Wise words: Listen quickly, speak slowly, and get angry slowly

In life, how to listen better, express your opinions better, and control your emotions better?

If there are three aspects of this that can be done well, it will be of great benefit to yourself and the people around you.

As one wise man put it:

Listen quickly, speak slowly, and get angry slowly.

First, listen quickly

We often say that we should listen carefully to the lectures.

So, why use the word "fast" deliberately?

Fast can vividly tell us that when listening, we must keep up with the rhythm, do not slow down half a beat, do not lag behind.

It was like we were practicing English listening. Many times it is not clear to hear, that is, it is not keeping up with the speed of the person speaking.

The speaker is already speaking the next sentence, and we are still thinking about what a certain word of the previous sentence means.

As a result, the back did not hear clearly, and the front did not understand.

Therefore, when listening, whether it is a one-on-one conversation, or if we listen to a speech or a sermon, we must listen quickly.

Keep up with each other's rhythm, don't slow down half a beat, and don't lose your mind.

Ten years ago, when I was studying in Nanjing, I once went to Henan with my classmates.

Originally, I thought it was just a simple play, but I didn't expect my classmates to have the task of sharing and training in Shangqiu.

He first shared it with another local teacher. Later they invited me to participate in the sharing. I was assigned two shared tasks.

At that time, I didn't have much experience, and my knowledge reserves were limited.

With a nervous heart, I began to share. But I didn't expect that, slowly, I would gradually get better as I talked.

Why not more and more nervous, but more and more confident?

The reason lies in the feedback from the audience.

When you see a group of listeners under the podium with a longing attitude, taking notes with a notebook in their hands, without any noise in the venue, and often responding to the speaker with a smile and a nod of approval, it is natural to be full of confidence, and the more you speak, the more energetic you are.

When we listen quickly and keep up with the rhythm of the person who speaks, we can not only understand the content of the other person's speech very well, but also give good encouragement to the people who share the words with us.

Second, speak slowly

Sometimes when we share, speak or talk to people, we are more nervous, and it is easy to talk faster and faster.

Speaking too fast is not a good thing.

Like Hua Shao, the host of China's Good Voice, the broadcast speed is ridiculously fast, and the mouth is very powerful, but in fact, there is no benefit.

Because the host is broadcasting a sponsor's advertisement. The speech is so fast that even the content cannot be heard clearly, will the sponsor be happy to hear it?

Speaking slowly is good for yourself and for others.

Slowly speaking, for oneself, there are two benefits.

The first is to make your expression clearer.

Speak slowly, it is possible to achieve depression and frustration, and there are priorities.

The second is to make your thinking clearer.

Talking too fast, the brain's thinking can't keep up with the expression of the mouth. The head has not yet figured out what to say, the mouth has already spoken in front, and it is easy to be confused.

If you express it a little slower, you can better express it while thinking, and you will have a clearer idea when you speak.

Slowly speaking, there are also two benefits for the audience.

First, the audience can hear more clearly.

I have been learning English for many years, but my listening has always been poor. Listen to slow English, you can basically listen to a general meaning. But if you watch a foreign movie without watching subtitles, you don't know what you're talking about. Because it's so fast.

Although listening to Chinese we have no problem in this regard, if we speak too quickly, it will still make people not hear clearly and affect communication.

The second is to make people not tired of listening.

Listening to people who speak quickly, even if you can hear clearly the whole time, in order to hear clearly, you must redouble your concentration to listen. If you listen in that state for a long time, people are easily tired.

Therefore, for ourselves and others, we must learn to tell and share with the wind and rain.

Third, slowly get angry

A while ago, my son was taught a lesson by me.

The reason is that the son has a plastic toy airplane, but at that time, Dabao was not playing, but his sister was playing with it in her hand.

The child is like this, others do not play with him do not care, others as long as they take his toys, he will immediately grab the hand before stopping.

This is probably the most primitive possessiveness of man.

Therefore, the son refused to let his sister play, and must grab it.

I talked to him many times, first borrowed my sister to play for a while, but he still refused, and forced himself to grab it.

As a result, the plastic plane broke off as soon as it was pulled.

My anger was ignited at once, and I began to beat my son.

My mother was so nervous that she pulled me aside and kept saying that the child didn't understand things, don't be too angry with the child.

After calming down and thinking about it, it is true.

People have a sinful nature, and from an early age they know how to be selfish, lying, jealous, proud...

Children should be taught to be sensible, but in the midst of anger, it is difficult to effectively teach children.

Or you need to teach slowly in your daily life, and lead by example, and teach by example.

When people encounter something they are not accustomed to, or are offended by others, they will immediately burst into anger, which will often lead to bad consequences.

When things happen, you should not only think twice before acting, but also think twice and try not to get angry, and slowly guide the anger.

Try to take a deeper breath, think more empathetically, and look for the cause from your own perspective.

What is wrong with me that caused the other person to do this to me?

Getting angry slowly and getting angry as little as possible is good for yourself and for others.

conclusion

In daily life, our ears are inseparable from listening to people, and our mouths are inseparable from expressing our personal views to others.

In the process of communicating or interacting with people, it is inevitable that there will be contradictions of one kind or another.

How to control our emotions, how to control our anger, determine whether we are a person who gets along with people or is not liked by others.

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