Now most of the families are only one or two children, so the degree of pampering of children will be deeper, most of the time like to condone children, do not know, the parents' connivance behavior will make children more and more uneducated, but many parents do not realize this, but mistakenly take some of the child's behavior as clever, and once proud.
Case: The child has become a habit of talking back, but the parents feel that the child is "able to speak the tao"
Ms. Wang's son is in the fifth grade of primary school this year, the child usually has a mouth always nagging, no matter who says him, he can always pick up the mouth, and often say that the other party has nothing to say, this feature is revealed when the child is young, even in the face of the elders in the family, her son is the same.
When the child is young, he likes to talk back to Ms. Wang, Ms. Wang is also used to it, and she does not think that this is the performance of the child's mouth, plus there are many relatives and friends around her who praise her son for being able to speak the Tao, the mouth is very fluent, and he has to be a lawyer and a host in the future, etc. Such praise is more, Ms. Wang will inevitably feel proud, and the more she feels that the child is actually good at this aspect.
Until one day, Ms. Wang took her child to a friend's party, during which she did not know which friend joked, "Do you love your father or your mother?" I didn't expect the child to say directly, "Do you have any questions, always ask this kind of boring question, why don't you ask your son, it is recommended to go to the hospital to see the brain." ”
Many people are bringing their children to participate for the first time, and the purpose of asking this kind of question is to narrow the distance with the child and tease the child, who knows that Ms. Wang's son jumped out of this sentence in a series. Ms. Wang also felt a little embarrassed, so she pulled the child and said, "How to talk, people's aunts are just joking." ”
Ms. Wang's son did not give face, and then said, "You don't pull me, don't bother, there is nothing to joke about, I am not interested in the old aunt's jokes." At this time, the atmosphere was even more awkward, and it was a friend who quickly changed the topic to be hasty.
After that, Ms. Wang went to the toilet, and when she came back, she heard her friends talking about her son not far away, "no tutor", "two sentences of fluent mouth, can't find the east, west, north and south" and so on, Ms. Wang realized that the child's mouth should indeed be changed, and then found an excuse to take the child home early, it was too embarrassing.
01 The performance of these "no tutors" in children, parents are proud, outsiders see through it and do not say broken
The first is the brainless performance we talked about in the above case, regardless of the occasion and the object, many children have such characteristics, and they have been there since a very young age. We all know that if a child has this feature when he is a child, it will make people feel particularly cute, after all, the child is young, and what he says will make people feel particularly funny. As everyone knows, if the child does not establish a sense of rules when he is a child and allows the child to talk about this, then as the child grows up, the brainless mouth will become a habit, and at this time, parents are also accustomed to believing that this is the child's cute performance and will not consider the aspect of parenting.
In the eyes of outsiders, it will feel very uncultured, but considering the face of the child's parents, they will choose to cover up the embarrassment with a praise reaction, "your child's mouth is really strong", and so on, which is the best performance, but in fact, outsiders just see through it and don't say it, in fact, they will feel that the child has no tutoring from the heart.
There are also some children who are very selfish from a young age, whether it is to protect food, or toys, their own things do not like to be taken away by others, other people's things have to be robbed. When parents see these performances, they will also think that their children have their own ideas from an early age, and they will also feel that their children are very powerful, know how not to suffer losses, protect their rights and interests, and so on.
But they do not understand that these behaviors will become more and more intense as they grow up, and that selfish personalities will become more extreme. In the eyes of outsiders, this performance is also very untaught, but it will not blame the child in front of the parents, in order to take care of the face of the child's parents, it will also say "Your child will certainly not suffer losses in the future, this personality is good, not like some honest people are easy to be bullied." Listening to similar words a lot, parents are also easy to flutter, do not know that this is the child's lack of tutoring performance.
In addition, there are some children who like to turn over other people's things in other people's homes, in fact, this performance is also very untaught, but after all, as a guest, the host family in order to alleviate embarrassment, most of them will use "your children are not afraid of birth, I like this character" and other words to cover up, but many parents did not hear the dissatisfaction of it, and thought that the other party was really praising the child.
Conclusion: Children do not have tutors, and the root of the problem lies in the parents' own way of education. I hope that parents themselves can first carry these things, otherwise it is easy to mislead their children.