1, like a female colleague of the company for a long time, in the address book to note her name as a wife. Once when she was driving out of the company's car, her phone was missing. Ask me to lend her phone

1, like a female colleague of the company for a long time, in the address book to note her name as a wife. Once when she was driving out of the company's car, her phone was missing. Asked me to borrow her phone to call her cell phone, I didn't even think about it and gave her the phone. When she dialed the phone, her face turned red, and I followed the ringtone to find her phone, and when I saw it, it said... "Brokeback Mountain"

2, a mountain village is finally electrified! Every household was fitted with electric lights. Zhang San excitedly closed the electric gate and turned on the switch again, but the electric light was not lit, and he was surprised, and his wife was busy explaining: Don't worry, the electricity has not yet flowed to our house! -

3, business bankruptcy, had to go to the ex-girlfriend to work, today the ex-girlfriend suddenly called, I thought, broken, is not overtime again! Nervously picked up the phone, the ex-girlfriend said: Hey, make a few phone calls and you answer, are afraid of overtime! Even if you work overtime today, give you a day of annual leave! I'll go! And this good thing? Sure enough, the ex-girlfriend said: "I have nothing to do with my vacation to come home with me, my parents want to see you." "I didn't want to go, but how could I not bow my head under the roof of a man."

4. I didn't buy a sleeper ticket. Hard seat thirty-two hours. The car was extremely tired, desperate to sleep and couldn't sleep, and wanted to die. I thought: When I come home, I must sleep with him for two days and two nights. As a result, I got out of the car and got home, the computer was turned on, the net was connected, and I was resolutely drowsy. Tough did the game for a day. I just knew. Human potential really can't be underestimated! You can too!

5, just in class, I have been playing with the mobile phone, the female teacher reminded me several times, I did not listen, and then she came down to put away my mobile phone, after a while the girlfriend called, the female teacher answered the phone in front of the whole class, directly said: he is in the shower. And then it hangs up... Honey, no, you listen to me explain!

6. In my junior year of high school, I once played all night after tomorrow. I got a 15-level upgrade in one night and got a serious cold. It's been more than half a month, and it hasn't gotten better. During class, the teacher went out to answer the phone, and I was relieved to blow my nose boldly, and my voice was a little loud. Suddenly, the back said quietly: "Children have colds and old age, most of them are wasted." "The class was laughing, and I was instantly petrified.

7, last night asked the girl to go for a walk, I confessed, the girl actually agreed. I excitedly picked up the girl and spun her around, dropped her into the lake with a misstep, and after sending the girl home, she didn't answer my phone all night. Just when I lamented that happiness came too suddenly and too shortly, my mother came home after dancing the square dance, entered the door and said: You know no, just now, a confessed to the girl, and after being rejected, he threw people into the lake, which is also too cruel! "I...

8, a few days to go to a company interview, the personnel manager asked me to go back to wait for the news, I waited for two or three days have passed. This call did not wait, I couldn't help but call the company, and the result was that the end of the phone: I'm sorry, you were not admitted to our company! This makes me angry: your company doesn't want me to call me, in order to wait for your news I have rejected a lot of interviews from other companies Do you know? On the other end of the phone: We are also for your own good, for fear of hitting you in the face!

9, one day after work too lazy to cook, I ordered a takeaway. Not long after, a strange phone call came in, and I thought it was the delivery man who picked up and said, "Takeaway brother, today is very fast!" As a result, the other end of the phone sighed and said: "Daughter, I am your father, you say that you are such a big person that you can't even cook a meal, and you know takeaway every day!" Me: "Dad, it's not like this, I'm just because..." Before I could finish, Dad said directly: "Well, your mother has returned to her hometown, order takeaway and remember to order a copy for me!" ”

10, yesterday a crazy online loan collection called me, I answered and told her: You are typing wrong, I am not the person you are looking for. She was very insistent and played from noon to night and I had to shut down. The call came again this morning: Sorry, I made a mistake, you really aren't the one I'm looking for! Me: What's the use of your apologies now, yesterday because of the shutdown, kneeling on the washboard for one night!

11, when I went to my girlfriend's house for dinner, when I came back, the weather turned cold, and my girlfriend took one of her father's coats and put it on me. When I got home, I found that there were hundreds of dollars in my coat. I quickly called my girlfriend, and no one answered. So I called her house, and it happened to be her mother who answered the phone......... Later, I didn't say it, until now the old man has not given me a good face!!!

12, play the glory of the king has been losing, said more than two o'clock in the morning to sleep. I was late to the company in the morning, just caught by the big brother of the security guard, I blinked at him, and immediately entered the elevator while he was stunned. I thought that this matter had passed, but I did not expect that the manager actually asked the security brother to come to the office to identify the people who were late in the morning. The security guard came up to me and I winked at him. The security brother immediately spoke: Confirm the eyes, you are the one who is late!

13, the girlfriend is on a business trip, in the evening the girlfriend husband asks for help: he has a social at night, let me go to his house to help take care of the children... At more than 10 o'clock in the evening, his children were all put to sleep, and before they came back, I called to ask about it, and I heard a group of people on the other side of the phone coaxing: Sister-in-law urged you to go home, go home quickly... At this time, the tone of the girlfriend's husband suddenly changed: "What urge, first sleep by yourself, see if I go home and don't clean up after you!" "I...

14. On September 10th, Teacher's Day, I couldn't help but think of the junior high school class teacher who helped me the most. So I found a beautiful congratulatory card on the Internet and sent it to him. As soon as it was sent, the class teacher called over. He said: Don't make up these empty heads, your second eldest's living expenses for half a year should be beaten. Fortunately, the wife was helping on the side: Dad, one yard to one yard, living expenses immediately.