Text: Xuan Xiaolei
Figure: Network
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First, because of the suspicion of the wife, the husband prevented her for 10 years, and the wife had to pay the bill for buying vegetables
In a variety show, I saw an emotional case, Tang Zongyi (pseudonym), who is in his fifties, has been married to his wife Peng Ling (pseudonym) for more than 20 years, the eldest daughter is an adult, and the son is still underage.
A family of four, a son and a daughter, although not very rich and noble, but also well-off and stable, life should have been very happy, but Tang Zongyi had a knot in his heart, and this knot was quietly buried in his heart for 10 years.
Only because 10 years ago, when he played with his daughter, his daughter called him Daddy, and the female neighbor next to him said to the girl in a serious way: "Don't call him Daddy, he's not your dad, why do you call him?" ”
This may have been just a joke, but when Tang Zongyi heard it, it turned into a chronic poisonous seed.
Who, he thought, would a neighbor or friend make such a joke inexplicably? Is it a reminder to yourself?
Since then, he has doubts about his wife in his heart, because there is no evidence, and it is not easy to ask directly.
Because of this, his attitude towards his daughter in the past 10 years has naturally been affected, and he is not even willing to give her tuition fees for college.
10 years later, his wife proposed to sleep in separate beds, Tang Zongyi was a little annoyed, and the suspicion in his heart deepened, he directly asked his wife about his daughter, and asked for a paternity test.
When the wife learned that he had doubted himself for 10 years, she was helpless and speechless, believing that her husband did not trust him, but believed a word that others had inadvertently said.
I wanted to ask the neighbor at that time, but the family had already moved, and there was no contact information.
The reason why Tang Zongyi deepened his suspicions was that he felt that his wife seemed to regard himself as an outsider, and second, he felt that his daughter did not listen to him, and at the same time, he felt that his wife was selling insurance at that time, and felt that she had contact with many people, and perhaps the interpersonal relationship was too complicated.
Once a person begins to have doubts, then everything he sees seems to be false, so he can't listen to what his wife says at this time.
The wife said that she wanted to sleep in separate beds, only because she felt her husband's suspicion and estrangement over the years, and she did not give her a little initiative financially, and she only gave dozens of dollars every time she asked for money, and even bought a few dollars of vegetables to report.
Her husband made her chill, so she didn't want to have any intimate relationship with him, just thinking about the children, and the partner would live a life.
Unexpectedly, the husband still had a greater suspicion in his heart, the wife did not want her daughter to do a paternity test, thinking that it would hurt her daughter, and said that if she had to do it, no matter what the result of the appraisal, she would choose to divorce.
When the mediator asked Peng Ling if she thought there was something wrong with the child, she even said, "90% of them have no problems." ”
This is obviously a little uncertain, because there is still a difference of 10%, maybe it is okay not to say it, to say it, maybe it is a kind of fire, as if prompting Tang Zongyi to immediately go to the appraisal.
The couple came to the school to find their daughter Shanshan (pseudonym), and when they learned of their intentions, Shanshan had nothing to say and was naturally cold.
She said her father had been cold to her for years, and she had tried to get close to him and wanted to confide in him, but he didn't want to say anything to her at all.
At this time, Tang Zongyi's actions made his daughter very sad, but he also said that if he was biological, he would want it, and if not, he would break off relations with her.
The wife and daughter agreed to make an appraisal, and Tang Zongyi said that if it was biological, he would do his best to compensate them.
After the results came out, it was proved that Shanshan was indeed Tang Zongyi's daughter, followed by a divorce proposed by his wife, and compensation for the mental loss of her and her daughter.
Tang Zongyi mostly regretted it, but his apologies were useless, and his wife and daughter no longer gave him a chance.
It sounded as if he was blaming a neighbor for a sentence. However, the neighbor's words are not the point, the point is that he will believe such amusing words.
Second, even if the wife has problems, the daughter is innocent
Someone said, "The best proof of love is trust." ”
When these words were put on someone like Tang Zongyi, it was enough to show that he did not love his wife and daughter.
He had been with his daughter for many years before he heard the neighbor's words, and it was reasonable to say that he had established feelings.
However, these emotions disappeared without a trace because of a single sentence, and since then they have opened a cold mode for their daughter.
What a pity this is, the encounter between people needs fate, and it is also a rare thing to be able to become a father and daughter relative.
Don't say cherish, don't hurt. Some people, even if they are not biological, feel that they have feelings when they were raised and spent together from an early age.
How can you change your love for your daughter with a guess? Obviously, if there was love before, it is mostly false.
Because there is really love, I am reluctant to treat my daughter like that, after all, even if what the neighbor says is true, it is also the wife's fault, and the daughter is innocent.
This daughter probably had to spend her life healing this kind of harm from her father.
And the wife should also understand that the husband does not love him enough, because in a word, he doubts himself for 10 years.
In the past 10 years, from the wife's description, it can be seen that the husband is not in love with her, so he is guarding her, so he also withholds her financially.
Judging from the final result, the wife resolutely chooses to divorce, which can also be regarded as a manifestation of backbone.
After all, as Emerson said, "You trust people, and people are faithful to you." ”
You don't trust me anymore, so what else do I need to be with you? What else do I have to be good to you faithful to you?
For unbelief is an insult, a wound, a wound to self-esteem, a disrespect, a disrespect.
Taking ten thousand steps back, even if your partner does have some inappropriate behavior before marriage, or there is rumors about him, you should choose to trust.
Either don't accept it, don't be together. Either together, they have to be twisted into a rope, and they must be consistent with the outside world.
Once there is a mistrust between couples or couples, it is really like a chronic poison, and even if you don't say it, the day will be filled with harmful substances.
In the process of getting along like this, an invisible diaphragm will naturally occur, and even if you don't say it, you will feel that the atmosphere is not right.
Third, once trust is lost, the marriage can only disintegrate
In fact, trust is really an ability, and if a person has "suspicious heart disease", it is very sad to have a good life.
Even if he has not yet tortured others, he will first torture himself and be depressed, otherwise he will be like a mountain in his heart and crush himself.
But does the truth really matter? In fact, it depends on the current state.
For example, the family was happy and harmonious, the wife was virtuous and virtuous, had children, worked hard to run the family, and there was nothing wrong with it.
Then don't worry about the past, don't make a fuss, just look forward.
If the wife is not behaving well, not living a good life, and wants to change people, then just go and doubt it.
After all, once you express your doubts, the other party will not continue with you, and if you don't want to change, you have to change.
However, there is also a point that no matter what problems the husband and wife have, they should not involve the children.
Children are not victims of adult feelings, they are innocent and pure.
If it is really inevitable to encounter this situation, the child should also try to understand and forgive, do not hate, do not blame.
After all, some people's human nature is weak, which is also like a disease, a disease that hurts others and hurts themselves, once they suffer, they will also face the end of their wives and children.
And all this is the consequence of distrust, and in the end, you can only pay the price for your own lack of trust and lack of love.