Love is the intersection of two people's feelings, marriage is the participation of two families' lives, so marriage has great responsibilities, and it is also very important to choose what kind of family. In fact, in the sense, people's choices have trade-offs, and there must be parts that you need to bear.
People's selfishness can be understood, but if the marriage is completely trapped by the sense of profit, then no matter what kind of family you choose, the end will be unhappy.
So the most important thing about marriage, I think, is each other's sense of responsibility. There is a choice and a responsibility, it is to choose first, to bear the responsibility in the back, to bear what you have chosen.
On the other hand, I am most afraid of the choice of not taking responsibility, and before marriage, I think about how to avoid responsibility and choose the family that can bear the responsibility for my marriage, so that I can get better enjoyment. Even thinking that you don't have to pay and bear anything yourself, you can live the most enjoyable life.
Why are many women reluctant to marry a family with two brothers? The subjective reasons that can be thought of are four points.
1. Affect your quality of life.
Although it is not yet time to divide the family property, if the in-laws only have one son, they will definitely pay more for this son, help more, and make up for the economy. One more brother also means that the meat in their mouths is less than half, after all, who will think that they have more meat in their mouths?
Is there a psychology of taking advantage of it? More or less, there must be a little bit. At the very least, it shows that independence is not enough, worrying about the in-laws' things.
If you strengthen your belief, whatever you want, create by your own efforts, and never covet anyone's benefits, you will not reject the family of the two brothers.
Or maybe they think that if the in-laws only have one son, then after marriage, they can revolve around themselves alone, and they will have an easy life.
2, where there are people, there are contradictions.
Where there are people, there are contradictions, and the more people there are, the more contradictions there are, so I am worried about the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the contradictions between concubines. In fact, this is very normal, when encountering concubines who can calculate, like to scramble and calculate, contradictions will definitely break out, and the key is that the relationship between concubines and concubines is still special, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the same, and they have to face it.
After all, there is a direct interest relationship, then there may be a conflict of interest, after all, you can guarantee your own character, but you can not guarantee the character of the other party.
When you encounter more excessive concubines, the more kind you are, the more you give in, the more you have to make progress, and you feel that you are a bully and do not care about your interests at all.
There are more people, more things, more things, more troubles, resulting in marriage life is difficult to calm down, every day to fight for your life.
3. Worry about the situation that the in-laws are biased.
People have a balance in their hearts, and they absolutely care about the equality of autonomous feelings and consciousness. So there are some contradictions and dissatisfactions that have already arisen before marriage, such as you marry your brother, but when your brother gets married, there is a house, a car, a bride price, and when it is your turn, there is nothing.
Or after getting married, the in-laws and mother-in-law help their brother more, and your heart will be unfair and resentful, especially the problem of who to help with the child.
In fact, in this matter, we must also be able to take into account the in-laws' difficulties and difficulties, the occurrence of each thing, the premise is different, the situation is not the same, maybe before you can help your brother with children, is the health at that time, when you get married, the body is not good, what to do if you have a weak heart?
There are also brothers whose lives are different from economic conditions, and their parents must more or less favor the economic conditions that are not good and their lives are too difficult.
4. The problem of providing for the in-laws in the future.
Pension, separation of family property, these things involve real interests, so it also means that all the problems of human nature will be infinitely magnified, then disputes and quarrels are inevitable, open the "mutual tearing" mode. People who are calculating will talk about how much the in-laws have paid before, such as paying more for you, you should give them a pension, or you have to take more money.
On the issue of old-age care, I think of a sentence in "Heavenly Dao":
"If I know that my father is not only my father, but also your father, then I must think of sharing responsibility, otherwise my heart will be unbalanced, as long as you are a person, you will think so." 」
So we can only think, that is my parents, no matter who they are, I will fulfill the responsibility of being a child, and as for what responsibility the brother can do, that is the brother's business.
In fact, everything has two sides, marrying a family of two brothers, it must be bad? If parents are fair, brothers are united, and support each other, loved ones will be the greatest wealth. There is a real example around, three brothers, the eldest first, then with the second, and then with the third.
The members of the three families have a pattern and tolerance, and they rarely think about what is small and profitable, no matter who encounters difficulties, the other two are fully helpful.
Therefore, no one dares to look down on the three small families now, and because there are three families supporting each other, the life of the three families is getting better and better, and they are thriving. During the New Year's Festival, a large family gets together, it is not lively, it is really envious of others, so the key is still people.
Including the matter of taking care of parents, if there are brothers, whether it is energy or money, there are people who share it, and they are relaxed with each other. There are also one-child families around, two young people, to support four elderly people, although the economy is not much difficult, but the energy, really not enough.
In the marriage and family, only the relationship between husband and wife is the key relationship, if the mother-in-law wants to make trouble, the concubine wants to make trouble, and you can't live, then you must be divided, this is the principle.
Everything is not absolute, life is mainly to see yourself, as long as you choose the marriage partner, capable, assertive, and brainy, then the problem is not big. When you are young, people are full of energy, it is normal to have disputes and scrambles, and when they reach a certain age, they look down on everything, they don't care so much about money, they feel different again, and they will kiss at that time. For men, on the other hand, relationship, family, and affection are not about what kind of daughter-in-law each other marries.
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