a piece and wear it back to look like I'm being abused!

8, the brother-in-law's family is only a girl, his parents have always wanted a son, and finally after the son was born, he became a meat lump in the eyes of their family! Once the grandparents went to see their grandchildren, and the grandson was lying on the table drawing. Grandpa: "Grandson, what are you painting?" It's so pretty! Sun Tzu said, "Won't you see it yourself?" What an apple tree! Grandpa: "Really?" What grows on the apple tree? Sun Tzu said with a look of disgust: "Forget it, I don't want to talk to you anymore!" ”

9, the daughter-in-law went to Shanghai on a business trip, just the sister-in-law came to my house, in the evening I asked the sister-in-law to eat spicy hot to send her to the hotel for the night. When I got home, I was stunned because my daughter-in-law was back and was sitting on the sofa in the living room! I asked my daughter-in-law, "How did you get back?" The daughter-in-law said: "If you fly back, you will go back tomorrow morning!" I wondered, "So what are you doing back for?" The daughter-in-law stared at me and said, "My sister is here, I don't feel at ease, so come back and see!" At that time, I was angry: "That's your sister, what do you have to worry about, I'm not that kind of person!" The daughter-in-law smiled: "Fart, you told me the same thing when we were in love!" ”

10, the daughter-in-law went to Shanghai on a business trip, just when the sister-in-law came to my house, I asked the sister-in-law to eat spicy hot in the evening to send her to the hotel for the night. When I got home, I was stunned because my daughter-in-law was back and was sitting on the couch in the living room. I asked my daughter-in-law, "How did you get back?" The daughter-in-law said: "If you fly back, you will go back tomorrow morning!" I wondered, "So what are you doing back for?" The daughter-in-law stared at me and said, "My sister is here, I don't feel at ease, so come back and see!" At that time, I was angry: "That's your sister, what do you have to worry about, I'm not that kind of person!" The daughter-in-law smiled: "Fart, you told me the same thing when we were in love!" ”

1 high school went out to fight, did not win, the scene of chaos school bag lost the scene... The next day, the class teacher took a student ID card and said, you can fight, you can fight or not win, but what does it mean to leave the student ID card on the spot? Tell someone I taught a bunch of unambitious students? Let me put my face in the face?

12, the boss recently found a secretary, but also specially replaced the office glass bridge with a full frosted. Since then, the secretary has been in the boss's office every day to help out. Last year, the boss lady got cancer and lay in the hospital for more than half a year, and her condition has not improved. The boss saw that the boss lady was not okay, and said: "Wife, what do you want me to do, although you say, we are husband and wife after all!" The lady boss grumbled weakly, "What else can I expect you to do?" I just beg you one thing, you just don't marry someone else within seven days of my SI! ”

13, my cousin has always been single, once complained to female colleagues: I really don't understand your girls, why don't you like straight men, but like to be with scumbags! The female colleague said casually: It's too hard to be with a straight man! Cousin: Why? The female colleague covered her face: Come to my house tonight and I will tell you! Cousin: Why are you going to your house? Can't you say it now?

14, I want to take the high-speed rail for the first time A little excited, see the sister is very beautiful, in the question of whether there is a coffee, just pretend to be very calm, want a cup, and then drink. But my sister kept standing by my side, and when I asked her what was wrong, she told me with a serious face and said, "Beauty, you haven't paid yet." I was momentarily not calm.