The husband returned early from a business trip, just arrived at the door, heard the voice of a man in the bedroom, was very angry, and rushed into the bedroom in a panic. I saw my wife sitting alone on the bed sweating profusely

The husband returned early from a business trip, just arrived at the door, heard the voice of a man in the bedroom, was very angry, and rushed into the bedroom in a panic. Seeing his wife sitting on the bed alone in sweat, the husband asked angrily: What about people! The wife replied breathlessly: Say... Say what, how can there be other people in this room. The husband's bedroom, living room, kitchen, under the bed, wardrobe are all looked for again, and sure enough, a figure was found on the bed table, the husband kicked down, and the wife came in later and said, "Hey, where did the master who repaired the air conditioner go?"

2. My husband had a ligature after he got HIV, but I suddenly became pregnant. He was very angry and swept me out of the house, and in order to support myself and my children, I had to go to SF to deliver the courier. The rich and handsome manager was very kind to me and did not dislike my past, so I married him. After marriage, I went to Sanya for my honeymoon, and when I came back, I felt that my mother-in-law was weird, saying that something was wrong, and I couldn't say it! After a few days I couldn't help but ask my mother-in-law what was wrong? At first, she didn't talk, and then her husband asked again and again, and the mother-in-law cried loudly: You two have no conscience, go out to play and don't take me, I will give you a polite say that you don't want to go, you will take it seriously!

3. Chat with friends, idle, play games with friends. While playing, my friend suddenly asked me: If the rope breaks during bungee jumping, you will soon fall into the bottom of the cliff, and only let you say three words, what will you say? I listened for a moment and said incomprehensibly: Help, save me, be afraid, die or something! The friend suddenly laughed at the second floor and said: "Douyun."

4. Some time ago, our manager had a birthday and asked everyone to get together. The manager specifically said in the group that if we were not allowed to bring gifts, I would take it seriously. What I didn't expect was that after getting off the bus, I found that everyone in my colleagues was carrying gifts, so I came empty-handed. To cover up, I hurried to chase the bus: driver, stop, stop, I forgot to take it down! I went and actually stopped...

5. It snowed one night last night, and this morning I went for a drive with my Lamborghini key. When I got downstairs, I found that my car glass was gone, and there was snow inside the car. I came up in an instant, and went to find the property, me: the glass of my car was smashed by someone else. The property ran over to look at it with a panicked face, and said helplessly: Girl, can you roll the car window next time?

6. Delivered a takeaway for a month and paid 68,000 yuan in wages. After work, I immediately took my girlfriend to Haidilao to eat hot pot. The girlfriend ordered something for nearly 1,000 bucks, but only the two of us couldn't finish it!! I asked the waiter, "Did you add anything to your hot pot?" The waiter righteously said: "We are a regular hot pot restaurant, and we certainly did not add anything unhealthy." I said to my girlfriend, "Hear no?? It's not that hot pot is toxic and addictive, you're just too hungry. ”

7. Colleagues in the unit in the afternoon said that they had to deal with it again in the unit in the evening. Me: "What's going on?" Colleague: "I was caught smoking at home by my wife." I took his hand and said, "Come to my house when you want to smoke!" Colleague: "Your lover doesn't care about you?" Me: "I only deserve to smoke when my family comes!" ”

8. Dad did not finish primary school, began to work his own, even if it is self-made, the family property must be fifty or sixty thousand. I remember when I was a kid, my father was still a brick-moving worker on the construction site, and when I was in the third grade exam, my father came to send me, and everyone else's parents were waiting outside for their children. My father was different, and after sending me, he left... In the afternoon, my father prepared a series of drinks, mineral water, ice cream and a series of other things to sell at the school gate, and the business was called a hot...

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #