My little sister is at home during the summer vacation and plays with my son at home every day. Yesterday she went out to climb the mountain and came home in the early hours of the morning. When she got home, she wanted to drink water, but she was too tired to lie in the living room and fall asleep. small

My little sister is at home during the summer vacation and plays with my son at home every day. Yesterday she went out to climb the mountain and came home in the early hours of the morning. When she got home, she wanted to drink water, but she was too tired to lie in the living room and fall asleep. The little sister will snore as soon as she drinks too much and sleeps. After a while, the five-year-old son was awakened by the purring of the little sister, wearing a towel on his head, holding a toy sword in his right hand, and holding a wind chime in his left hand, and shouting at the little sister: Hurry up as the law, where is the pig demon, quickly quit my aunt's body!

2, the aunt's right leg broke, the doctor said: the injured leg does not move for a long time, the muscles will atrophy, the legs will become thinner..., a month later, I advised the sister-in-law lying on the bed to exercise, otherwise the muscles atrophy, the aunt listened, sad to tears. Me: It doesn't hurt much now, just practice. The sister-in-law stubbornly shook her head: Don't exercise, I wish my legs were thinner. I knew that both legs were broken...

3, because the total mcDonald's, so and the takeaway brother is particularly cooked. Today, I ordered an outgoing delivery, and my roommate who lived with me booked A KFC, and the two deliveries arrived together. When the door opened, the McDonald's brother looked surprised... After rubbing for half a day and waiting for the KFC brother to go first, the McDonald's brother was particularly unhappy and arrogant and said: "No, you will only allow me in the future." "A sense of superiority in the flap suddenly emerged...

4, just bought a set of blank houses, three rooms and a hall, in the decoration, just called the wife to keep an eye on the worker. After a few days, the wife suddenly cried, asked what was wrong and refused to say, and gave me a hurry, and finally the wife wrote an "empty" word on the coffee table, and she cried again. What's going on here? Is it because the place where I bought the house is not big enough?

5, this afternoon to go on a blind date, the girl who came from the blind date looks very temperamental and fairy, she asked me: "Have you bought a house?" Me: "I'm going to buy a house next month." She: "Can you write me one of the two names for buying a house?" Me: "Yes!" She happily called her mother: "Mom, he agreed to write my name, the other name do you want me to write Daddy's name or write your name?"

6. Tsinghua University has a pair of divine eagle heroes that everyone envies, and after graduation, girls are going to study in the past. The girl blushed and said: I want to go abroad for five years, let's break up. The boy held back tears and wrote a note to the girl, saying: If you are willing to wait for me, open this note in five years. The girl was moved to tears, and secretly promised to be single for five years. But five years later, when the girl was still single, she opened the note and burst into tears, which read: Brain! Crippled, tease you to play it too!

7, I was in elementary school in class love to sleep, a Chinese class teacher assigned homework, write an essay, the topic is (if I am a spider), after class asked the classmates. I racked my brains at home at night and wrote one (if I were a pig). Later I was on fire at school.

8, funny jokes heartache encyclopedia, accompany the wife shopping for clothes, a hand carry a lot of things, the wife said painfully: "One hand don't mention so many things, it feels like I bully you." "My heart is warm and I am about to say baby I am not tired. The two goods immediately said, "You two hands." ", has been removed from the shelves P9 cotton clothes women 2019 new Korean version of winter long cotton clothes color thick slim slim bread cotton jacket women's clothing outside ¥21600 coupons minus 800 yuan, buy

9, the company has a goddess, there is a boyfriend, but I still secretly send qiu bo to her. When I arrived at the company today, I found her lying on her desk sobbing. I asked her what was wrong, and she choked up and said she was out of love. I felt a secret joy in my heart, patted her shoulder and comforted: "What is sad about this, there are many good men, maybe there are better choices around." "But what about the child in my belly?" How can I take advantage of such a weak and pregnant girl? Thinking of this, I withdrew my hand without leaving a trace.

10, my husband played a game for a day, talking to him also ignored it, I carried my bag and packed up some things to go out, he saw rushing over and hugged me and said, Wife, I was wrong, don't go. My heart was warm, he still cared about me. I said I wasn't going, I was just going shopping. He hugged him tighter and said, I know, so... Don't go!

1 Who says I don't understand? I am a part-time worker, I work in the organic vegetable greenhouse in Xiashan Mountain, the greatest joy of the workers, is to see the tomatoes they grow grow more and more decent, there is an indescribable sense of accomplishment in the heart, especially when someone tastes it and praises the deliciousness, at that time the small pride in the heart is not something that can be described by pen and ink!

12. After work at night, I asked my daughter, "What about your father and sister-in-law?" Daughter: "They are in the house, Daddy wants to take off Auntie's skirt, Auntie doesn't want to, Daddy has to take it off, you can take a look!" I was shocked and quickly kicked open the bedroom door, which was empty. The daughter pointed to the kitchen: "There! "I ran to the kitchen with lightning speed and was about to get angry. I saw my husband pulling on my sister's apron and saying, "Quick, take off the apron, in our house, how can I let you cook!" ”...

13, on the weekend, my husband played games at home, and he didn't care to talk to him, so I picked up my bag and packed up some things to go out. He saw him rushing over and hugging me and saying, "Wife, I was wrong, don't go." My heart was warm, he still cared about me. I said: I don't go, I just go shopping. He hugged him tighter and said: I know, don't go!

14, my sister has a boyfriend in diplomacy, last year's Spring Festival said to take home, that day I went to do farm work at noon to come home, dirty, sitting at the door frowning and smoking a cigarette... At this time, my sister arrived home, the size of the luggage pushed, I: "Yo, there are many lively people in the house!" I didn't expect my sister's boyfriend to see my humorous sentence: "Dad, did you have lunch?" ”