1, the company has a new young woman, good figure, beautiful looks, full of charm, I heard that the divorce was not long ago. I took a fancy to her at first sight, and after three weeks of chasing her, she finally agreed to be me

1, the company has a new young woman, good figure, beautiful looks, full of charm, I heard that the divorce was not long ago. I took a fancy to her at first sight, chased her for three weeks, and she finally agreed to be my girlfriend. Yesterday and my girlfriend went shopping, on the road met a man, looking very obscene, he stared at us both, saw his dirty eyes, I was suddenly angry, shouted at him, look at your sister! Unexpectedly, at this time, a scene against the sky appeared, and my girlfriend's eyes lit up and she shouted: Brother! How do you come shopping, my God, it turned out to be her old brother, this is really a big water washed away the Dragon King Temple, my face brushed red, my girlfriend's brother patted me on the shoulder, smiled and said, to their girlfriend so tight, good, I appreciate you! After saying goodbye to her, when I got to my house, I watched horror movies with my proposed girlfriend, and of course I was happy to watch horror movies with her. A film has not been finished, bang bang, heard someone knocking on the door, a look at the girlfriend girlfriend, I called her to watch a horror movie with us, after the movie, her girlfriend paled and said that she was scared to see it, tonight I must have my girlfriend sleep with her. I sighed, I am doing my own evil, I can't live! Hang as high as Haman!

2. During the Chinese New Year, I went back to my hometown in northeast China with my husband. Once, my husband and father-in-law went to their hometown to visit relatives, and I accompanied my mother-in-law to go shopping at RT-Mart. At checkout, it was $80 and $30. Because I have a harmonious relationship with my mother-in-law and have never disagreed on money, I am naturally ready to pay! Just about to pay the money, the mother-in-law shouted: "I am me, I have, I have, I have 3 mao..."

3, before I got off work, I received a call from my brother-in-law, saying that he had taken 50 bottles of Bullpen Mountain, and I was not drunk. I saw my brother-in-law's displeasure and asked, "Brother, what's wrong with this?" The brother-in-law said: You don't know? The iPhone 12 is about to be released. I asked, "What does that have to do with you?" The brother-in-law said: Of course, there is a relationship, from today onwards, I want to be obedient to my wife, otherwise she will find any opportunity to drop the iPhone11 in her hand!

4, see a master to pay the electricity bill, the staff to see the uncle fee is very low, curious to ask: why are you so little home appliances? Uncle said triumphantly: Because I have a trick! The staff wondered: you don't watch TV? Don't boil water without air conditioning? Uncle shook his head and whispered: "Visit the door at night!" After watching TV and drinking tea, I also saved air conditioning, and I was lucky enough to drink a few cups! The staff laughed: Then you can't go to people's homes every day? Uncle said mysteriously: Relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbors, take turns to line up the number cycle again and again...

5, I grew up eating small, grow very thin. Yesterday I went to the canteen with the fat man of the unit to eat, and the fat man took a look at it and asked, "Eat so little, no wonder it's thin." I replied amusedly, "To stay in shape." I glanced at his meal and asked him, "Why do you still eat so much?" Unexpectedly, he replied to me coldly: "The purpose is the same as yours, in order to stay in shape." ”

6, the sister-in-law is a delivery man, every time she comes to my house, she wears overalls. Once she changed into her clothes and greeted me with delicate makeup on her face. I was stunned for a moment before I recognized it, and I wanted to say that I almost didn't recognize it after changing my clothes. As a result, my brain twitched and said: You almost didn't recognize it when you put on your clothes! My wife's face was cloudy after listening to it!

7, good buddy has a Longines watch, he is a little nervous these days to sell the watch to me. The original price of the watch was more than 6,000 yuan, and it was sold to me for 3,000 yuan. I looked at it, the watch was very good, the price was also appropriate, so I bought it. As a result, a few days later, he actually went back with me, saying that his girlfriend did not agree, even if the money was borrowed from me, it would be repaid to me in a few days. Later, I overheard that this goods used this watch to make up enough for the down payment to buy a house...?

8, the little uncle took the bus to go to school, wiped his pockets and threw a round thing into it. The driver yelled, "Boy, what did you lose?" The little uncle said impatiently, "Money! Driver: "Bullshit money, you lost not even game currency, it's a white thing!" The little uncle laughed awkwardly: "I said, it's the calcium tablets that my mother gave me in the morning, I didn't want to eat it, let it go!" Then, the little uncle took out all the pockets on his body and said, "Come, give you 5 cents, give you a 50% discount!" ”

9. My parents are very concerned about my marriage and ask the daughters-in-law I marry to be satisfied, so every time I go on a blind date, my parents follow. Today's blind date, my parents and I went together, the girl and her mother together. The girl was beautiful, her mother was beautiful, and the father said, "Son, that's it." Mom: "Do you want to have one of you two?" Dad said in passing, "That would be perfect." "Needless to say, I'm going to visit Dad in the hospital...?"

10. I live in Bada Hutong in Beijing, and although some people are dressed badly, they may actually be invisible super-rich. There is an old lady in our alley, who usually picks up rags and sells them for money. There were too many things to pick up on this day, and she really couldn't pull it, so she called her son to pull it. Watching his son drive the Range Rover, and that helpless expression, I wonder why I want to cry and laugh...?

11. The boss arranged for me and three female colleagues to go on a business trip, take a taxi to the train station, and waved while looking down at the mobile phone. Suddenly a car stopped, and the glass slowly descended, revealing a beautiful woman. I wondered how the taxi driver's appearance had become so high. The female driver said: Handsome man, my car is so like a taxi? Where are you going? I'll take you along the way. I thought to myself, the more beautiful a woman is, the easier it is to lie, decisively refuse, leaving only a dashing back!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #