1, on the bus, there is a sister, and a foreigner in English conversation, the conversation is huge, the sister's expression is exaggerated, from time to time also laugh, so it lasted, for a long time. The girl suddenly used it

1, on the bus, there is a sister, and a foreigner in English conversation, the conversation is huge, the sister's expression is exaggerated, from time to time also laugh, so it lasted, for a long time. The girl suddenly asked the driver with Chinese: Has xxx station arrived? Driver A: It's over. The girl was furious: Why don't you report the station? The driver calmly replied: Speaking Chinese, I am afraid that you will not understand.

2. Today, when I went to visit the old man's house, I found him smoking on the balcony with a sad face. Me: Dad, what's wrong? Dad took a puff of his cigarette: it was going to rain soon. Dad looked at me puzzled and explained: When it rains, your mother-in-law can't go out for a walk, and then she will definitely lose all my happy beans.

3. The old man made 63 million yuan by frying bones, abandoned his wife and son, and married a beautiful nurse in the second marriage. After the nurse became pregnant, the husband was particularly happy and looked up the dictionary every day to give the baby a good name. The old man's surname is Han, and I gave him a lot of ideas, but he was not very satisfied. After a week, I asked my husband, "What, have you thought of your baby's name?" The old man: "Think about it, the big name is Han Jinliang, and the small name is 999!" ”

4, the girlfriend's family went to Hainan self-driving trip, lasted more than a month, when I came back, I felt that she had a lot of black spots on her face, and asked her what she was doing. She said viciously: "The whole family is sunbathing and asleep, my husband is afraid of tanning our faces, finding something for the whole family to cover our faces, using a straw hat for my mother, using a silk scarf for my father, assigning a pot lid to myself, and assigning me a steamed bun!"

5. On the prairie, the gray wolf opened a cupping shop. One day, the brother who opened the business, Happy Sheep went to the store to celebrate. Because this was a cupping of the Fire by the Happy Goat Brother, some worried questions asked: "Gray Wolf, is it safe for you to cup the can?" Gray Wolf said with particular confidence, "Safety! Definitely safe! See that bottle of fire extinguisher in the corner? Wait a minute, if it burns up, my brother can put out the fire in a moment! ”

6, the sister brought the little nephew to the house to eat, the sister sadly said that the little nephew is on vacation, it is time to consider applying for the tutoring class. After eating, my nephew, who was in elementary school, dragged me to go shopping. From time to time, he took out a piece of paper to take notes on some shop phones, and I asked him what he was doing. He said: "Tomorrow these cram schools are going to work, and I will use my mother's mobile phone to block them tonight!" ”

7. When I went on a blind date, I found that the man was ugly, fat and short. I was angry, so I just said: Is there a house? M: Yes, but it's the company. Me: Do you have a car? M: Yes, but it's also the company. Me: Goodbye! M: Why are you in such a hurry? Tell you, the company is my dad's.

8, my mother came to me with 6 bank cards, to teach me to be a girl, I was happy to be broken! Mom said, "Don't all little girls like warm men now!" Me: "Hmm! It seems to be. Mom: "So you must be a warm man!" In this case, there will be many girls who like you. Me: "Hmm! I must be a warm man! The old mother handed me the bank card: "There are more than 80 yuan in total, brother, you first buy a pair of autumn pants to wear!" "Me:"

9. The new intern girl in the unit looks very good-looking, and the brother-in-law has done a lot of homework in order to chase her. The brother-in-law moved to the neighborhood where the girl lived, and then took the bus every morning and met her mother unexpectedly. As soon as her mother got in the car, the brother-in-law shouted, "Auntie, sit here!" A month later, the brother-in-law was already famous on this train, and they all scrambled to ask the brother-in-law: "Are you a professional seater?" I also want to pay the month..." Through this incident, I understand that chasing a girlfriend first gets the mother-in-law.

10. The Maserati that the coming-of-age father sent to the brothers for a month immediately introduced his sister to me. The next day I went on a date with her sister, and I took her to the back hill and saw a meteor shower. Me: "Look at the meteor shower!" Hurry up and make a wish, it is very likely to come true! She said, "Lord, please give me a Lipstick from Saint Laurent!" Me: "You don't have to say your wishes, just pray silently in your heart!" God can hear it! She: "But I'm afraid you won't hear my wishes!" ”?

11. After graduating from Shandong Normal University, the little sister returned to her hometown to become a kindergarten teacher. Although she could not understand it, she was still prepared for her decision. On this day, the little sister took her classmates to eat a buffet and asked the waiter: How much is an adult? How much does a child cost? The waiter explained: Adults are 80, children are under one meter and two meters and do not need money. The little sister was suddenly happy, shouting outside: Middle class, the children of the small class are lined up, don't mess around, I will take you to eat delicious!?

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