The husband imitated others to set the phone of the third child to 10086, and when the little three called in the middle of the night, the husband pointed to the caller ID and said: "This damn 10086, do you want anyone to sleep!" "Wife

The husband imitated others to set the phone of the third child to 10086, and when the little three called in the middle of the night, the husband pointed to the caller ID and said: "This damn 10086, do you want anyone to sleep!" The wife said coldly: "What, mobile is going to go out of business, poor enough to contact Unicom customers?" ”

2 The family was demolished, with 50 million yuan of demolition money I did not want to go to work, I set up a stall at the gate of Peking University to sell barbecue. Late one night, a college student couple came to eat skewers. I asked them what to order, and they both said casually. As soon as I saw that the girl looked so ugly, and the handsome guy looked so handsome, I directly gave him a plate of roasted brain flowers!

3 Yesterday, the mother-in-law went to the supermarket and was knocked down by a young man who drove a Bentley on the way. After the owner of the Bentley got out of the car, he broke out and scolded, and the mother-in-law did not speak. Wait for the owner of the Bentley to say he was tired. The mother-in-law came lightly: Young man, call your father and tell your father that you scraped a shared bicycle.

4 The brothers served dishes in Haidilao for three years, saved hundreds of thousands of dollars, resigned and opened a commissary in their old home. Early this morning, a rich man drove a Maserati to the store to buy a bottle of Red Bull. The rich man pulled open the can and saw a bottle, directly threw the bottle cap to the buddy and said: If you win a bottle cap for you, I don't have to give money. Then I left directly, but the buddies thought about it for a morning, and the more they thought about it, the more wrong it was!

5 Today I went to the exam room of subject three to proctor, and the first person to come up was a big sister. The whole process went smoothly, and the car pulled over and was about to finish the exam. Suddenly there was a bang of throttle, I was suddenly pushed into the seat, the car spun out several meters, a sharp brake, I was lying on the storage box in front of the co-driver. Only to hear the eldest sister come lightly: "I'm sorry, I used the throttle as a brake." "It scared me for a while.

6 Sitting nervously in the store, looking at the alma mater opposite, I was full of emotions. Seeing the former homeroom teacher walk into the shop where I was sitting, I was going to come up and say hello. I said excitedly: Hello teacher, I haven't seen you for many years, your old style is still ah! The head teacher looked at me doubtfully: You are the one... Was it the one who cried every day when I was in school? I......

7 During the Tomb Sweeping Festival, my father said that I was no longer a child and wanted to take me to the ancestral grave in my hometown to see. When we arrived at the cemetery, my father and I saw a man crouching on the ground, as if he were very depressed. I thought to myself, could it be that he was trying to steal tribute? I asked, "Don't you have money to eat?" He looked up and replied, "I'm hungry, waiting for my family to send me money!" "My father and I were so frightened that our legs trembled and we immediately fled into the wilderness.

8 The next day at work, the female boss somehow looked at the female colleague unpleasantly, deducted her salary for a day, and then the female colleague cried for a day, I wondered, so rich and afraid of losing that little money. Out of curiosity, I unlocked my phone at night while she was asleep, and the account balance was zero. I suddenly realized that I was being tricked. If she wasn't as beautiful as a fairy, I really... Really angry and crying.

9 I work for a Fortune 500 company, and I always go out for haircuts during office hours, even though I also know that doing so is against company rules.

Once when I was getting a haircut, the manager of the company happened to come to get a haircut, and I thought it was too late to hide.

The manager said, "Hello, I saw you getting a haircut during office hours." I calmly replied, "Yes, you see, my hair grows during working hours." "Not all of them, some of them are long hours off work." I replied politely, "Yes, so I kept some of it anyway." ”

10 Table Mate: Did you find out? You are the one who can find a balance! Me: What do you mean? People who think they are ugly, people who look at your appearance can find balance, people who feel that they are unfortunate, people who can find balance by listening to your experience, people who think they are not from a good background, I heard that you don't even know who your father is, you can also find balance!

11 Go shopping with my girlfriend of 10 days, and I'm going to take her down tonight. Unexpectedly, when she met her ex-girlfriend, she raised her hand and slapped her hand: Scumbag, just dumped me, and now she has come to harm other girls. After saying that, he gave me a mouthful. Then I turned around and asked my girlfriend: What color is your lipstick, it's pretty, where did you buy it? The two of them chatted like this. Finally, the two of them ran around hand in hand, leaving me with a confused face.

12 Felt that the salary of the Great Wall Group was too low, resigned and went to Jingdong to deliver the courier. After a morning of work today, I was very hungry and went to a snack bar to eat. As soon as I walked into the store, I saw the pantryman go crazy and kick a customer out with his ears twisted! I was startled, thinking that this place is also too dangerous, this is not knowing when there will be a rhythm of innocence! But suddenly the style of painting changed, and the customer actually began to beg for forgiveness from his wife. Now I finally understood, it was so! 

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