My hometown is in the countryside, but I am fortunate to have been born in an intellectual family, known as Shuxiang Mendi, so the situation as a girl is still better, but the whole society values sons over daughters

My hometown is in the countryside, but I am very lucky, born in an intellectual family, known as Shuxiang Mendi, so the situation as a girl is still better, but the concept of son preference in the whole society is deeply rooted, the invisible forces are strong, and the living space of girls is very narrow, which is very natural. As a child, I was often confused when I saw the tragic fate of the women around me.

The Ge family is a large family, each branch living in two or three villages. The ancestors had been born in Hanlin, and the great-grandfather Ge Guoliang was called Wenhan and had the title of "Xianliang Fangzheng". Grandfather Ge Yindong Jingtang, is the last generation of Xiucai, belongs to the cattle, the birthday is May 29, and he should be 135 years old now. The Ge family has been teaching for generations. Of the eight great-grandfather cousins, my great-grandfather had two sons and my grandfather had a son and a daughter. Although the second uncle had five sons, the third uncle died early, leaving a young son; the fourth uncle died early, leaving a daughter; the fifth uncle had a daughter; the sixth uncle had no children; the younger uncle died at the age of three, so the second grandfather had only one grandson. Of the great-grandfather's cousins, only seven great-grandfathers had sons, and the other great-grandfathers died prematurely, leaving widows to face life alone. The son of the seventh great-grandfather, the daughter-in-law, is also my fifth grandmother. Therefore, when the fifth grandmother had a son, she became the heir apparent to the hope and contention of several great-grandmothers. Grandma Wu's patriarchal thinking reached the point of cruelty and ruthlessness, which simply made me tremble with fear.

1. Unfortunate babies

Grandma Five gave birth to a girl, and Grandma asked me to send Brown Sugar and Sesame Seeds to Grandma Five. I entered Grandma Five's house, and her sister-in-law was picking up the baby and preparing for Grandma Five to feed the baby. Who knew that the fifth grandmother took the baby and threw it at the kangtou, just like throwing out a piece of wood, and the baby let out a scream, sharp and miserable, like the wailing of a kitten that had been trampled to death. I was shocked, and the brown sugar and sesame seeds in my hand were scattered on the ground. The aunt hurriedly climbed on the kang to pick up the baby, only to see the poor little thing's lips one by one struggling to breathe, and it took a lot of work to have a faint cry, and the aunt persuaded her sister-in-law with kind words.

"Give your child a mouthful of milk!" Good villains are also small lives. ”

Grandma Five said fiercely: "Little girl, what is the use of her?" Growing up is also a burden, it is better to let her die early. ”

Biological mother, why is she so cruel?

I looked at the innocent baby, with good facial features and a cute little face. Grandma fed her water with her mouth, and gradually she opened her eyes, beautiful. She had just come to the world, she did not know her fate, her own mother did not want her to live, poor little girl, she did not understand sadness and sadness, pain and hunger but tormented her, not even the strength to cry. Will she starve to death?

I turned and left this terrible place, not even picking up the brown sugar and sesame seeds scattered on the ground, and ran home in one breath and threw myself into my grandmother's arms, and cried loudly.

Grandma wiped my tears from my eyes and asked, "What's wrong?" Who bullied you? ”

I whimpered and said, "Grandma Five is so cruel that she starves her daughter to death." ”

Grandma sighed and said to herself, "It's hard for her, several aunts are waiting to have a son with her!" ”

I said indignantly: "When that little girl was born, everyone bullied and insulted her, and her mother didn't hold her, and they threw her on the kang fiercely. ”

Grandma stroked my head and said helplessly: "A woman's lifelong road is like walking on a single wooden bridge in a mountain stream. How many of the tens of millions of people are not guilty? Let's just say that in our family, young and old, you count and see. "But no, great-grandmothers, aunts, several widows, hiding in the house for many years without leaving the house, in addition to doing needlework, that is, spinning, weaving, every New Year's Festival, they do not dare to appear in front of people, ancestors can not participate in the tomb sweep, all seasons wear a black pants, until black hair becomes white hair is so." They are still lucky, they are not beaten and scolded, and they are hungry and frozen. The women of poor families are even more miserable, not enough to eat, clothe, warm, hard work, hard work, and child care, until death there is no day to relax.

I wrote about this experience and feeling in my novel Blue-winged Bird:

Grandma led her granddaughter through the door... The hall was old and dark, and next to the bulky Eight Immortals table sat a skinny little old man, smoking with a hookah, and on the chairs on either side sat six old women, all of whom were grandmother's widows and aunts, like wood carved clay sculptures.

Grandma asked her uncle for good, knelt down and prostrated her head, put on the new clothes she had made in both hands, and performed a filial piety for her husband.

Uncle and great-grandfather sighed, and said in a desolate voice: "No filial piety has three, and no queen is greater." Without a stepchild, how can I go to see my ancestors after I die? ”

Uncles and great-grandmothers all bowed their heads, as if they had made some unforgivable mistake, with a look of guilt and fear.

My uncle and great-grandfather snapped, "I don't have a son, I don't have a grandson, don't you even give me a stepwright grandson, let me go into the coffin with my heart?" ”

Grandma said softly: "Uncle and father-in-law take care of more, your old man's wish, niece and daughter-in-law have always remembered in their hearts." ”

Uncle and great-grandfather staggered into the back room. Uncles and great-grandmothers stepped forward in unison, each pulling out a few dollars from them. Grandma refused to accept the money, and said respectfully and resolutely: "Aunts and aunts have been widows all their lives, and it is not easy to save a few dollars, and I must not ask for it." I only pray that my aunts have the needlework that they should do to me, so that I can feel at ease. ”

Grandma walked out of the gate with tears in her eyes, like a dead tree trembling in the wind, under great pressure. She looked at her little granddaughter and said to herself, "Alas! How nice it would be if you were a boy! ”

Generation after generation of women, with husbands of hard work, filial piety to the elderly, waiting for husbands, taking care of children, doing food and clothing, from morning to night, day after day, year after year, exhausted their efforts, only look forward to their children and grandchildren grow up, start a family, and live a complete life. The woman, who had no husband, stayed up bitterly, until she was full of gray hair, hoping that she would be able to pass on a descendant, and that there would be no deserted grave in the future.

What do people live for?

No one can tell.

But I've known since I was a kid that girls are characters who suffer and get angry.