Officer: "Little Two, what good wine and dishes are all for the master, otherwise, be careful that I take your dog's life!" "Little two:" Yes, guest officer" Then, this little two hung up! Because of the little two

Officer: "Little Two, what good wine and dishes are all for the master, otherwise, be careful that I take your dog's life!" "Little two:" Yes, guest officer" Then, this little two hung up! Because Xiao Er gave this guest officer a plate of fine leeks!

2, the taoist followed the owner into the house, looked around, the landlord could not wait to say: "The taoist, I am a southerner, ready to settle in the north, I bought this house." However, I recently found that this house is cloudy, Sir, is this house haunted? The Dao Commander twisted his beard and said quietly, "Brother, in the north, you don't pay the heating bill in winter, this is how it feels!" ”

3, chased for a long time the sister has not agreed, today actually went to the unit to find me, downstairs chat. When my colleague saw it, he coaxed me to say that I had finally solved the problem of the old and difficult problem, and I must invite guests to dinner. At this time, the sister said, "We can't do it, I just came to him to ask about something." The colleague saw that the atmosphere was a little embarrassed and left with interest. I shrugged my head and asked, "Don't we have any hope?" The girl was anxious: "Silly you, how much does it cost to invite so many people to dinner?"

4, after dinner and husband in the park walking, there are two big sisters from next to us after the pass, the husband will unscrupulously put a long string of farts... My white husband glanced at him and asked him, why didn't you just let go? These two goods said: No matter what, I am only willing to share with you alone!

5, there is an abbot in order to become an immortal, often do some good deeds. On weekends, the abbot would go back to the river to release the fish. At that time of the release, an uncle said, "Master, you don't want to release this grass carp, you can release that kind of mullet!" The abbot wondered, "Is there any emphasis on releasing raw fish?" The uncle said generously: "Grass carp has many thorns, and my daughter-in-law is not used to eating!" ”

6, two robbers are ready to rob a tourist bus, just get on the bus two people saw the tour guide wielding a knife to the tourists said: You don't spend ten thousand yuan today, I will kill you all! Robber: Does this still make people not good to rob?

7. A female college student of Zhejiang University rides an electric vehicle on a non-motorized road. Because he looked down at his mobile phone, he bumped into a Ferrari that illegally parked a non-motorized road, resulting in a maintenance fee of 200,000 yuan! Should this girl pay for this repair?

8, go to the field business trip to return home early, suddenly heard the daughter-in-law: Xiao Li I can't do it... The driver Xiao Li responded in another room: Hurry, the opposite side is about to go up the tower, we must stop, otherwise this game will lose, we will have to fall

9, the weather is hot, easy to get sleepy, eat on the sofa for a while. It didn't take long to feel hot like passing through a mountain of flames, and when I opened my eyes, I was covered with a down jacket that my daughter-in-law took out to dry. At this time, the 3-year-old daughter saw that I woke up and ran over and said: Daddy, Daddy, I see you are asleep to cover you, am I your intimate little cotton jacket? I'm angry and funny! Tell yourself that this is biological! Biological! ......

10, a rich woman and husband have been married for four years without children, they did not dip water three days in advance, and came to the monastery step by step to ask for a son! The abbot was touched by their sincerity and was about to pray for their blessings when the dogs from the temple came in! The abbot threw it out, and after a while it came again, and the abbot did not hurry. Look what it wants to do, this goods, walk that sniff, go to the rich woman's side, the rich woman is too frightened to jump and dare not move, only to see the dog stretch out its paws in the rich woman's bag, turn out a meat sandwich steamed bun, and then hold the meat sandwich bun slowly and slowly walk.

1 in the company, sent two boxes of tempeh canned mud carp to the supervisor, the top is in English, the supervisor is afraid of expiration, take a photo and send it to the group, to see if there is anyone who can understand. Finally, a classmate of the supervisor replied: This can is no problem, you can eat it with confidence! Just now, I heard the supervisor scolding in the toilet: Where did you learn English, I pulled it 3 times...

12, yesterday to go to the foot massage, is a look seventeen or eighteen little girl to help me press, just came up on the nose pumping, after a while began to shed tears, I saw the heart is not very tasteful, lament the ruthlessness of this society, so small to come out to work, so I chose to add another clock, the little girl cried louder, I think it is because of the touch.

13 My wife has six cousins and three younger brothers, three of whom are active in service and one of whom is discharged from the army. The first time I went to her house, a few brothers-in-law came to get off The Way. This said, come, are all soldiers, did this cup. The one who said, Come, I heard that you were a soldier, did this cup. Oh, pour me in. I was also filled with urgent eyes, clicked open a bottle of liquor and said, I am not vain, my relationship with Xiaoxue is in the wine, you look, I salute you a few, knock knock I dry, instantly shocked a few. Later I vomited, do you think it is easy for me to marry a wife? It's like fighting a war!

14 My wife has six cousins and one younger brother, three of whom are active in service and one is discharged from the army. The first time I went to her house, a few brothers-in-law came to get off The Way. This said, come, are all soldiers, did this cup. The one who said, Come, I heard that you were a soldier, did this cup. Oh, pour me in. I was also filled with anxious eyes, clicked open a bottle of liquor and said, I am not vain, my relationship with Xiaoxue is in the wine, you look, I salute you a few, bang bang I will dry. In an instant, several of them were shocked. Later I vomited, you said it was easy for me to marry a wife! It's like fighting a war!