It has been said that unfortunate love is when two people who love each other get married, but then it is found that two people are not commensurate with each other and cannot live happily together.
Therefore, divorce has become a couple who want to end their feelings, in modern society, divorce is an ordinary topic that can no longer be ordinary, if a couple's feelings are broken, as long as there is no objection between the two parties, as long as the divorce is in line with the legal procedures is also a simple thing, but why is it so difficult for someone to divorce?
First, the 68-year-old uncle, 7 years of suing 7 times to divorce his wife and children
Uncle Wang from Taiyuan, Shanxi, is 68 years old this year, and he actually said that since 2015, he has spent more than seven years divorcing his wife and children who have been married for 42 years. But the wife did not agree to leave each time, and the court, after comprehensively considering their marital status, also made a judgment not to divorce seven times.
But Uncle Wang insisted, "I just want a divorce." For this reason, he also sued for the eighth time in May 2021, when his wife and children did not appear in court, and he is currently waiting for the court's judgment.
It turned out that Uncle Wang and his wife had been married for 42 years and had a son and a daughter. He had been working in Taiyuan before, and his wife and children lived in Qi County with a pair of children. The two of them had gathered less and more, but he had a hard time going back, and his wife and children always quarreled with him, so that he simply did not go home, and completely separated from his wife.
He said that this marriage has long existed in name only, and in those years he was so young that he didn't feel that there was anything uncomfortable, and now that he is getting older and older, his health is not good, and he really can't afford to spend it.
In his hometown in Qi County, seeing the closed gate, Uncle Wang said that he had not returned to this home for more than ten years, and he was also unfamiliar with the appearance of the doorway.
Neighbors are surprised to see Uncle Wang, who has not returned home for many years, and a neighbor said that Uncle Wang's wife is almost 70 years old, and his health has been not good, and it is estimated that he went to his children's home for the winter.
I heard that Uncle Wang still wanted to have a break with his wife when he came back this time, and this neighbor also persuaded him. As an old neighbor for many years, this master also knew the affairs between Uncle Wang and his wife. Uncle Wang's wife has a quick temper and sometimes loves to drill the horns of the bull, and they used to hear the two arguing.
Uncle Wang was also very helpless, because his wife always doubted him, and he also provoked the three sisters of the neighbor to beat her up, because his wife loved nonsense when she was young.
Husband and wife have contradictions, can not put the responsibility on the wife, he also has to do something improper, if you do not reflect on your own behavior, or if there is a problem and do not communicate with your wife, it is bound to make the other party speculate. It not only affects the feelings of husband and wife, but also does not benefit the healthy growth of children. Uncle Wang also admitted that because he and his wife and children divorced, his children had great opinions about him.
Second, the father wants a divorce, and the daughter says: My mother has no idea of divorce
After learning of her father's intentions, the daughter said that since her father had sued for divorce for the eighth time, she would wait for the court's decision and there was no need to come back to her mother. Because the mother has been unable to withstand the father's toss for many years, some time ago got a very serious illness, for the sake of the mother's body, she did not recommend that the two meet at this time.
It can be heard that the children also have a lot of helplessness about the marriage between the old two. In the daughter's view, the parents' feelings have not been broken, and the mother has never had the idea of divorcing her father, it is that the father has not wanted to be with the mother, and the contradiction between the two has a long history.
The daughter said that her father went to work in Taiyuan when she was three or four years old, when her brother was just born not long ago, the responsibility of taking care of the two children fell on the mother alone, the mother is very hard, sometimes feel that the father does not care about the family, want to vent his emotions, not to the point of divorce. But the father did not understand the mother's difficulties at all, and did not spare the little problem.
Listening to his daughter's story, Uncle Wang was angry, and he thought that his daughter was always towards his mother, regardless of his father's feelings, he and his wife obviously couldn't get by.
It turned out that in 1999, he and his wife and children jointly funded a suite in Taiyuan, and after settling down, she wanted to take her wife and children to Taiyuan to live, but at this time, his wife and children were unwilling to go to Taiyuan with him to live.
Seeing that his wife does not live with him, considering that he and his wife have been separated for too long, the two people's ideas and living habits are different, and they often quarrel, and it will not be better to be together, but it is not a matter of separation, in 2015, Uncle Wang went to the court to sue for divorce.
The daughter said that after her father first sued for divorce, her mother was also anxious, because from the mother's heart, she did not want to divorce her father at all, so after the court ruled that the two were not allowed to divorce, her mother took them to Taiyuan to find her father and wanted to reconcile with her father, but such an incident occurred.
She and her mother came to Taiyuan, but her father said that he would not come forward and would not let them go home, so the two of them pried the door lock, which made Uncle Wang very angry and said that the mother and daughter were not good. But the son-in-law explained that when the two went to Taiyuan, they saw other women in the family. As soon as he heard his son-in-law say this, Uncle Wang was immediately anxious.
Uncle Wang repeatedly stressed that he had never done such a thing, there was no other woman in the family, it was his wife and daughter who misunderstood themselves, and then his wife and daughter once said something to him: You have found another woman, you are old, I and my brother do not care about you, just make up your life, don't want to divorce my mother, so that my mother has a better reputation.
The daughter's words are surprising, parents do not divorce for the mother's reputation to be better, so what is reputation?
