1, accidentally bumped into the chest of a beautiful woman, I did not care, turned to leave, but she was angry, pulled me and asked me to apologize. I said I had never apologized in my life, to you and me

1, accidentally bumped into the chest of a beautiful woman, I did not care, turned to leave, but she was angry, pulled me and asked me to apologize. I said that I have never apologized in my life, and I can't make an exception for you, although you are beautiful, your figure is good, your temperament is outstanding, and your dress also amazes me, but I will never apologize to you. She said fiercely, slippery tongue, you bumped into me and want to leave, that is impossible, you don't apologize, I will not let you go. I sighed, threw a bank card to her, and proudly said, there are three hundred thousand in it, you take it. She was pleasantly surprised to be my girlfriend, I quickly got rid of her, joking, there are only two cents in the bank card, I dare not continue to tangle with her!

2. My sister-in-law has been learning to descend at The Shalin Temple since childhood, and the dragon is eighteen palms, so my brother is very afraid of her. On this day, my sister-in-law went shopping and bought a new set of clothes for my brother, and my brother was very happy and put them on and went to work. As a result, he came back less than ten minutes after going out, and his knee was broken. My sister-in-law was furious: The clothes you just bought were torn within ten minutes of putting them on? My brother said aggrievedly: Sorry wife, it is too late to take off when you fall!?

3. It was about to hold a welcome party, the teacher asked me to clean the school prop room, I accidentally broke a few wooden boards in the corner. I had to go to the construction site and find a few similar planks to put back. That night, there was an orientation party, and a certain club in the school performed hand splitting the wooden board, and I watched the student's hands bleed, and the wooden board was fine. He shouted and kicked again... When he limped down, the planks were not damaged in the slightest...

4. After graduating from college, I became a nurse in our hospital. Recently there are more patients, so I am a little haggard, this day small fresh meat to inject, very polite to say: Auntie is good. I didn't care much about this, but I was deflected when I was injected, and I was anxious and deflected. I thought to myself: Brother, I didn't mean it, don't call Auntie next time.

5, it is about to enter winter, the weather is cold, a farmer grandfather wants to bring the chicken from the family to boil soup to drink. In the evening, when the old man fed the chickens, he said: Eat quickly, this is your last meal. The next day, I opened the window and saw that the chicken was lying on the ground dead. And left a suicide note: I have taken rat poison, you don't want to eat me, I am not easy to mess with.

6. The rich second generation girlfriend found a poor boy in the countryside, and the two were about to get married. With tears in his eyes, his girlfriend's father gave her a passbook and told her it was a dowry. The girlfriend opened it curiously, and jumped up in surprise after seeing the 8-digit number above. She put her arms around me and said, "Haha, I'm rich too!" I invite you to eat your favorite roast duck! I gave her a blank look and said: Really no show, rich people will invite me to eat this? Girlfriend: Well, I invite you to eat 5 roast ducks!

7. The brother-in-law has been single for five years after divorce, and he is very surnamed Fen when he comes home on this day. He said to me, "Today I saw a beautiful woman, big eyes, round face, snow-white skin, a few faint little freckles that made her look more lovely and moving, she was so beautiful." My son said to his drunken brother-in-law, "I know, this is a white-faced black sesame pancake." ”

8, overtime to very late, driving a beautiful colleague home, in an old community gate I parked the car: "Just send you here, I will not go in." She leaned over and leaned over to my ear and said, "You can drive me in, and you can go up and sit down." I decisively refused. Looking at the distant back of my colleagues, I thought to myself: "Alas, if I had practiced subject two well in the driver's license, I don't have to be afraid of not coming out of the car now!" "

9, cousin since buying an Audi often in the circle of friends to dry, brush the car to dry, the ex-girlfriend in a breath to block him. As a result, the cousin actually sent a photo of his ex-girlfriend, his car, and asked the ex-girlfriend if she saw it? The ex-girlfriend asked the ex-girlfriend opposite the director, what is the psychology of this person who shows up with his girlfriend like this? Their director said: There may be two reasons, the first is that you did not like it. Second, has he ever chased you before? Ex-girlfriend: Director, are you studying psychology, you said that these two are all in ah!

10, the 88-inch LCD TV in the rich merchant's manor is not lit, he wants to throw it away. The nanny saw that the rich merchant had given it to her, and the rich man asked: Do you still watch TV? The babysitter said: Don't watch, but you have to put one is not, otherwise everyone will come and ask you why there is no TV set in your house? I'm bored to death when I ask. The rich merchant thought about it, or put it in the manor as a decoration!

11. The father-in-law was killed by a tractor in a car accident last year, and now the family has a mother-in-law and a sister-in-law who is in high school. Today I bought some gifts to visit my mother-in-law, and it happened that my sister-in-law did not go to school during the holidays. The sister-in-law asked her mother-in-law to help her find pajamas, saying that the pajamas on her body were too short and leaky. The mother-in-law smiled and said: It's all right, your brother-in-law is not an outsider. Oh I go, 500,000 bride price is not in vain, there is such a mother-in-law is really happy!!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #