1 On the bridge, a boy had already drunk eighteen bowls of Meng Po soup, and Meng Po saw and stopped him: Enough, don't drink, the boy was already crying and looking at Meng Po with red eyes, yelling at Meng Po, but I still have it

1 On the bridge, a boy had already drunk eighteen bowls of Meng Po soup, and Meng Po saw and stopped him: Enough, don't drink, the boy was already crying and looking at Meng Po with red eyes, yelling at Meng Po, but I still haven't forgotten her! Meng Po said that she drank a bowl and forgot about you. Do you remember what she looked like? The boy cried and replied of course that she had a scar on her face that I will never forget. Meng Po said to drink another bowl. The boy fell asleep after drinking. Meng Po looked up at the sky. She nodded slightly, tears streaming from her eyes. A gust of wind blew, and the veil on Meng Po's face was blown off, revealing a scar...

2 When I was a university student abroad, my dorm guys had girlfriends.

But there was a strange roommate who did not, it is said that he is now twenty-three years old and has not talked about a single relationship, so several roommates and I encouraged him to confess to the people he liked.

Buddy pluck up the courage to confess to the goddess of crush: Goddess, I love you!

The goddess asked: How much do you love me?

Dude said: If I had 10 bucks, I wouldn't hesitate to give you 9 bucks!

The goddess asked: What if you have 100,000 pieces?

Dude laughed and said: Then I will give you all 10 yuan!

Alas, I just want to say that some people, now, are really single for a reason!

3 Working for a multinational company, you often have to deal with difficult customers.

Recently, I met a customer from abroad and made me sleep in the company for several days.

Today I finally got it done, and I wanted my daughter-in-law to get some good food, so I went home to eat.

But the daughter-in-law suddenly called and said in panic: Husband! The sky was a vision, the cat behind the house barked all night, and in the evening, groups of birds flew around, afraid that there was going to be an earthquake, and my girlfriend and I were scared away.

I comforted my daughter-in-law: This is all normal, where have you gone?

The daughter-in-law had a lingering palpitation: She ran to Tibet and came here, and by the way, she traveled...

I:.......

4 The old man earned more than 5 million yuan by relying on a bacon shop and bought a luxury car and bungalow. The old man was too old to do it, so he transferred the shop to me. Usually the business is very good, the taste is particularly authentic. That time, an old customer called and said: Dude, can you send me some bacon icons? Cousin: The store has been so busy lately, you can come to my shop and get it! Client: I'm abroad, and I've been crazy about eating your bacon recently, or will you tell me that it's okay?

5 As many children get older, they ask where their parents came from. Daddy and mother answered that they were picked up in the garbage can, planted in the ground, and sent with mobile phone bills. When I was a child, I asked my mother, "What did you do before?" Mom simply dealt with the question of "where did I come from?" She said: "I used to sell children, you look too ugly, you can't sell it, you have to raise yourself." ”

6 Yesterday I was on the bus to work, and I met a pair of very funny old people. When I saw them coming up, I quickly gave way to a seat, and the grandmother saw it and sat down hurriedly. The old man asked in disbelief: How old are you this year? Grandma replied: Sixty-nine! Grandpa listened to the music: Then I am older than you, I am seventy-five, you give me a seat! The grandmother is not easy to mess with, and immediately came the sentence: Then I can't give you a way, I am pregnant, the second child!

7 A sister in the crush company has been in love for a long time, and every time I see her, I want to confess to her, and I can't say it with embarrassment. When I went to make a copy today, she also came in to make a copy, and I wanted to find an opportunity to confess, and the sister looked at the way I wanted to say and stopped, and said, "Say whatever you want, except to confess to me." My brain was hot and I said, "I want you to have me a baby." "The atmosphere was awkward...

8 In the evening, fuers dined at KFC, surrounded by six or seven elementary school students. The children nibbled on the hamburger while writing their homework, and the children who suddenly felt pity in their hearts were also quite pitiful. Mom and Dad are busy at work and can only eat junk food for dinner. Suddenly, one of the boys said to the other, "We're taking the class fee to eat KFC, how do we go back and explain it to the teacher?" ”

9 I finally have to take the fourth exam, and I am excited to think that I can get my driver's license right away. As a result, the bank card was placed on the table as an ID card, and when I came out, I needed to swipe the ID card, and I didn't look at it and gave it to others. The other party was a girl, only to see her smile and say: Want to bribe me, I will not leave work until later!! I was stunned, thinking that I hadn't done anything, and then my sister said to me: You gave me all your bank cards, is your daughter-in-law willing?? I looked at it, and sure enough, I handed my sister a piece of my pay card, where is the sewn on the ground? Don't stop me...

10 The girlfriend actually has a leg with the boss. Since the two brothers let his girlfriend finish the phone call, the girlfriend completely broke up with him. Yesterday I heard that my ex-girlfriend was going to marry a local tycoon, and my brother's heart was very uncomfortable. Listlessly on a day shift, I just met the boss on the way home. Looking at the boss's McLaren 720s, the buddy sighed: Boss, tomorrow I will take a day off! Boss: What happened, what happened? Me: I'm going to my ex-girlfriend's wedding. The boss was stunned for a moment, and then said: We didn't invite you at all!

11 The female boss's Apple mobile phone has some cards, let me clean up for her, is cleaning up the files, someone on WeChat said to her: "I miss you, do you miss me?" I was immediately jealous and replied, "Who are you?" Don't talk nonsense. The other party responded for a while: "Hey hey, I'm his daughter-in-law, I'll just try it." I said, "I'm her boyfriend." The other person replied, "Really? Then let's add a WeChat separately. "Then, we added WeChat to each other, and I saw her circle of friends, which was a beautiful woman, and I was very happy." After cleaning up the phone, I deleted the WeChat chat history. The landlady took the phone, called me over, and said, "Who did you talk to... How do you add the WeChat of the daughter-in-law. "I don't admit it, the landlady handed me WeChat to show me, and the other party took a screenshot of our previous chat history." I was so angry that I replied with my phone: "Idiot, I don't know how to delete the chat history." The other party replied: "I am her husband..."

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #