1. One night I drunk taxi back to the public security department, the fare is 18 yuan, give the driver 50 yuan, the driver sees me drunk, he looks for me 2 yuan, I will be drunk to see the driver, the driver asked me: How much do you give me? I said 100 yuan, and the driver immediately said: Obviously it is 50 yuan. I looked at him again, and he looked for 30 bucks. I was still drunk and misty looking at him, and after an hour the driver cried, I thought that I had time anyway, just when the car woke up drunk, the provincial home wife did not open the door and was scolded!
2. Today a Bentley went backwards and hit a motorcycle. The owner of the Bentley got out of the car with a cigarette and said impatiently: "Dude, you can't ride a broken motorcycle!" Then he threw up his hands and gave the other party 2,000 yuan. Just as the Owner of the Bentley was about to get into the car, the owner of the motorcycle stopped him. The owner of the Bentley car looked surprised: "Well, give you 2,000 is not much, don't hurry to leave, want to blackmail me!" The owner of the motorcycle shook his head and said coldly, "Boy, call your dad and say you hit an Ecosse ES1 Spirit motorcycle!"
3. Just joined a new company, the boss gave me a box of high-end tea of great value, and my heart was warm. One morning two months later, the boss met me and greeted me warmly: "Do I still have the box of tea leaves I sent you?" I just finished drinking, even I ordered, I drank this tea to get used to. I could only shake my head, the box of tea had been drunk a few days before. In the afternoon, the personnel talked to me: "The boss said that you have too much time to drink tea in the office, and our company is not suitable for you." ”
4 Tonight I met a rich woman at a bar, and seeing her alone, I went over to have two drinks with her. She said that her receivables had reached 10 million in recent years, and it was too difficult to get back. After taking a sip of wine, he said, "I'm starting to study the Dharma now." I was stunned: What do you do when you study Buddhism? The rich woman said: Buddhism has made me understand a truth, and the money that cannot be received back is what I owe to others in my previous life!
5 My wife went on a business trip, and I and my little daughter were at home. Today the sun was shining, and I was holding my elated little daughter, carrying a basket full of food and wrapping a blanket. On the way I asked my daughter: Take you to a picnic and be unhappy! Daughter shouted: Happy. Then we got out of the elevator, walked more than ten meters to the lawn of the community, and began to lay blankets.
6 Playing qualifying with a fire unicorn, a schoolboy stood next to me and watched me play. As soon as I turned around, I suddenly found that he had 100 yuan in his hand, and I wanted to cheat the money. I took out 3 10 yuan bills from my pocket and said to the elementary school student, "You give me your one, and I will give you all these 3 pieces." The elementary school student nodded and said, "You only need to learn 3 dog barks and give it to you." "For the 100 bucks, I gritted my teeth and learned 3 dog barks. After the call, the primary school student laughed and said, "Dogs all know that 100 yuan is more than 30 yuan, don't I know?" ”
7 Went to Work at Foxconn with my buddies, because they are all newcomers, and the seniors are also very concerned about us. Last night's company dinner, the manager let us say two words, and then the buddies picked up the wine glass in front of them and drank it all, burping. Finally, he said affectionately that he grew up in a poor family, it was his parents who borrowed money everywhere to finish college, and now that he is at work, he must work hard to repay his parents... Everyone was slightly moved to hear it, and I was even more impressed with him, because I sat next to him and knew that he was drinking boiled water.
8 The old man danced square dance with Aunt Wang next door, and was seen by the mother-in-law who came back from buying vegetables. As soon as the old man entered the house, the mother-in-law went up and scolded him. After the brother-in-law saw it, he also stretched out his small fist and hit the old man. The old man said grievously: Why did you beat me and not your mother? The brother-in-law righteously said: Mom is a mother, but I don't know if your father is a parent!
9 A few days ago, I took a vacation and was at home with my son to see pictures of him when he was young.
Tell him interesting stories about his childhood.
Finally, I sighed: I think when you were just born, you cried every day and made trouble every day, and it was almost killing me!
Son: Can you blame me?
Me: Don't blame you for me?
Son: Yes, the first time I saw you, I knew that I had cast the wrong fetus, could I not cry?
10 Girlfriend made a boyfriend when she was a junior in college, which is a pure love little boy. The first time I went out with a guy, it was too late, staying in a hotel, this girl fell asleep in bed, and the next day she woke up to see her boyfriend still sitting at the table reading a book! She asked, "What did you do last night?" Boyfriend: I read a penal book one night...
11 The cousin earned 6 million yuan a year working at Ping An Insurance, and after resigning, he bought the reservoir in his hometown as a farm. Yesterday my cousin went to the reservoir and suddenly found an old lady grinding an iron rod. Catching his attention, he stepped forward and asked, "Old lady, what are you doing?" The old lady said, "See this iron rod?" I'm going to grind it into a needle! The cousin asked incomprehensibly: "What is the use of grinding such a hard needle into a needle?" The old lady smiled and said, "I'm going to leave an heirloom for our family!" ”
12 Walking on the road was hit by an open-top Poussin, and the female owner promised to take care of me for the rest of my life. I didn't even think about it and married her and lived a carefree life. That day, she suddenly asked me: Husband, if one day you lose me, how will you feel? Me: It should be like stir-frying without salt! Wife: Are you saying that losing my life would be boring? Me: You fool, I mean I'll go buy another pack!
![A patient with sciatica used a tonic formula to help him get rid of his troubles Remember one day, a patient with sciatica came to me, and he came to me with a limp. He sighed[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)