1. A farmer enters the city and sees a billboard that reads: Apple discount price 4688! The old man was shocked and thought: Who ate it? Then walking forward, I saw a billboard that said, Xiaomi Mi 2399, the old man thought: Eighty percent are liars! I saw a sign that read: Little Pepper only 998! The old farmer couldn't help it, and picked up the mobile phone to call his son: "Baby! Don't work, go home and farm, hey this is going to be sent! ”
2. When I was delivering takeaways out of town last year, I liked a beef noodle restaurant, which was very delicious, so I ate lunch and dinner there for a year and a half. Later, it became more and more familiar, and every time I went, I didn't need to say, I directly served a large bowl of beef noodles and a whole green onion. After so many years, I really miss his twin sisters, who are only 1 year younger than me!
3. Cleaned up a dance room at home and was seen by my in-laws while practicing pole dancing! The mother-in-law said: "Daughter-in-law, I also want to lose weight, can I learn pole dancing with you?" Before I could speak, my father-in-law said, "I'll check the Internet first!" "I approached my father-in-law and saw him typing in his mobile phone, can the pole dance of steel pipes withstand 180 pounds of weight? Then I was looking: How much does it cost to break one?
4. At this time, other colleagues saw it, thought it was my girlfriend who came to me, and coaxed me to say: Brother, you have found a girlfriend, tonight you must invite us to dinner. The girl said, "I'm not her girlfriend, and we're out of the question, so I came to him to ask about something." After the colleague listened, he left in embarrassment. I asked disappointedly, "Don't we have any hope?" The girl knocked on my head and said: Why are you so stupid, how much does it cost to ask so many people, we have to save the money and keep it to buy a house." We? I was suddenly a little confused, she said whether this is accepting me or not. As a result, the next day, the salary that had been delayed for half a year arrived!
5. Today the sun really hit the west side out, and the ex-girlfriend who broke up for three years suddenly called me. Excitedly, I picked up my phone and asked, trembling, "What's wrong?" She said somewhat weakly, "I have a fever." I asked eagerly, "How many degrees?" She said, "40 degrees!" "I thought about it, 40 degrees is very serious, I want to praise her."
6. Dad made 1.8 million yuan after being laid off at home and researched stock speculation, and planned to buy a Lexus 570. Mom disagreed and had a big fight with Dad. My five-year-old brother and I didn't dare to persuade me to look at it, and the two of them scolded me sentence by sentence. Suddenly, when my mother was about to scold my father, my words were poor for a while. My brother looked at my mother and said, "Mom, hurry up, it's your turn!"
7. The son is playing a little crazy, and the wife in the middle of the night is not willing to go to sleep. The wife was angry, and it was a fat beating to catch her son, which was good, honestly lying on the window, crying and not daring to cry. After my wife came out for a while, I wanted to go inside and see and cover the quilt. Just walked to the window, the son suddenly opened his eyes, looked at me with a straight hook, and said: Dad, you don't care about your daughter-in-law, don't hit the house for three days, today it's me, next time it's not necessarily who it is, you look at it!
8. The mother-in-law is a class teacher in Maotanchang Middle School, with a monthly salary of 25,000 yuan. In that class, the mother-in-law gave the students a math problem and said: "Whoever can answer it, it will be out of class," and no one below stood up and answered. Still no one answered, and the father-in-law increased his chips: "If anyone dares to stand up and ask for a solution, we will leave school." At this time, a student stood up, bravely walked to his mother-in-law and said, "Sister, please!" Mother-in-law: "Everyone is out of school, you leave me." ”
9. When I was a child, I used to fight with others, because I was too small to always fight, so I always started first, and when I finished fighting, I ran. That's why I still beat people first and often ask my parents. In order to teach me a lesson, my father stopped my pocket money, including the bus fare, so he had to run to and from school every day. After a while, the people who fought with me said, "This boy seems to be shooting harder now, and he can run faster when he fights." ”
10. It is said that the character of the child follows the parents, and there is some truth to this. I'm the grumpy type that fights without a word. Because of this, I often run into trouble, and the class teacher often visits the home to complain. One day, the female class teacher visited her home again, and I found the opportunity to call my mother and said: Mom, you are coming back, my father and a woman are intimate at our house! After the mother picked up the phone, she rushed home and grabbed the class teacher's hair and beat him violently!
11. Yesterday I had a fight with my wife, and I yelled at her twice, and then she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said quietly: Remember the day we went on a blind date? It's also sunny... As soon as I heard it, my heart softened, and just as I sighed, her face became vicious: I really hate this sun, and that day I shook my eyes and made me look at you! Is it okay to scold people not to be so literary? #Funny Moment #Funny Funny Paragraph ##搞笑幽默趣闻 #
![Zhang Linyan "Small, Big Energy" Topic 3 (Part II): 21-year-old Zhang Linyan, now you look at the interview about her, it is really very stable. Don't look at her as the youngest ball in the women's soccer team[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)