1, married for ten years, God finally gave us a baby. I was really afraid to put it in my hand, and I was afraid to melt in my mouth. But this child is not like his father, nor is he like his mother. Somewhat suspicious

1, married for ten years, God finally gave us a baby. I was really afraid to put it in my hand, and I was afraid to melt in my mouth. But this child is not like his father, nor is he like his mother. There are some doubts, but I can't bear to say it, because this sentence on the lips will turn away the trust of this decade in an instant, and today is the time to climb over this forbidden wall" "I said" "Huh?" "I'm like, once, I haven't seen you take off your makeup."

2, today, accompany a friend to the hospital to see a doctor, in an exchange with the doctor, the doctor opened a prescription to my friend, the friend took the prescription out of the office, after coming out, the friend Raised the prescription in his hand and said, such a neat handwriting, am I encountering a fake doctor!!!

3, today I take the female boss car back, I drive. To the side of the community, I got out of the car for a while, found that the mobile phone was lost in the car and did not take it, and then hurried back, found that the boss was kind enough to wait for me to come back to get the mobile phone in my parking place, when I was moved to knock on the car window, she said that she also knew to take the key back. That's when I realized that the key was in my pocket.

4, my wife raised a Dutch pig, I don't like it, I want to throw it away. But this pig always recognized the way home, and threw it several times without success. I drove away with the pig that day and went far, far away to throw the pig away! That night, I called my wife: "How's it going?" Did the pigs come home? The wife replied, "I'm home!" I was very angry and yelled, "Let it answer the phone, I'm lost!" ”

5. After the teacher has finished talking about the "idiom of asking for fish in the wood", ask the students to think of an idiom with similar meanings. Xiaoming replied: "Kill the chicken to get the egg." The old (teacher corrected: "Wrong, Yuanmu qiuyu refers to the square (the direction, the method is not right and can not achieve the purpose.) Xiaoming replied frankly, "Teacher, I killed a rooster!") (”

6, the donkey no longer pull the grind, all day long around the mill squeak ah ah, what can be out of the air? The owner gave it a pair of black eye masks and said that the sun was shining on this to go to a far place. The donkey was very happy and followed the owner for a day, and in the evening, the owner said to rest at the family's house. The donkey sadly found that after a day's drive, the donkey shed of this house was no different from the owner's house.

7, now the technology is more and more developed, people have become no privacy. Everyone's life is completely exposed to the public eye! I was about to go to bed last night when I suddenly noticed that someone had installed a camera in the place where I slept! My private life is at a glance, and I'm probably connected to the Internet and uploaded to the Internet! It was too much, and I thought it was time to change the bridge.

8, the brother-in-law likes to play the game machine, summer vacation ready to beat the super Mary clearance, see half a summer vacation past not only did not pass the customs even summer vacation homework did not write. Suddenly, one day the place where the game console was placed became a summer vacation homework, and the undead brother-in-law took advantage of the fact that the mother-in-law and the old man were not at home, and decided to dig three feet into the ground to find out the game console. A whole summer vacation passed and I didn't find it until I was about to start school when my brother-in-law sorted out his school bag, and he found that the original game console was hidden in his bag... The brother-in-law said: The most dangerous place is the safest place.

9, a couple drove to the honeymoon trip, the result of the car engine suddenly stopped halfway, the husband repaired for half a day, the car is still not moving. Seeing that her husband was sweating profusely, her wife comforted her: "There is a hotel not far in front, let's go there for one night, get up tomorrow morning, the car will be fine, don't worry." The husband said: "That was before the marriage, this time the car is really broken!" ”

10, finally can go out to play, May Day, I proposed a self-drive tour, my father did not agree, he said: "May Day is full of people, you go to see people's ass?" I said, "Isn't there a place where there are fewer people?" Dad smiled humorously: Yes! There are few people in the school!

11, yesterday was at work, suddenly received my wife's WeChat, I opened a look, it said: "My dearest husband: if I had any wayward places, bad places, bad places, smelly places, mouth damage, more arrogant places, you look at my unpleasant places, here I sincerely say to you, can you put me ah? ”

12, my brothers swear that they will not be blind in this life! The reason is that when he was 24 years old, his parents arranged it once, and he was heartbroken. He came to the hotel early that day, ordered a good meal and waited for the woman to come. After a while the door opened, and before I could see who it was, I closed it again. Then I heard a sentence coming from outside the door: "Mom, he doesn't seem to be coming, there is an old man inside..."

13, the Mid-Autumn Festival saw the most poignant sentence: people have many places to go, but there are very few places to go back. I feel that I am very lucky: I have like-minded friends around me, and I have a firm direction in my heart, hoping that next year's Mid-Autumn Festival, I can still eat mooncakes, smell cinnamon, appreciate the full moon, reminisce about this year's efforts, and smile. I hope that friends of industry and commerce have a bright future!

14, finally married to my girlfriend, the next day I woke up and hugged her for half a day, asked her how to remove makeup is different from usual? My girlfriend shyly threw herself into my arms and told me that you have eaten instant noodles for so many years, don't you know that the packaging pattern is for reference only! Listen to this means I tore your packaging!