1, I am the only twenty-eight-year-old child in the family who has no object. When I came home from work today, I met a junior high school student on the street and hit me hard. Bumping into people is still quite horizontal, I am

1, I am the only twenty-eight-year-old child in the family who has no object. When I came home from work today, I met a junior high school student on the street and hit me hard. After hitting someone, I quarreled with him, and the more I argued, the more intense it became. The junior high school student said viciously, "Which class are you in?" Hearing his question, I forgave him at that time!

2, invite buddies to help me bargain, accidentally found that he only has 5 contacts. I laughed at his lack of friends, but he smiled and said: You can find someone to dial it. I called a contact, and he picked up the phone: There's a bit of an emergency to call me 10,000 yuan to use. As a result, in less than 5 minutes, the text message reminded him that the bank card 20,000 was deposited. I blushed and said ashamedly: I get it! He said: You don't understand. After saying that, he blacked out the man!

3, in the hospital registration, there is a person in line, I asked him: why don't you queue? The 2B replied: "Because I don't have the qualities." At that time, I was speechless, and simply slapped it, and he jumped up and asked me: You... Why did you hit me? I told him: Because I'm sick...

4, this time is not busy, the materials made up for the construction site are the boss himself to the warehouse to pick up, I also as a porter to make, to the site to send materials are with me... It was raining today, and the boss asked me to send a few bags of talcum powder to the construction site with him, and the good boss lowered the window and the rain came in. Me: Boss! Don't open the window! The rain came in, and the talc was useless when it got wet. Boss: You don't want to come out with me and say, smoke even if you, eat raw green onions and raw garlic, sit in the car for so many years, the first time you find the feeling of motion sickness. I.....

5, in middle school, there was a boy in the class who spoke very well, but Mandarin was very bad, so every time the teacher told him to read aloud and practice pronunciation. In a Chinese class, learning "Nostalgia" in Yu Guang, he stood up and read: "When I was a child / Nostalgia is a small stamp / I am here / Mother is on that end", he read carefully "When I grow up / Nostalgia is a narrow ferry ticket / I am here / Bride is on that end" "Later ah / Nostalgia is a short grave / I am in it." Ha ha!

6, my big cat is very tough. When I lived in the bungalow, the dogs of the family who lived in my house were afraid of it. Every time the master asked him to go out for a walk and walk to the door of my house, the master had to pick it up and walk over. It hates it the most, and once a neighbor's sister deliberately learned it to call it, and it chased after her sister and chased her into the house. Fortunately, the sister closed the door quickly, otherwise it would have chased after it. Although it is very biao, it never bullies kittens, and the stray cats in my family let them eat first.

7, the first time to lead the girlfriend home, the mother is a little dissatisfied with my foreign daughter-in-law, but did not say anything. At noon, my mother fried a few hard dishes, and my daughter-in-law ate very happily, and after eating two bowls, she took up the bowl, and my mother said: The bowl does not need to be cleaned, just put it on the table, and then I will clean it up together. The daughter-in-law looked at her mother: No, auntie, your stir-fried dish is so delicious, I want to add a bowl. Later, my mother approved of our marriage, saying that such a woman was not pretentious and suitable to be a daughter-in-law.

8, after returning home at night, my wife looked at me inexplicably, looked at me for half a day and said: "Why didn't you wear your coat home, are you afraid of the smell of perfume!" "She didn't listen to my explanation and gave me a big fight, she grabbed my mobile phone and fell, I can't show weakness when I see it, I immediately picked up her mobile phone and fell." As a result, I could still use it, and she was really broken, so she immediately went out and bought a new one. I...... Is it a good bet!

9, a boy thinks he is an adult, so he goes to the barber to shave his face. The barber invited him to sit down, soaped his face, ignored him, and stood in the doorway talking and laughing with another barber. The little adult waited for a few minutes, impatient, and shouted, "Why have you been letting me stay here?" The barber replied, "I'm waiting for your beard to grow." ”

10. After getting married, I went to find a matchmaker the next day. He questioned her, "Did you say before that the ladies had Wangfu coming?" "Matchmaker: Yeah, isn't it? Me: It's a fart, she started yelling at me when she got out of bed today. Matchmaker: That's right, I said Wang, the dog barks "Wang", that is, barks at you like a dog, yes. I:......

11. The WiFi password of the neighbor's house is: 12345678. Can this still be difficult for me? Isn't it: 244666668888888. So I've been using it, and I just got up this day and found that the WiFi wasn't connected. So I asked him: Is your WiFi not on? Him: Password Pi. I think this is not difficult for me as an undergraduate college student! Then I enter:

12, the TV is playing a show that I like, I sat on the couch on my ass, and I jumped up. I flipped the couch upside down and found nothing. I tried to sit on a stool and jumped up again. So I went back to the bedroom, unzipped and found that the original position of the back pocket of the pants, pierced with two cactus thorns, was about to pull out, the mother shouted: Qianzi, are you looking for? Turn on the TV and run, wasting electricity! Pushing the door in and seeing me, she whispered: Are you really looking for?

13, on the street, saw a woman and a man talking: "Husband, aren't you going on a business trip for three months, called me yesterday, said A month and a half will come back, I was happy, jumped up, and then the high heels fell, and then fell, the knee injury is like this, you have to believe me ah..." Well, sister, I wish you success, your boyfriend believes in you...

14, it is the height of summer, I still have to go to work outdoors against the big sun. I want to tell my mom about this and let her know that I'm trying hard and not being pretentious. Then I sent a duck raised his fist and ignited a fighting spirit. My mom said that on such a hot day, she sweated when she saw this expression. ～～