As long as it is a married woman, there will be a mother-in-law and an in-laws. Whether it is dealing with the affairs of the in-laws or the affairs of the mother-in-law, it will make women feel tricky. When dealing with the affairs of the in-laws, if the in-laws regard the daughter-in-law as their own, it is easier, but many in-laws do not really regard the daughter-in-law as their own.
When dealing with the problem of the mother's family, if it is not the only daughter of the mother's family, then in the eyes of the mother's family, the daughter who marries out is the water that is spilled, and the daughter is already an outsider. If an outsider interferes in the affairs of the family, the mother's family will naturally feel unhappy.
Therefore, when the girl deals with the affairs of the in-laws and the affairs of the mother-in-law, she must pay attention to the measure and know how to stop at the right time. If there is no measure, pointing fingers and feet to give orders, in the end it will definitely make people inside and out.
Some girls are obviously married, but their feelings still stay in their mother's home, and they still regard their mother's family as their home. When the mother's family has an affair, they will always rush back to the mother's house at the first time and go all out to help the mother's family. But sometimes such a payment will not be exchanged for the gratitude of the mother's family.
If you handle the affairs of your mother's family well, you should; if you do not handle them well, then everyone will blame you, and you will become a great sinner.
When encountering a sister-in-law bullying her mother-in-law, what should the eldest sister do?
Yang Xi and Liu Feng are a pair of girlfriends, and their mother's family is next door neighbor, so they grew up together and have a particularly good relationship. The two families are similar in situation, both are rural families, and both have a younger brother who is three years apart.
The parents of both families are very patriarchal and feel that their daughters are married, so they are not willing to spend money on their daughters, and everything in the family is left to their sons. Yang Xi and Liu Feng both only studied until they graduated from junior high school, and then they went to work in other places together, and later they were married.
In dealing with the issue of the mother's family, Yang Xi and Liu Feng's approach is completely different, and the results are naturally different.
Yang Xi's younger brother married half a year earlier than Liu Feng's younger brother, and Yang Xi wrapped a large red envelope. At that time, her husband was still very distressed about the money, but Yang Xi said that she was a younger brother, and her brother would get married once, and she who was a sister, of course, had to send a big gift, and her husband had to say nothing.
After the younger brother got married, there was always a contradiction between the sister-in-law and the mother-in-law, and the two ends quarreled over trivial matters for three days, and the younger brother was caught in the middle. Although her parents value sons over daughters and have always been indifferent to Yang Xi, but her mother and sister-in-law quarrel, Yang Xi is still very distressed about her mother, so she always goes to protect her mother.
When Yang Xi went to protect his mother, he was naturally in a state of hostility with his sister-in-law. Seeing that Yang Xi and his mother had united against his sister-in-law, the younger brother immediately sided with his sister-in-law. As a result, between his brother and Yang Xi, he also began to be in a state of hostility.
When the sister-in-law was three months pregnant, she quarreled with her mother-in-law because of housework, and she pushed her mother-in-law on the fire, and her mother-in-law fell to the ground. At that time, Yang Xi was at her mother's house, and when she saw this scene, she jumped like a thunderbolt and immediately rushed over to beat her sister-in-law, and as a result, her sister-in-law miscarried.
Sister-in-law's miscarriage, Yang Xi is a big sinner, no one in the family is on her side, the brother directly told her to "roll", not allowing her to return to her mother's house. His father also scolded Yang Xi for being a disaster, wanting to harm his mother's family and cutting off his children and grandchildren, even his mother blamed Yang Xi for being nosy, and Yang Xi was really wronged.
Because of the fall, my mother's health began to deteriorate, and she was later admitted to the hospital. The younger brother and sister-in-law did not care about their mothers at all because of the miscarriage. Yang Xi was distressed about her mother, and she could not ignore it, so she was accompanied by the bed and the medical expenses, all of which were borne by her.
In this way, the husband did not agree, the mother-in-law was sick, and should have been managed by the brother-in-law's family, so why is it now all taken care of by the son-in-law's family? Her husband had a big fight with Yang Xi and wanted to divorce Yang Xi, and Yang Xi could only plead with her husband not to divorce.