The English Pope once said of fame in the Treatise on Man that it is something that is a fantasy in the lives of others; it is something outside the body. Even while we were still alive. People value their own reputation, even if the marriage is not happy, they do not want to be divorced, in ancient times, women were written by their husbands, because in the patriarchal feudal era, women's status was relatively low, marriage, can not enjoy fairness and justice.
Now that it is a society under the rule of law, people cannot pay too much attention to those empty names, just like marriage, whether they live well or not, only they know. Moreover, the freedom of marriage, really can not go on can be divorced, there is no need to cling to a nihilistic reputation to grievance themselves for a lifetime.
Third, the lawsuit is not divorced 7 times, the husband suspects that the wife is greedy for the family property, and the daughter is upset for the mother
The daughter also admitted that since that incident, the mother has changed from not wanting to leave, to not willing to leave, has been with the father, and the father also do not have to work hard, again and again to go to the court to sue, the two have entered a dead cycle, making them also embarrassed, do not know how to be good.
For the marriage between the two, the judge said that they also wanted to create another opportunity for the two to reconcile, after all, both of them were older, and Uncle Wang's wife and children were still sick, so it was not good for anyone to toss it.
Seeing the old couple tossing and turning like this, it is really speechless, as a child, while feeling sorry for the mother and wanting to protect the mother's rights, you must also consider the father's mood. Who is in the interest of both sides to continue to consume like this?
The daughter said that by now, she and her mother were willing to let her father come back to live a life, but Uncle Wang's attitude was resolute. Uncle Wang said, drag until I die, you will get the family property. Where should this come from?
Hearing this, the daughter also came to lose her temper. She just wants the family to be safe and sound, just a good reunion, just want her mother to be happy and comfortable, she angrily said to her father: "My mother does not want to divorce, don't leave."
Children in the world are generally close to their mothers, which is a common human feeling, but we cannot only take care of the mother's emotions, and ignore that the father is also a person with feelings. Just like Uncle Wang's daughter, she only hoped that her mother would be happy, but she never thought about whether her father was doing well or not. When the mediator's question was heard, the daughter and son-in-law were silent.
Marriage is free, and children cannot only think from the perspective of one party, since the father feels that he is unhappy, why should he tie them together? Uncle Wang also said that he did not have a good heart at all now, and as for the property in Taiyuan, he would not let his wife take advantage.
Uncle Wang's daughter was also helpless, and she hugged her mother unevenly. The 75-square-meter building in Taiyuan and the yard in Qixian are the common property of the parents, and the father cannot just give the yard to the mother, without mentioning the building.
Uncle Wang said that he had inquired before, the building could sell for 600,000 yuan, he gave his wife and children 300,000, and the two divorced peacefully. But the wife and daughter did not do it, not to ask him for 400,000, this time also because the two could not talk about the property issue, the court has not issued a judgment.
At the end of the mediation, the daughter also said that regardless of whether her parents are together in the future, she will fulfill her responsibility as a daughter and give her father a pension. Who expected that Uncle Wang would not appreciate it, and he would continue to wait for the court's judgment.
Sentiment Analysis:
Seeing the ending, sighing and speechless for Uncle Wang's persistence, to be honest, nearly 70-year-old people, spending seven years just to divorce their old partners, sympathy is also a little sad.
1. Why should an unhappy marriage be forced to stay
There is an old saying that it is better to demolish ten temples and not break a marriage, but from the perspective of the law, marriage and divorce are free, the law protects the rights and interests of both parties, not only from the perspective of one party, the court does not judge and divorce again and again is also to create opportunities for reconciliation for Uncle Wang and his wife again and again, but if every opportunity can not be grasped by two people, or there is no possibility and room for reconciliation, in this way continue to drag on, it will only increase each other's dissatisfaction and resentment.
2. Parents sue eight times, and the children are dragged down
In the relationship between husband and wife, we generally sympathize with the weak, the old partner and child fell ill for this, and the daughter also said that the parents sued for court eight times, not only let the two lose and hurt, but even they followed the parents to the court again and again, but also physically and mentally exhausted, left and right, and it was difficult to see it. As children, they can only persuade their parents to settle the problem, although the daughter hopes that the parents will stop gambling with each other, but only those who are in it can appreciate its pain.
3. Character determines destiny
Uncle Wang's old partner is also a stubborn person, so the personalities of the two are very similar, and because she is suspicious, so when she was young, she had a lot of complaints and distrust of Uncle Wang, and she would provoke the three sisters to beat her violently, just as the neighbor said, her thinking is problematic, to put it bluntly, her heart is small, her mouth is broken, in the absence of real evidence, she herself first ruined her husband's reputation before the two contradicted each other, so the character determines the fate.
4) Preserving reputation is a selfish act
In the eyes of the children, the mother brought up their sisters and brothers to give and contribute to the family, so it is unfair for the father to sue for divorce. It also makes them lose face, so disapproving of their parents' divorce, just to preserve their mother's reputation, is actually a selfish performance.
Some people say that loving fame is the strongest vanity. If the mother would rather have a reputation than maintain a marriage without feelings, it is also a sadness, no wonder she has the psychology of dragging her husband to death and resolutely refusing to divorce.
It has been said that fame is an empty and ugly thing. Some people say that paying too much attention to fame is a heavy burden, so sometimes forcing a senseless reputation, preferring to keep a broken marriage, what good is it for the children to themselves?
Whether to continue to drag and tie together like this, or to separate and be well, now that one is already ill, will the other have to be crushed? At this moment, Uncle Wang, his wife and children and children really should think about it well.