1. Blind date, the woman is very good, asked how to come, the man came by bus. F: I'm an electric car. After eating and not allowing delivery, we finally met in the parking lot, the female A6, the male X5. Right

1. Blind date, the woman is very good, asked how to come, the man came by bus. F: I'm an electric car. After eating and not allowing delivery, we finally met in the parking lot, the female A6, the male X5. They smiled at each other and then went home separately, only to meet in the afternoon at the taxi company. The man felt embarrassed about things during the day and wanted to go out to relax at night, only to see her again at the bathing center, and the man happened to bump into her.

2. At night, I met a woman who hitchhiked, she took the initiative to sit in the co-pilot, I said: "Get out of the car, sit in the back seat!" The woman was stunned for a moment, got out of the car and sat back in the back seat, and said breathlessly: "Brother, what are you afraid of?" I'm not afraid! I said, "To be on the safe side, you're still sitting in the back row." Then I asked her where she was going and she said, "I lived in the Botanical Garden when I was alive!" I was finished with fright, my hands kept shaking, and I weakly asked, "Where are you going now?" If you don't let you go, I'm afraid I won't be able to go to that place where you live now! The woman said, "Brother, I'm all up there, one foot on the throttle thing!" "I'm getting more and more scared, it's for me to bump into it." I said, "I have the old ones on the top and the small ones on the bottom, you raise your hands high, let me go, I'll go back and burn some money for you!" The woman suddenly became angry and said, "Brother, what do you mean, saying that these messes, I lived in the botanical garden before I gave birth, and now I am in the Stone Drum Garden." I was relieved and bold, and said breathlessly, "Go down, I have a problem, I can't send you!" "Sample, most of the night deliberately scare me, I don't pull you yet." She suddenly sneered, "Brother, are you sure you don't pull me anymore, do you know where I live in Shigu Garden?" That grove you know no, there's a monument, there's one mine, and it's right in front of my house. I hurriedly said, "Wait, deliver it right away, you sit still and don't move!" "Speaking of going, it's still that thing, I can't be bothered, I quickly sent it to the Stone Drum Garden, when I got off the bus, the woman threw me fifty yuan, I don't want it, she had to give it, I had to take it with my hands." Then I stared at the paper to see how long it would take to change paper money. Half a year, it has not changed, you say this money can not be used?

3. The sister-in-law is about to give birth, the contractions are crazy, and the wife whispers in her ear: Sister, relax! Before I gave birth to a child, I was in severe pain, so I scolded your brother-in-law bastard Wang Baguo, hating your brother-in-law who was stabbed with a thousand knives, and could be much more comfortable. The sister-in-law ripped open her throat and came: Brother-in-law! You bastard, sister... husband! ... You're a knife," ah... Brother-in-law you king... Eight... egg! Fortunately, I was not there, and the sister-in-law in the ward, her husband, in-laws, nurses, and other pregnant women were stunned!

4. In my freshman year, my buddies started chasing school flowers, and it's been almost five years now. During the confession several times, the school flower did not agree, saying that the buddies were naïve. Tonight, the four of us were drinking, and he was very drunk and was going to go to the school flower to confess. When I arrived at the door of the school flower, I confessed to the school flower, and the school flower smiled and agreed. Then the buddy actually said: We have found the wrong person, she will not agree with me...

5. I went out to dinner in the evening with my classmates from college, and we had some drinks because we hadn't seen each other for a long time. He said to me with a big tongue: "Brother, there is something I have always wanted to tell you, we are about to graduate from college, there is a girl who likes you, secretly asked me to tell you, as long as you agree to buy you a Porsche 911, but I forgot to tell you." "Forgot? You're making me sober up, aren't you? I've been working for 3 years!

6. My son provoked me and pulled me to beat him, so he went to his father and accused me of bullying him. Just when my husband went to the toilet, he couldn't find his father everywhere, and asked me if I would ignore him. Finally the child said in a loud voice, "Where has your husband gone?" He doesn't want you anymore and goes to the supermarket to buy a wife! ”

7. After graduating from junior high school, I went to Hainan University to work as a security guard. On my first day on work, I fell in love with our school's three-time divorced school principal. After work last night, I asked the headmistress to dinner at a fancy restaurant. The headmistress looked at the food on the table and said to me: In the face of food, I will always become very simple. I wondered: How simple? The headmistress said leisurely: In my eyes, they are only divided into what can be eaten and what cannot be eaten.

8. Went downstairs today to eat beef powder, because I was sick, I didn't eat much. The young man who sold beef powder was particularly enthusiastic: "Look at you are a handsome guy, preferential - money." I replied with a thank you, and when I left, I felt that I was too serious today, so I turned back and jokingly added: "Liars will go to hell." The young man stopped what he was doing, stunned, and who could tell me what the fear of death was on his face.

9. Teacher: Xiaoming, take a look at my office after school! After school, Xiaoming went, after discussing the results for a while, the teacher drove away, Xiaoming wanted to politely say to the teacher: Teacher, you should be careful. The result is: Teacher, you tell me to be careful!

10. This time I finally asked out the goddess who had been in love for a long time. The goddess child said shyly: There is something I must tell you! I look forward to saying: you say! Goddess: You are my only one! I was immediately overjoyed: Really... Are you sure? Goddess: Well, you're the only one on my blacklist, don't contact me again! I:......