Liu Feng's mother's family is also often noisy, also because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but Liu Feng's approach is completely different from Yang Xi's approach. Liu Feng did not interfere with the affairs of her mother's family at all, no matter how noisy her mother's family was, she did not care about it, and was only responsible for taking care of her own small family.
Some people say that Yang Xi is very selfish, and Yang Xi feels very helpless, not that she is not willing to manage, but that she simply has no ability to manage, nor can she manage at all. Several times her husband said to her, "Why don't you go back to your mother's house to persuade them?" The mother-in-law is saying that you have no conscience, and when you see her being bullied by your daughter-in-law, you don't pay attention to it. ”
Liu Feng said: "She thinks of me now, when she favors sons over daughters, why don't she think that I have also been wronged?" After my brother knew my sister-in-law, she was so kind to her sister-in-law that she was reluctant to give me anything, so she had to give it to my sister-in-law. Now that she and her sister-in-law have a conflict, she thinks of me, I am an outsider. ”
When Liu Feng returned to her mother's house, no matter how her mother and sister-in-law told her that the other party was not, she was always "um" and "oh", never expressed her opinion, and was not biased toward anyone.
Once, my mother was beaten by my sister-in-law, and my father called Liu Feng. Liu Feng immediately went back to his mother's house, sent his mother to the hospital, paid part of the medical expenses, and accompanied her for a few days. Then she called her brother and said that she was in charge of the part she was responsible for, and that she was done with the rest.
The younger brother had no choice but to go to the hospital to replace Liu Feng, and then he spent money and took care of his mother, which was exhausted. After the mother was discharged from the hospital, the brother had a big fight with his sister-in-law and proposed a divorce. The sister-in-law does not want to divorce, so she can only compromise and no longer quarrel with her mother-in-law.
Because the daughter does not protect her at all, her feelings can only be pinned on her son, for the sake of her son, she can only make compromises and no longer argue with her daughter-in-law. Later, slowly the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law improved, although it was not the kind of intimate good, but they were also at peace and peaceful coexistence.
Liu Feng has always maintained the status of a guest in dealing with the problem of her mother's family, and she has never protected anyone or criticized anyone. Anyway, she should bear what she should bear, and she is not responsible for the extra, and she does not express her opinion.
Liu Feng's way of handling it, so that her relationship with her mother's family is not so good, not bad, anyway, it is polite. And Yang Xi and his mother's family are now like enemies, Yang Xi is not a person inside and outside, and his heart is very wronged.
When the girl deals with the affairs of her mother's family, she should pay attention to her own position
Living at home is originally a difficult scripture for the family to read, and the daughter who marries out has to mix with the affairs of the mother's family, and if she does not grasp the measure, there is a good chance that she will not be human inside and out.
The reason why Liu Feng can maintain a rational mind and not casually judge the right and wrong of her mother and sister-in-law is also related to her mother's lack of contempt for her since she was a child. She did not feel a lot of maternal love, so she was far away from her mother's feelings, so she did not protect her mother casually.
Because Liu Feng did not casually protect her mother, her sister-in-law did not reject her, and her brother naturally did not reject her. In dealing with the issue of her mother's family, Liu Feng has always maintained neutrality, where she should bear the obligation, she will bear, and the part that the younger brother wants to bear, she will never replace the younger brother.
And Yang Xi's handling of the problem of his mother's family is completely from the perspective of feelings. Her mother gave birth to her, and in her opinion, her mother was her own person, and her sister-in-law was an outsider, so of course she had to help her mother. But this gang, contradictions ensued, and finally led to her contributing money, but also made the inside and outside not the people.
Therefore, when dealing with the problem of the mother's family, the daughter who marries out cannot only start from feelings, but also have to face it rationally. Live at home, each has its own difficulties, do not impose your own ideas on the mother's family, the mother's family has the way of life of the mother's family, and people must respect and understand each other in order to coexist peacefully.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.