There was a young woman in the unit, divorced for two years, and I wondered if I could catch her and went directly to her house one night. She was having dinner alone, and when she saw me, she smiled and asked, "You."

There was a young woman in the unit, divorced for two years, and I wondered if I could catch her and went directly to her house one night. She was eating dinner alone, and when she saw me, she smiled and asked, can you have some wine? I said that I can drink a little, but it is the amount of three or two. She smiled and said, that's much better than me, and I'll have a drink. I smiled and said, then the two of us who can't drink well are drinking together, and it won't be long before we get drunk. She didn't care, she said, get drunk! As a result, before the bottle of liquor was finished, we couldn't do it. Two red clouds rose from her cheeks, and her eyes were confused, as if there were two pools of wine hidden inside. I also don't have the old reservedness and Sven, I looked at her directly and said, I like you for a long time, would you like to be my girlfriend? You give me a word. She shook her head and said, I don't want to be your girlfriend. I was extremely disappointed to hear that. Shaky ready to leave. But she grabbed me and said, I'm going to be your wife.

2. I am ready to set up a wedding banquet with my girlfriend for The National Day, and now I am ready to buy a house. But we looked at a lot of places, all very expensive, can't afford it. The sales manager said: I know that there is a place where 200 square meters only cost 100,000 yuan. Me: Filling it in won't drop the pie, so why shouldn't such a cheap house be in Gem City? Manager: How do you know?

3. I found that my colleagues have liked a girl for a long time and are embarrassed to ask out for dinner. One day she was playing with her mobile phone, the manager just came over, only to see her hand clipped the mobile phone in the middle of the thigh, the manager did not find. A few weeks later, she was playing with her phone again, the manager came over, she repeated the stage, and then the phone fell on the ground, and then she broke the phone, so she offered me to go shopping with her.

4. My wife and girlfriend didn't believe in divorce yesterday, and my wife was very sad to come back! Ask me after dinner in the evening: If you lost me, how would you feel? I was stunned by the question and then said: Hmmm.... It's like stir-frying without salt! The wife whispered: Are you saying that losing my life will be boring? I smiled and said: Little idiot, I mean I'll go buy another pack!

5. After work, I drove my Wuling chariot to pick up my wife from work. The road is a bit congested, the cars are like turtles, and they can't drive at all. There was a McLaren next to us, driving side by side with us. The wife looked out the window and said: You see, the handsome guy who drives McLaren is also too delicate. At that time, I was a little annoyed and replied: You didn't see that the girl sitting in the co-pilot was also prettier than you? Women, why do you always like to compare so much?

6. After dinner, the girlfriend makes trouble at the table, throwing chopsticks and sticking. The husband was angry and grabbed the girl and beat her hard. Watching my girlfriend cry and tear her heart and lungs, I couldn't bear it. I said to my husband: You hit her like this, beware that she doesn't like you anymore! The husband smiled mysteriously and said calmly: Look at me. He turned his head and said to his girlfriend: Baby don't cry, it was your mother who made me beat you. Let's go, let's go eat ice cream.....

7. I came home from a business trip to see my wife cooking. Seeing that she was busy before and after, she was suddenly so moved to marry such a good wife and mother! I couldn't help but lie on the side of her ear and say softly, "Wife, it's hard!" Then the hand reached for the pocket of his wife's pants, stabbed suddenly, and immediately shrank back, with bleeding fingers. Looking at the daughter-in-law's pocket in surprise. Only to see my wife triumphantly take a needle from her pocket and say, "Don't think I don't know you want to steal my money, I caught it!" "Me:"

8. When I was a child, my grades were very poor, so my parents were ready to transfer me to another school, and my father told the table about it. He said to me with a bitter face: "Don't you transfer schools, I can't do without you!" So I said to him, "No, my grades are in the bottom of our class, which is really humiliating!" Only to see him tearfully said, "But as soon as you leave, I will become the last brother in the class!" ”

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #