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1. I was sleeping in the bedroom, and suddenly my sister-in-law slipped into my bed, and she held me with both hands from behind and said: Brother-in-law, I like you so much, let me be your "temporary wife", and start talking

author:Puffs love music

1. I was sleeping in the bedroom, when suddenly my sister-in-law slipped into my bed, and she held me with both hands from behind and said: Brother-in-law, I like you so much, let me be your "temporary wife", and start to move my hands and feet. I said very angrily: What I like is your sister, and it is impossible to have anything to do with you.

When my sister-in-law saw that I didn't agree, she wanted to come hard and pounced on me again. I immediately slapped her in the face and directly beat her to tears.

The sister-in-law cried and said: I hate you, and I will never see you again.

After saying that, she ran out of my bedroom, and I looked at my sister-in-law's back in a daze, did I do something wrong?

2. On this day, I had a fight with my wife through wine, and then I slapped my wife in anger. After that moment, I woke up drunk, my mind full of fear and regret, and I had even begun to imagine the scene of the black man carrying my coffin. As a result, I didn't expect my wife to go back to her mother's house without saying anything. The next day I was called by the old man, who angrily scolded me: What kind of man is the man who beats the daughter-in-law, he has no chance, you have the ability to beat my daughter-in-law...

3. Today I went shopping in the mall with my husband, saw a dress, and went to try it on. Looking at the wearing body is quite temperamental, a look at the price tag 488, after trying the habitual pants pocket. My god, an Apple 11, someone must have forgotten to take it! After that, I said to the boss: So I want it! There was no bargaining, after walking out the door, I quickly took it out to see, it turned out to be a model!

4. Lying in bed, I accidentally found my wife shopping online. I hugged my wife directly and said, "The most romantic thing I can think of is to grow old with you!" My wife listened, looked at me very moved, and said: "You are still quite romantic, and so am I!" I looked at my wife with a smile, turned off the computer, and said, "Since you also think, let's save this three-thousand-dollar anti-aging mask!" ”"

5. I went to Foxconn to work just after graduating from college, in order to make more money. Usually, I am very busy at work, often working overtime, and I have no time to go home. After three days off work, I took a bus back home. After dinner, my mom and dad and I watched TV in the living room. Dad suddenly asked, "Baby, what will you eat at noon tomorrow?" I replied casually, "Sweet and sour ribs." Dad was stunned for a moment, and then Yu Yu said, "Come on, I'm talking to your mother!" ”?

6. Today I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents, and my 6-year-old nephew likes my girlfriend very much. In order to express himself, he played the piano and harmonica in front of my girlfriend. The girlfriend was stunned and asked: "How can you be so powerful, can you have so many talents, what is your uncle who will and you will not?" The bear child thought for a moment and said, "I will not leave you!" ”

7. I am a different person, and this was demonstrated when I was in school. In the first year of junior high school, the class teacher was particularly fond of me. Once he said to me: I have been observing you for a long time, you are a talent! The way of thinking is unique, imaginative, and the hands-on ability is strong. School education is too restrictive for you to play, you should go to the big stage of society! I believe you are a ghost, bad old man is very bad! It took many years to react, this is the legendary dissuasion!?

8. Every morning when I go out, my face is itchy, and I plan to see the doctor. The doctor looked at it for a long time and saw that there was something wrong, so he asked me to pay 450 yuan for a skin test. The report showed that all was normal, the doctor was not, so he had to take me to the doctor's office. Finding their director, the doctor said, "Teacher, I have seen her skin lesions in such a red method, completely symmetrical and with gradients, which is very strange." The director said, "Do you see that?" This is a blush! ”

9. I didn't go to college, my dad gave me 500,000 yuan and kicked me out of the house to help me rely on myself. I took advantage of my large stature to go to Wanda Mall as a parking lot manager. Later, a colleague hugged me unevenly, said that I could be a model with my body shape, and introduced me to a modeling company. I was embarrassed and said: I can't... He hurriedly said: Try it, don't lose! Later, I realized that people never know how good they are if they don't do it! After three months of modeling training, a lot of people were fired, but the manager left me. Since then, I have become a security guard at the modeling agency!?

10. I am an ordinary migrant worker in an electronics factory, and I have a crush on the female director of the company. But she was very good, beautiful and in good shape, and there were many people chasing her, but she didn't look at any of them. On her birthday, I had the courage to confess to the female supervisor, but I was rejected. I was heartbroken and said, "Why, is it because I'm poor?" The female supervisor shook her head: No, not only poor, but ugly! It seems that only a trick is used, I took out the gold bracelet and got down on one knee, and was preparing to propose! The female supervisor picked up the gold bracelet and did not look at it, threw it directly into the lake, and said: Unless you can get the gold bracelet back, don't even think about it! I stared silently at the lake and sighed deeply: This is what you said! Not long after, the gold bracelet floated up...?

11. It rained in the morning, and I met a strange woman, she stopped my car and had to hitchhike, and seeing that she was in good shape and wearing a skirt, I agreed, but she did not understand etiquette and sat in the back seat. After a few minutes, she said, "Brother, I've arrived!" I stopped the car, and she got out of the car and said to me through the window, "Scumbag, it's no principle to see a woman!" You're the 35th..." I was so confused that I really wanted to go down and beat her, but she was gone quickly. After a while I laughed again, the woman's mobile phone lagged behind the seat, I quickly drove away, called for leave, I had to find a place to unlock it, Nokia's mobile phone, estimated to be quite valuable.?

 #Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #搞笑幽默趣闻 #

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