1. In order to get the champion of The Voice of China, the boy's father secretly took the ID card online loan of 8,000,000 yuan to the four tutors. At the scene of the competition, after the boy finished singing, the host asked:

1. In order to get the champion of The Voice of China, the boy's father secretly took the ID card online loan of 8,000,000 yuan to the four tutors.

At the scene of the competition, after the boy finished singing, the host asked: "See no, there are already three mentors, tears for you." ”

The boy cried, "I knew it was the result." ”

The moderator asked, "Why?" ”

The boy said, "When I was at home, my father said that I was torturing people when I sang. ”

2. On the wedding night, the bride ran out of the cave room angrily, and relatives came to see what was going on.

Bride: "Angry, how can this marriage be married?" ”

Relative: "It's normal to make a cave room, don't get angry!" ”

Bride: "Can you not be angry, they want to see my face!" ”

Relative: "Isn't it just to unveil the red hijab!" ”

Bride: "They're going to wash my face"

3 When I was sleeping soundly, my daughter-in-law shook me awake and said, "Hurry up, my father is coming." "I woke up at once, skillfully grabbed my clothes with my hands and feet, rolled to the bottom of the bed, and put my shoes in by the way. The daughter-in-law squatted down and said helplessly, "Come out!" We've both been married for half a year. "I...

4 My husband had a hard time taking a vacation, so I hurriedly dragged him to go shopping. He said: I don't want to go, I am tired of shopping with you. I said coquettishly: Husband, let's come back after a while, don't let you get tired. When I went to the women's clothing store, I tried a very beautiful dress, let the sales girl help pull the zipper behind it, asked my husband how it was, the goods stared at me for several seconds, rubbed my face hard and said: Wife, hurt wallet I recognize, can you not ask this kind of hurt feelings?

5 After lunch, I want to tease my wife when I have nothing to do. I said to my wife: Let me tell you a joke, shall I? The wife replied happily: Good, good. Me: Once upon a time there was a fool who liked to say no, and when people asked him anything he said no, have you ever heard this joke? The wife said: Is there any pocket money this month? Me: Uh...

6 And one of my female colleagues was sitting in the car, she and my girlfriend were video chatting, and I was smoking next to me, which was the background.

Then there was a car next to me, and I: Sister Yang, that little voice just now is really good.

Sister Yang: Is my girlfriend? You're dead hearted, people's children are quite old.

I:??? I said the golf that just passed.

Sister Yang: Glaring at me, you really deserve to be single!

7 Today is the first time that my ugly daughter-in-law has seen my in-laws. The father-in-law made a table of dishes, the plates are the same, that is called a spicy. I couldn't swallow, so I kicked my boyfriend's foot and motioned for him to serve the soup. After a few kicks, there was no movement, only to see him eating the sea plug and being indifferent. I twisted my heels a few times, thinking that this would always be ok. Later, when my father-in-law got up to serve soup, I saw him limping...

8 After three months of marriage, I found that my husband had a very thoughtful habit, that is, he loved to whisper when he slept, and occasionally he would say the place where he hid his private money in the whisper, and every time I went to look for it, I could harvest a few dollars. Once, my husband whispered in the middle of the night, saying that he was too tired at work, and he had to work overtime at night, and he was reluctant to give up his wife. When I heard it, I was very moved. The next day, when my husband was about to leave for work, he hugged me tightly and said, "I can't come back from working overtime at night." I also hugged my husband tightly, and my heart kept saying: "Forget it, I'll pretend to be confused!" In order to drink with your buddies, you also worked hard..."

9 The guy I shared with was an AV lover of LOL. Last night I was sleeping soundly when I suddenly felt a burst of light and I woke up. I opened my eyes and saw a guy sitting across from me playing with his phone. I asked, "Don't sleep so late?" Boy: "Can't sleep." I heard that he was not in a good mood and asked, "What's the matter?" The young man replied seriously: "Suddenly I remembered that when I played skate shoes with the E skill today, I had a little less A, otherwise I could kill back!" ”

10 My fiancée hated that I would not bargain for buying things, and suddenly regretted my marriage, which hit me very hard, and I have been learning to bargain.

When I was shopping for clothes yesterday, I asked, "How much does the boss have that clothes?" ”

The boss said: "180 yuan to take away!" ”

I took a deep breath and said firmly, "30 bucks to sell or not?" "Old

The board thought for a moment: "I don't sell this, maybe others will sell!" ”

I was pleasantly surprised: "Really? ”

The owner was very sure: "Really! You buy me a knife first, and you hold it when you bargain! ”

11 My ex-boyfriend once gave me a music box and Threw it in the utility room after the breakup. Cleaning today, found music and dark grid, there are two thousand dollars in it, I was a little surprised and a little sad, my mother knew and said: "You two have been separated for so long, why do you want so much, just spend the money." I thought it made sense, gave her five hundred, I went shopping to buy clothes, and then when I came home and saw her making braised pork in the kitchen, I said, "I'm going to go shopping after dinner, and I'll buy a pair of shoes." "At this moment, I felt like I might have made a mistake because Dad was gritting his teeth in the living room! 

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