1. A woman was caught on the spot by her husband, who brandished a kitchen knife and asked her, "What did you say before you died?" She said, "This is the end of the matter, if you want to kill, you will be cut down, and you will not say anything."

1. A woman is caught on the spot by her husband, who wields a kitchen knife and asks her, "What did you say before you died?" She said, "It's over, if you want to kill, you have to be slashed, and you, the untrustworthy person, have nothing to say." Husband: "When did I stop talking?" Wife: "Didn't you say you wouldn't come back today?"

2. My son was about to enter the first grade after school, and in order to encourage him to study well, I said to him: Baby, after school, you must study well, just like your father and me, you must enter the top ten in every exam. Son: Dad, you lied, I asked my grandmother, she used to be a teacher at the school, she was embarrassed to sit in the same office as your homeroom teacher.

3. A few days ago, a new male colleague from the department had two scars on his face. We were all curious about how the scar came about, and asked him after getting acquainted, but he didn't say anything. Once, the colleague invited us to his house to eat hot pot, and suddenly remembered the matter, he asked his mother. Auntie said: One day the little rabbit cub came back from drinking outside, put his arm around the dog and said, come and come, sleep, take off the sweater, how uncomfortable it is to wear, so he tears it up while talking. And then the dog is on fire...?

4. Recently, female colleagues around me often wink at me and smile at me from time to time. Today she said to me, "I chewed gum when I went to work and accidentally swallowed it." I comforted: "It's okay, it's good to discharge, but I'm afraid..." The girl hurriedly asked, "What are you afraid of?" I smiled and said, "I'm afraid you'll fart and pop out a bubble." ”

5. On the campus of the university, the teacher will appear in the classroom on time when the class bell rings. Once, the teacher walked into the classroom, and there were only three students sitting in the classroom. Then, the teacher ignored it and gave two lessons in a row. After the lecture, the teacher turned back and asked: These three students have a very good learning attitude, why didn't the other students in your class come today? The following student weakly replied: Teacher, I don't know, we are not your students, we are here to study by ourselves!

6. When the old man went out to sea to fish, he caught a bluefin tuna and sold it for 180,000 yuan after landing. Seeing that I was idle at home all day, I took this money to buy me a Passat Runner Didi car. A few days ago, a hot mom hired my car to run errands in other places, and said that the price would be 750 yuan back and forth. But the day was not finished, and she opened a room in the hotel at night. She consulted with me: "Brother, you see, it's a bit wasteful to open two rooms, or we will be ready, and we can talk at night." "I thought about it, or sleep in the car, go back and she will not give the fare, then I will lose a lot!"

7. Last night, the female boss went to socialize for more than ten million orders, during which the customer has been pouring female boss wine, drinking too much in the back, calling me to ask me to pick her up and go home. I helped her to the co-pilot's seat, looked at the drunken landlady with some pain, and couldn't help but reprimand her: Why do you a girl drink so much wine outside, don't drink if you can't drink, don't know how to cherish yourself. The landlady didn't say a word, and her phone clutched the mineral water I had bought her. When the landlady was sent home safely, after settling her down, and preparing to leave to go back to her own home, the landlady suddenly hugged me from behind and said: No one has ever cared so much about me, you are the first, if you want, I will marry you, hand over the company to you, and I will teach you at home. I was suddenly in a dilemma, if I agreed, but the landlady was drunk, tomorrow woke up, will not talk does not count, if I refuse, but the landlady really wants to marry me? Emma, what a tangled mess.

8. With an excellent score of 590 points, he was admitted to the medical university. When I was a sophomore, our school held an athletics meeting. When it came time to hand out medals, it was found that there was one less gold and bronze medal. In order to cope with the photo, the school leader had to let people go to the neighborhood and buy two round chocolates to replace. When it was time to present the award, the long-distance runner took a particularly happy bite of the medal, and the medal was half bitten off by him. He was dumbfounded and asked the principal who presented the award, "Principal, why chocolate?" The headmaster touched a few hairs and said with some embarrassment: "Mainly I care about you, afraid that you are hungry?" #Funny Moment #Funny Moment #Funny Paragraph ##搞笑 #