1, yesterday to eat roast duck, sitting at the next table a pair of father and daughter, girls visually in high school. As soon as the roast duck rice came up, the uncle kept putting his roast duck into his daughter's plate, and said in his mouth: Eat more

1, yesterday to eat roast duck, sitting at the next table a pair of father and daughter, girls visually in high school. As soon as the roast duck rice came up, the uncle kept putting his roast duck into his daughter's plate, and said in his mouth: Eat more, eat more! I was moved: What a good father! However, the uncle went on to say: Eat more, eat a big fat man, no one can chase you can study well!

2, in the morning just went to work female supervisor came to me, said to borrow my hard disk to use. I picked up the hard drive and gave it to her, and in the evening the female supervisor took it and returned it to me. The female supervisor said: Your hard disk seems to have something wrong, 500G only shows 300G, I helped you get it. After saying that, she took the hard drive and smiled at me very proudly. I was dumbfounded, and when I plugged it on the computer, she actually formatted all my stand-alone games!

3, college students start a business do not grind and chirp. One will do market research, one will investigate partners! Thinking left and right, hesitating, a few months passed in a flash. Life is short, with the idea of entrepreneurship immediately do, early loss and early awakening.

4, last night in the barbecue stall saw a couple of men and women in the fist, lost to agree to each other a condition. As a result, the boy won, and the boy looked at the girl and said: Can any condition be? The girl nodded shyly. The boy said happily: Then let's not AA, you pay!

5, that night to eat supper, field snail pot, eating the incense suddenly very uncomfortable, stomach super pain and vomit up and down diarrhea, and the whole person is not awake. The family immediately sent to the hospital, the back of the drip a little better, vaguely remembered that the field snail pot has not been eaten, cold is not good, I began to ask "when can I go home, my field snail pot has not finished eating?" Then the doctor heard it and said, "Still eating?" Do you still eat? Do you dare to eat it after eating like this? ”

6, the ex-wife was scared to death because of appendicitis surgery, and I immediately married her girlfriend. After marriage, I found that she was particularly lazy not to do any housework and not to cook. In the evening, she planned to order takeout and asked me what to eat. I said: Whatever you eat, I eat whatever you want. She still asked me: Say, what do you eat? I said, "Whatever you eat, I eat." She still asked me: What do you really want to eat? I still say: I eat what you eat. She immediately became angry and said, You go eat. I said: Oh, then you eat, I don't want to eat!

7, just when I was a child, watching hamburgers on TV, family buckets, I didn't want to eat a family bucket with my parents, but my parents were human beings who didn't eat junk food. I grew up a little bit and wanted to go to a family bucket with my boyfriend, but I never had a boyfriend. Later, I found out that I could eat a family bucket by myself without a boyfriend!

8, women: when I was a child, I was called Wenjing, a little older was called childlike, a little older was called cute, a little older was called a lady, a little older was called Bai Fumei, a little older was called Royal Sister, a little older was called kindness, and a little older was called kindness. Man: When I was a child, I was called naughty, a little older was called a mischief, a little older was a bear child, a little older was called a bad teenager, a little older was called a dick, a little older was called obscene, a little older was called obscene uncle, and a little older was called old and undead...

9, after retiring, the husband bought me a house, but also to help me repay the mortgage, had to go to the bus company as a driver. In the morning, the old man drove the bus, and a girl in the front row asked: Master, how long is it until the final station? Old man: There is still a time for incense. The girl was dazed...

10, colleagues and girlfriends talked about three years of love, the other day the girlfriend let him go to the house to meet her father. Colleagues and girlfriends went to the father-in-law's house, and before dinner, the girlfriend said to her father: Dad, wait a minute, you pour a little more wine for him to drink. Dad was puzzled and asked: Doesn't he not drink bars? The girlfriend smiled and said: Yes! I just wanted him to get drunk once. Dad asked: Why? What good does it do you that he's drunk? The girlfriend then laughed: He was drunk the night before, and when he came back, he went to the study and got a stack of yuan for me.

11, like the company's new programmer little brother. I felt that he was very fond of me, but I never waited for him to confess. So I decided to prompt him. I once asked him, "Do you know what apostrophe cross-hook cross-skimming means?" He lowered his head and pondered for a while, his eyes lit up, and he said, "Mean you can't read?" ”

12 A friend of mine who is in love once asked his girlfriend very seriously, "Would you like to elope with me?" The girlfriend said emphatically, "Of course I do!" The friend was so moved that he almost shed tears, and the girlfriend continued: "Go to Lijiang or Sanya?" Hurry up and buy a house, buy a car, and get it done when you come to pick me up! ”

13, when the cousin went to the old man's house for the first time, the cousin accompanied the old man to play cards, fighting the landlord, the cousin grabbed the card and saw that the cards in his hand were not good, he asked for more weight, and lost a card of one hundred yuan! The old man nodded happily! As a result, the old man won more than a thousand times in one round, and in the second round, the cousin saw that he was holding a big card in his hand, and said, this game did not add a dollar to a piece, and sure enough, the cousin won the old man for more than a dozen dollars! After fighting the landlord for a few rounds like this, the old man who had come to see his cousin was not pleasing to the eye could not look up to the cousin, not to say that the cousin had a brain problem and could not marry his daughter to him!

14, send a small object, always love to let me accompany when dating, especially do not want to be a light bulb, refuse and fear of hurting the friendship from playing from childhood to adulthood! The situation was intermittent, and on the day of his wedding, he drank a little high, put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Brother, do you know why I always take you?" Height, looks, conversation, education, I only have a sense of superiority with you! Only to have confidence! ”