1, last night the female boss for more than ten million lists to socialize, during the period, the customer has been pouring female boss wine, the back drink too much, call me to call me to pick her up home. I helped her to the co-pilot's

1, last night the female boss for more than ten million lists to socialize, during the period, the customer has been pouring female boss wine, the back drink too much, call me to call me to pick her up home. I helped her to the co-pilot's position, looked at the drunken female boss with some pain, and couldn't help but reprimand her: Why do you drink so much wine outside as a girl, don't drink if you can't drink, don't you know how to cherish yourself. The landlady didn't say a word, and her phone clutched the mineral water I had bought her. When the landlady was sent home safely, after settling her down, and preparing to leave to go back to her own home, the landlady suddenly hugged me from behind and said: No one has ever cared so much about me, you are the first, if you want, I will marry you, hand over the company to you, and I will teach you at home. I was suddenly in a dilemma, if I agreed, but the landlady was drunk, tomorrow woke up, will not talk does not count, if I refuse, but the landlady really wants to marry me? Emma, what a tangled mess.?

2. Today, I went to the nursing home with my girlfriend to volunteer, did it for a day, and did not go home until the afternoon. On the way home, my girlfriend said to me: Honey, I'm so scared of getting old now!? Me: Baby, don't be afraid, you won't be afraid when you're really old. Girlfriend: You're right, when I really get older, I'll look away, and then I'll be very calm. I'm not, and when you get older, you'll start to be afraid to die. girlfriend......

3. After hearing the news of Uzi's retirement, I was very sad, and went downstairs for lunch to order a braised pork to soothe my wounded heart. After the braised meat was served, I asked in the restaurant: Boss, why does the braised pork I order have so many pig hairs? The boss came out of the back room with a kitchen knife in his hand, and I immediately lowered my voice and said: Boss, I mean that there are pig feathers on this braised meat, which means that you are real pork, not fake pork, and there is no blindness to us. The boss looked at it and said: Brother, this is Ginger!

4, bought a new car last month, just drove 5,000 kilometers, to the 4S shop maintenance. Just drove the car to the door of the 4S shop, I heard the noise inside, listened to it for a while to know, a car was in a car accident but the airbag did not pop out, the result of the after-sales staff said: You did not hit the right place, the next time in the collision try to hit the head of the car. Crash head... It feels like the whole person is not good.

5. On the day of Tanabata, my wife and a rich and handsome manager of her company went on a business trip. I was bored at home alone, so I stole her bank card and took a train to run with the Lolita girl I met online. On the train, a migrant worker next to me asked a beautiful flight attendant to make up for the ticket. The flight attendant asked, "Where are you going to make up for it?" Migrant worker: "Zhengzhou! Flight attendant: "Okay, do you have children?" Migrant worker: "There is a girlfriend." Flight attendant: "How old?" Migrant worker: "Four and a half years old." Flight attendant: "Is there a meter and a half in height?" Migrant worker: "There should be no, I forgot." Flight attendant: "Where, bring it over to see if it's super." Migrant worker: "Huh?" My kids are back home! "The flight attendants were messy...

6. After marrying my wife, we have to go out for a honeymoon for a month. When I went to Zhangjiajie to play, my wife asked me to accompany her to the Zhangjiajie Grand Canyon bungee jump. I was afraid of heights since I was a child, and I didn't want to go. Then my wife was reluctant and said, "If you don't go, you'll cross me out of your household registration book." I said: I really can't jump, if I do, I'm afraid my name will have to be crossed out of the hukou book.

7. My cousin is a high-achieving student at the University of Electronic Science and Technology, and she has no boyfriend. The aunt and uncle were really anxious, so they arranged for their cousin to go on a blind date. After returning from blind dates, the cousin felt that the family conditions of the boys were poor and unwilling. The uncle was angry at that time and said: Girl, don't look down on the poor conditions in the family of the young man, to tell the truth, if it were not for the bad conditions at home, you would not have appeared in this world at all. When the conditions were not good, when my aunt was about to give birth, I found out that I was pregnant!!

8, in the QQ group chat is good, home is not far away, so I proposed a dinner. Male A female free, more than a dozen people said yes. When the time came, I went to the restaurant and found the box. Ma Ya, open the door to find 10 women playing with mobile phones. The key is that there is a female, humorous sentence: finally dare to order, happiness came too suddenly!

9. The class teacher announced in the class: "In order to stop the phenomenon of truancy, our class implements a fine system. In the future, a fine of five yuan for each lesson skipped is used as a class fee. A classmate took out ten yuan and said to the table, "I am ready to escape ten yuan in the afternoon."

10, girls often say: when the old woman has played enough, find an honest man to marry! Hearing this sentence, I feel deeply upset, who have we honestly offended? I was poor when I graduated from college, so I never had a girlfriend. Now that my job is stable and my income is high, I still have no problem! So I want to ask: When will you girls have enough play? I can't wait for this honest man!

11. I was angry when I heard this, I didn't share the good things, and when I finished eating, I came over to show it, so I decided to scare him, and I pretended to panic and said, "You even ate the seeds?" The seeds of oranges can not be eaten, they will sprout in the stomach, and when they grow up, they will break the stomach! The second brother was obviously panicked, did not doubt my words at all, and asked me busily, "What should I do, do I want to go to the hospital?" ”

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