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"The Red and the Black": "The more you defend yourself, the more you expose your mistakes." ”
Only when a person has done something wrong will he defend himself. If you haven't done anything wrong, there's no need to defend yourself, because you have no shame.
Unfortunately, not everyone has such an awareness. Some people are not willing to admit that they are wrong, or simply make a mistake to the end, insisting that they are not wrong, thinking that the fault is in others.
Such a person, who is wrong again and again in the end, will lose the hearts of the people, will have no friends, and even the congregation will rebel and leave, and eventually end up with an old and helpless end.
In marriage, some mothers-in-law belong to such people, pretending that they are old, pretending that they are elders, frantically relying on the old and selling the old, and full of thorns, they can't listen to anyone's advice, no matter who persuades her, she will pounce on and bite people, or sell to others the crooked reasoning of her own summary.
The mother-in-law of the woman below is such a person, let's listen to her story together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
I will never forget the "feud" between me and my mother-in-law.
There was a year when the eldest, because the fetal position was not correct, the doctor said to have a caesarean section, and after the discharge, my mother-in-law began to corrupt me everywhere, and everyone said that I spent five thousand yuan to give birth to a child, and it cost three hundred yuan to give birth to a child plus confinement.
I'm very angry, but aren't the two lives of our mother and son worth five thousand yuan?
When the eldest was three weeks old, she forced me to give the child to her, did not let me be kind to the child, and when my husband went out, she forced me to divorce. To tell the truth, with such an evil mother-in-law, I also thought about divorce, but I was reluctant to have children, in order to let the children grow up in the company of my mother, plus my relationship with my husband was OK, so I did not divorce.
Although she was not divorced, her words and deeds penetrated my heart like a thorn, so that I had a shadow on her and was afraid to see her.
Now that my son has grown up and reached the age of talking about marriage and marriage, she has begun to rely on the old man to threaten me: "You are not filial to me, when you become a mother-in-law and have a daughter-in-law, I will definitely instigate your daughter-in-law to treat you well!" ”
My son is planning to get married next year, and my heart is happy and afraid.
Now girls are more expensive, it is not easy for a man to marry a daughter-in-law, and I will certainly not treat my daughter-in-law like my mother-in-law treats me. I decided to learn to cook, learn to learn to be a sister-in-law, and find a way to treat my daughter-in-law well. Moreover, I am gentle and kind, very good to the people around me, and the relationship with the neighbors is also very good, and the relationship between the concubines is also very harmonious, and the relationship with the daughter-in-law will certainly not be bad.
It's just that the words my mother-in-law said made me choke my throat like a terrier, like a thorn in my back, like a needle felt, what should I do?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
When people become mothers-in-law in their old age, the biggest stupidity is to "rely on the old and sell the old." The mother-in-law who "relies on the old and sells the old" may not agree with this fact now, but when she is old and helpless, she will naturally understand what is going on.
For example, the reader's mother-in-law is obviously "relying on the old and selling the old". Daughter-in-law gives birth to a child, there are two ways, either a natural birth, or a caesarean section, if the natural birth does not work, you can only have a caesarean section, what is there to chew on the tongue of this kind of thing? What's wrong with spending some money? Is it a crime to slander your daughter-in-law in front of outsiders?
To say that she has no brains, she may not be convinced, she may be cunning, but the truth is that she has no brains. People with brains can't imagine that your daughter-in-law did a very normal thing, but it became an abnormal thing in your mouth, do you think that when you corrupt your daughter-in-law, others will agree with you?
Absolutely not! Others will only think that your mother-in-law is too stupid, too bad, too vicious!
She said that her daughter-in-law did not filial piety to her, but did not reflect on what she had done to her daughter-in-law. When the child is three weeks old, you must take the child away, do not let the child be close to the mother, and also take advantage of the son's absence to force the daughter-in-law to divorce, so why do you ask the daughter-in-law to be filial to you? Do you stab someone three times, and the other person still has to thank you? Sick you!
In addition, the grandson is about to get married, which is a good thing, but she said that she wanted to instigate the granddaughter-in-law to bully the daughter-in-law, or was she a person? "Relying on the old and selling the old" must also have a limit, otherwise you will only lift the stone and drop it on your own feet!
Judging from the situation that the woman finally talked about, she did not have any problems, she had a good relationship with the people around her, a good relationship with the neighbors, and a good relationship with the concubine, indicating that she had no problem as a daughter-in-law, and there would be no problem after becoming a mother-in-law.
So she didn't have to be afraid at all, as I said when I replied to her: "Don't get into trouble, don't be afraid, just do what you have to do." In the future, be a good mother-in-law and have a good relationship with your daughter-in-law, as long as your daughter-in-law is a sensible child, you will never be black and white, and you will never be provoked by your mother-in-law. ”