1. Do not disturb, the male guest came out and began to introduce himself: "I deal with the land all day!" In an instant the lights went out six. Male guest: "I don't have a stable high salary!" Then the lights came again

1. Do not disturb, the male guest came out and began to introduce himself: "I deal with the land all day!" In an instant the lights went out six. Male guest: "I don't have a stable high salary!" Then the lights went out eight more. Male guest: "I'm not going to buy a house yet!" Finally, the lights were all out. The host hurried to round the field: "I think many people look down on our peasant brothers, thinking that they have no money and no house, which is an extremely wrong idea!" Male guest: "Interrupt, I'm not a farmer, I'm a real estate developer." ”

2. I'm a cook, and when I first got married, I went to my mother-in-law's house. Every time the mother-in-law cooked how delicious it was, she cooked and let me go to the living room to watch TV. I always say I'll cook, just once at a time. My mother-in-law didn't let me do it, and I didn't do it, and I obeyed more and went more often. Or which link has a problem, and then go back, I just say I'll cook. She would say, "Great, try your craft, and I'll be her chef from now on!" What is the problem?

3. The old man is an associate professor at 985 University and has a pension of 3,000 yuan per month after retirement. Bored at home, he fell in love with fishing and spent thousands online to buy a new fishing rod. After using it once, the old man resolutely gave a bad review, on the grounds that the fishing rod was too strong! Customer service called and asked him why he gave a bad review. The old man had to tell the truth: this is my daughter-in-law's back, secretly using my own private money to place an order, when the courier arrived, just when the daughter-in-law was at home... She used her fishing rod to pump me dozens of times without breaking!

4. I got a job in sales, the manager asked me to wear high heels, but I didn't wear them, so I bought a pair last night, put them on and practiced at home, and as a result, I just took two steps and got my feet broken, and I suspected that I might not be a woman. Although I can't go to work today, I have to eat breakfast, so I go downstairs and go to the bun shop. Downstairs in the community, I met an old couple supporting each other. The aunt said to the uncle: See no, tell you that someone came out to exercise in the morning, you still don't believe it! Uncle said: Yes! I didn't expect that this girl was as young as I was suffering from this hemiplegia sequelae!

5. When my cousin bought an Audi A6 to run Didi at night, my younger sister brought him a red apple. In the evening, near a factory, I received a woman's order. While driving, my cousin picked up the apple and just took a bite, only to hear the woman behind him say: I also loved to eat apples when I was alive. The cousin hurriedly braked and asked: Who are you? The female passenger said slowly: I loved to eat apples before giving birth, but I didn't like to eat them after giving birth.

6. Drinking too much with colleagues in the bar, I hit a drip, and I didn't expect it to be a Magoteng. Surprised to get into the car, just feel the comfort of the car, the driver suddenly turned back and asked: is it drinking? I was stunned and asked strangely: You don't pull drinkers? The driver looked at me, smiled and said: No, just now there was a second goods, also drinking, as soon as I got on the car I asked him where to go, he said not to go anywhere, just sit!

7. Sitting in the company is very tired, when you leave work, it is like hurrying home to take a shower and comfortable, after work, waiting for the Didi Express downstairs. In my stunned gaze, a brand new Maserati, down came a big handsome man with a suit collar and white gloves. He very gracefully opened the car door for me, and after getting into the car, I nodded with satisfaction and asked: "When is the service of your express train so good, this car should be worth a lot." The handsome man said modestly: "Beauty, this is what our chauffeur should do!" "After listening to me, I was particularly touched, and with tears changed the destination of twenty kilometers to two kilometers!!

8. Jingdong 618 discount, I bought a lot of small snacks. Today the snack finally arrived, and I couldn't wait to take it apart and eat it with my mother. When dad came home from work, he immediately disciplined me. I said weakly: My mother is also eating, why don't you say her? Dad came to say: No matter how fat your mother is, I want her, what about you? I:......?

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