1. After work at night, I asked my daughter, "What about your father and sister-in-law?" Daughter: "They are in the house, Daddy wants to take off Auntie's skirt, Auntie doesn't want to, Daddy has to take it off, you can take a look!" ”

1. After work at night, I asked my daughter, "What about your father and sister-in-law?" Daughter: "They are in the house, Daddy wants to take off Auntie's skirt, Auntie doesn't want to, Daddy has to take it off, you can take a look!" I was shocked and quickly kicked open the bedroom door, which was empty. The daughter pointed to the kitchen: "There! "I ran to the kitchen with lightning speed and was about to get angry. I saw my husband pulling on my sister's apron and saying, "Quick, take off the apron, in our house, how can I let you cook!" ”......

2, the college entrance examination can check the results, I was in a nervous mood on the official website, found that I scored 749 points, almost one point on the full score. Mom and Dad were happy and took me to a big dinner. At dinner, my father told me that my mother used to like to play mahjong, and then when I was born, my mother quit mahjong. Curiously, I asked, "Mom, did you quit to take care of me?" Mom shook her head: Of course not, because I think it's fun to hit you.

3, mid-autumn plus national day, the company put 10 days off, I went home, my mother everywhere to see me not good. Today I was watching "I Like You", and my mother came over and said: You see your single eyelid is too ugly, tomorrow I will take you to cut a double eyelid. I was stunned, trying to squeeze out a double eyelid to show her... My mother stared at me seriously for a while and said, "Forget it, you are just as ugly if you cut it or not!"

4. On weekend breaks, I took my sister-in-law to Uniqlo to buy clothes. There was a little couple in front of us, and the girl's shoelaces were open, bending down to tie the laces. Only to see his boyfriend quickly rush behind the sister, and then grab her double ponytail. Alas, I didn't expect to come out to buy clothes and be fed a mouthful of dog food!? Until the mouth of the girl's boyfriend issued "driving ~ driving ~ driving ~ " I laughed out loud at that time.......

5. The social brothers who were once good brothers in their childhood have now become strict wives. On this day I asked the good buddy who was doing the laundry: If your girlfriend called you in a game and asked you to accompany him shopping, would you go? Dude: Is this still asking, and I will definitely quit the game without hesitation. Me: There are not many people like you! Dude: Yes, after all, the game is more important than life, and the latter is definitely more important.

6, the cousin is very independent, the mother-in-law and mother want to bring her children, she does not use, prefer to bring their own, the children are particularly well-behaved and sensible. Into December, the weather is cold, the two sides of the old people want to organize a group to Hainan for the winter, to seek the cousin's opinion, the cousin said: you can go with confidence, the child to go to kindergarten does not have to worry, it is fine. The four old men left happily, and the cousin thundered and cleaned up her husband... My cousin-in-law has also recently become obedient!

7. My husband is a programmer at Microsoft and has paid a salary of 100,000 yuan this month. On the weekend, I dragged him to the mall to buy something. As soon as we walked out of the community, a group of wedding cars came on the road, the first car was Rolls-Royce Mulsanne, and the back 25 cars ran. Just when I was envious, I heard my husband firmly say: Honey, one day, I will prepare so many brand-name cars for you! I asked with disgust: When is that going to be? Husband: On the day you die, cars, carriages, ox carts, what cars do you want, I let people burn what cars for you... ?

8. Separated from my wife for two years, I have been living with my parents. Early this morning my mother went out to buy vegetables, and when she wanted to come back, she called me and asked my father to pick her up. After hanging up the phone, I said to my father: Dad, my hands are not convenient, I can't drive the car, my mother let you pick her up. Dad breathlessly said: This old woman, all day long knows to add chaos, do not know a taxi back, do not have to go to pick up, wait I have to talk about her. More than half an hour later, my mother came back, and she kept saying something in her mouth. And my dad, just shrugged his head and followed my mom...

9. Today, when I was on duty at the company, an old lady came over to deliver a pennant and stunned me. I asked the eldest lady: What pennant do you want to get? Big Lady: "Broken Mirror Reunion" to the heating company. I was quite puzzled and asked: How do you embroider these four words? Big Girl: My wife and I have been sleeping apart for many years. Husband and wife didn't even touch each other, and watching the relationship completely break down, this is not last night in the middle of the night he wrapped the quilt and drilled into my bed! Cold, shivering and saying to me: Please, go to sleep in your arms! The two of them wrapped up and warmed up. If it weren't for the heating, the old bastard would have to live separately from me!

10. Recently, the rich man got a young son, so the abbot drove a tractor and bought a small wooden window to send. Regal Mei Zizi asked the abbot while installing: "Are you sure this window is safe and strong?" The abbot patted his chest, and then promised him: "Rest assured, I asked, sleeping 200 pounds of baby is no problem!" "Oh I'm going, don't you think the gift is bad?" Before the rich man could finish speaking, he let the abbot out.......

11, the wife secretly went to the plastic surgery and did not tell me. I looked at my wife, who looked different from before, and I had a fight with her. She went back to her mother's house in a huff, and at that time I was also angry, so I went by her! I thought that she would stay with her mother-in-law for a few days, and when she was out of breath, she would naturally come back! Unexpectedly, early the next morning, my wife ran back in ashes. I heard her muttering to herself: "It's better to be at home, you don't have to wash and cook every day!" ”

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