Wen | Honey Zen
What does the circle of friends mean to you?
Everyone will have their own circle, and the circle of friends is a window for many people to show themselves and understand the dynamics of their friends.
Of course, there are also many people who just use the circle of friends as an outlet to vent their emotions.
There is a relative in the family, who is considered to be a younger sister, who feels that he has married the wrong person since he got married. Complaining about her husband all day and hating her mother-in-law, she felt that she was very unfortunate, but she never found a reason in herself.
As the days passed year after year, the feelings between husband and wife became worse and worse.
Relatives and friends around her do not understand, she vents her dissatisfaction with marriage in the circle of friends all day, why not simply divorce it?
No one dared to ask her, after all, everyone's marriage, such as people drinking cold and warm self-knowledge.
This woman has been married for ten years and her life is a mess. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense, the relationship between husband and wife is cold, and the two children, under her influence, have been hostile and prejudiced to their father since childhood.
As long as she feels that she has been wronged in her heart, she will say to the child, "I want to divorce your father, who are you going to talk to?" "As a result, the two children were very insecure from an early age, afraid that they would have to choose between their father and mother.
The children's nervousness satisfied her desired sense of security, and it seemed that life could go on again.
Gradually, the people around her became "dumb". When she complains, men no longer contradict her, and her mother-in-law does not respond to what she says.
She felt that her emotional needs were being ignored, so she began to vent her emotions in the circle of friends. She wanted all her friends around her to know what a terrible marriage she had, an incompetent husband and a "vicious" mother-in-law.
At first, her friends around her would comfort her. But as the complaints increased, the friends around them became accustomed to it. When everyone talks about her, it is more not sympathy, but "women who don't understand gratitude", "women who will not be satisfied", "women who are out of control".
Let's be honest, who wants to be the trash can of your emotions all day long? Empathy is a particular luxury in itself. There are all kinds of people in the circle of friends, younger than you will not understand your hardships, and people of your same age are experiencing marriage and life trials, have no time to take care of others, and people older than you will think that you are making a big fuss.
How you want to live your life and what you can live has nothing to do with others, only with two people in the marriage. Therefore, when you tear apart the decency of your marriage and let the unbearable performance be in front of others, it will not make your life better. Instead, it will only make your life worse and worse.
Women complain about men in the circle of friends, complaining that the mother-in-law's original intention is to get recognition, and as a result, she painted a sentence for her marriage. After the divorce, get the comment that "she is not a suitable woman to live a life".
Women who are suitable for life will not vent their emotions in the circle of friends.
Life is a practice, whose marriage does not have contradictions and waves? But the solution to the problem is not to magnify the problem and let the relatives and friends in each other's circle of friends judge it.
I don't remember who said such a sentence, no matter how good the marriage, there will be a hundred thoughts of divorce and the urge to strangle each other.
In a marriage, whether it is a woman's emotional loss of control or a man's emotional loss of control, it is a disaster for the family.
So, what should be done when a woman is full of negative emotions inside?
Everyone has a time when negative emotions have nowhere to vent, especially those women who are married.
After marriage, women do not dare to easily talk to their parents about the bitterness of life, because they are afraid that they are worried; they do not want to tell their friends around them, because there are few friends who really feel sorry for you, and more are friends who are watching hilarity.
What if no one can talk to and you have to vent? Those who have the conditions can talk to a counselor or a family marriage counselor, and those who do not have the conditions can complain on the Internet, and there will always be one or two people who share your views.
There are problems in marriage, and venting emotions is not the fundamental solution to the problem.
Venting emotions is so that two people can sit down calmly and solve problems. If you just vent for the sake of venting, turn a blind eye to the problems that already exist between husband and wife, and your life is still not good.
First of all, don't feel like the whole world owes itself.
Some women feel that the whole world owes her in marriage because of the sense of gap between before and after marriage, so they pick various problems. If you feel unacceptable and have the option of divorce, no one will blame you.
But if you don't want to divorce, and always complain that you have found a husband who is not in the right place, dislike what you have now, and want to change each other and change the status quo through the power of public opinion, the result may disappoint you.
No one owes you, as long as it wasn't the man who put a knife in your neck and forced you to get married, and the marriage was the result of your own choice.
Second, don't expect too much from marriage.
Someone asked me, "Is there still love in marriage?" "Yes, but very little. Marriage exists more because both men and women work together to cope better with life, rather than to find a warm nest for love.
If you want to still enjoy the treatment of being in love after marriage, then stay away from marriage. Many people are unhappy in marriage because they eat love as food in marriage, and forget that life is the highlight of marriage.
Finally, be the master of your own emotions.
As an adult, whether in life or work, we should try to learn to control our emotions, find a reasonable window for emotions to vent, rather than letting your emotions amplify in the circle of friends, more conducive to your interpersonal relationships.
A person's circle of friends is sometimes like a business card, what you leave on it, what kind of impression will be left on the friends around you.
I believe that no one wants to have a friend full of negative energy around them. Life is not easy, everyone has their own need to face the difficulties and problems, friends can give you little help, solve the problem mainly rely on yourself.
Unhappy aside, there are still many warm and happy moments in life, and I believe that your friends would prefer to see you live happily than to live a chicken feather.